I’m speculating here.
Emgland - Bristol is not a very engaging city, Bath is lovely. I had high hopes for London. The Hop on Hop off buses are great if you’re there for a few days. But after the obvious sites, it’s a bit of a kip. Dirty, full of rubbish and smells like a sewer in the morning. It all seems a bit jaded, England. The whole time I was in England I couldn’t get a decent cup of tea, it tasted hideous eveywhere we went. Is it the water or something? The food wasn’t great either.
Paris though. We’re here a few hours and loving it. It’s such a vibrant, immediate place.
The Eurostar is a great thing, found it very handy
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Bristol is a great spot, you’ve done something wrong there.
What’s the plan for Paris?
Visit sites, eat food that’s not too expensive, keep 15 year old from boredom, keep wife from killing him or me for that matter. Usual holiday stuff.
Though I will be spending time studying the jardinaire here.
Do a hop on hop off tour, have a dinner in a chain restaurant, sum the entire country up in a 10 line post.
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He was in fucking London in fairness it’s not like there’s much more to it.
fitzy with a “i love paris” t-shirt on and then complaining about the grub “foregin muck, and I can’t get a decent cup of tae” 
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Annoy the shit out of some west brits apparently.
Weren’t you moaning you couldn’t get inter dental brushes in Ennis.
Try the science museum fitzy for junior. He may also like the Bastille
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The Aussie in him would identify more with the prison.
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Not hard to identify that joke given how many times you’ve used it.