Even fucking contact lenses are better, maybe because your eyes havenāt been fucked up in the first place by some boozed up eye doctor performing laser surgery with his degree from a shitty mick college,
This is getting boring now and heās only playing to the gallery. 
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Sky broadband installers, the boys in Ireland are too busy drinking
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Giant sinkholes swallowing cars.
You wouldnāt see a proper sinkhole like that in Mickland.
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Broadband installation - the half drunk installers would probably wire it up all wrong before heading back to the pub in mickland. You wouldnāt get that on the mainland.
Sorry, forgot to mention - you couldnāt make it up.
(Great thread @fran )
Can you not read back two fuckinā posts?
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I felt it didnāt quite catch the true sensibility of the original post that inspired it. If this thread is to be a success, it canāt just be a throwaway representation, it must deliver the subtlety and nuance we associate with the legend in question.
Oh, and fuck off.
Listen here cuntihooks, @Fran created this thread; he can deliver however much or little subtlety or nuance he so wishes. And I will fuck off. But as an aside, I was fucking off anyway before you told me to.
I believe Fran will be the first to tell you that I have given huge assistance and support in this noble venture.
Where are you fucking off to?
I went for a shit, if you must know.
Televisions.
Specifically, curved televisions that are unreal for sport and would blow your mind.
I must, I must
Batter
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Colonies with loyal subjects.
Organic cod burgers.
Motās.
Weather forecasts. The spud micks havenāt a notion
Realistic security exercises
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Civil wars.
Egg trees.