Annoying Office Jargon - Part III


Per Vias Rectum


Bobby Collins would, thats for sure.


Yeah, like it, really like it.


Per Vias Rectas.



The bastards jumped me and asked for one on the spot. I panicked, shat the togs, I’m away to the Toilet Etiquette thread but keep posting, still 2 more so all’s not lost.


a co worker said he was going to “put his head above the parapet” and propose some outlandish justification for mismatched data at a review forum next week, background is that we have a process that is “out to lunch”, id say its mismatched around 3 sigma from baseline data over last 28 days and this boy is going to try to make a case for us at a review next week ,
its a suicide mission


Please refer this as the ‘gold copy’ from now on Mickee.



Not strictly jargon but I really liked this when I saw it today for the first time.

" …“immediate family member” means a person’s spouse, spousal equivalent…"


“This year I think we’ve done a good job in doubling down on our core.”

We receive regular mails that keep us informed on all matters spoof, one email sent yesterday invited us all to dress casually for the remainder of the holiday season. I am horrified that everyone is dressed in business attire today and must ignore these emails.


I’ll tell you a good one Mike…

Yesterday we had an ‘All Hands’ meeting with our US partners. The email stated something about a Christmas jumper theme but nobody took any notice. When it came to the meeting one of our big wigs remarked that nobody was wearing Christmas jumpers and immediately looked concerned… in a fit of panic she left the room and returned with a box of tinsel and started drapping it over the people in the front row :joy: :joy: :joy:

You couldn’t make it up.


sounds like a few lads need to get on board and buy in


The disrespect some people have for their corporate masters amazes me at times.


Lolzers. I find the fear and reverence they have for their “betters” very amusing. The cap doffing does be unreal.


Meant to post a question here last week.
I was on the phone to a regional manager twice and both times he said as the conversation finished ‘ok fella, talk soon’

I’m a little put out over the ‘fella’ bit to be honest. Anyone care to comment on this.


Manual workaround
Knowledge transfer


KT Johnny


Also described as “leveraging from the knowledge base”.


Very unprofessional behaviour from a regional manager. Can’t imagine a respected poster like yourself behaving in such a manner. He may see you as a threat and is trying to patronise you in a futile attempt to provoke a reaction.