Calling SS**

I was talking to a man today who played soccer with you many moons ago. He likened you to a young Niall Quinn…

Who is this cunt Dunph and what did he tell you?


He said you were a good man to knock the ball up to and for flick ons. You were also sublime in the air i am told…

That’s all very true. However I don’t think I ever played competitive association football in my life.

I heard a rumour that you bestrode the desmond league like a bohemoth for Meanus, SS*…Read it on the wall of the shitter in Ted’s

The Desmond League is for west Limerick not for townlands like Mortgage Meanus

Very poor local knowledge there, Puke, we play in the same Limerick District League as the vaunted Fairview Rangers, Star Rovers, Ballynanty, Wembley, Pike Rovers etc. Desmond League is for The Runt’s mob.

I played underage in the District league and we never once went slumming it out to the sticks

Not my fault ye were too low down the divisions to be playing against glamour sides like Manister, Meanus and Holycross, Puke.


Other way round, crater…

Who were you playing with when you weren’t hanging around the jacks in Jackman Park, Puke?

I won’t name names but if you made an educated guess you would get it, their pitch would be spitting distance from the Clon…