Annoying Office Jargon - Part III


#1064

Agile working.


#1065

Thinly veiled “ pretending to work from home”.


#1066

Working from home IS pretend working. Full stop.


#1067

Got this beaut yesterday.

As part of new legislation we are now required to report two new sets of numbers related to our compensation. The first is the ratio between our CEO and median employee’s compensation. The second is our Gender Pay Gap.

after the news was delivered they finished up with …

Moving forward, you can expect to hear more from me around compensation and diversity. I know this is important to you, and I am committed to communicating with you in an open and transparent way.


#1068

Another woman hater…


#1069

What’s the jargon here?


#1070

I don’t discriminate. I hate everyone.


#1071

Eh?


#1072

This thread is for annoying office jargon, which part of that was annoying office jargon?


#1073

I was invited to a series of “Drumbeat” meetings today.

Bidda Lord!


#1074

They obviously don’t trust you to get the job done.


#1075

Having intentionality


#1076

Was it a wardance?


#1077

I was told today of a P1 problem. Apparently this means Priority 1.
He could have just said it was urgent.


#1078

It’s not me they don’t trust, it’s finance and especially procurement who are the problem


#1079

Did you just tell him to plug the printer out and back in again mate?


#1080

There’s urgent and there’s “urgent”.


#1081

P1 isn’t urgent. That’s P0.


#1082

That sounds like an operational matter. There’s a 1800 number you call for that.


#1083

Just used the phrase ‘cradle to grave’ there in relation to a large scale project plan.