I’ve been annointed twice art…but long time ago
Genuinely surprised this has not been mentioned yet considering some of the animals posting here. 
a pregnancy test?
carry, if you’ve been trying these may I suggest putting some money aside for some seriously expensive surgery
[QUOTE=“carryharry, post: 1006004, member: 1517”]Genuinely surprised this has not been mentioned yet considering some of the animals posting here.
http://www.medindia.net/patients/patientinfo/images/home-pregnancy-test.jpg[/QUOTE]
Im not, unless cattle, sheep and wanksocks can use pregnancy kits, cause thats the only ride most of the deviants here are getting
Welcome back
Was trying to hunt a cow out of a crush backwards years ago and decided to hop into the crush in front of her like a fucking ejit. After a good few clatters in the head she decided she had enough and went for me. She would have gone straight over me but I managed to hop up on the side of the crush and she squeezed past me pinning me to the bars as she went. I could barely walk with the pains in my pelvis / hips but it could’ve been a lot worse
We need to set up a TFK cattle handling course.
Was about 2 paces ahead of being crushed by a car against a bike rack last November while walking home from work. The car was intending turning left in rush hour traffic to get into a small car park I was walking across the entrance of and the car behind it shunted it royally up the backside when it slowed down sending it flying into the space where I had been a split second previous.
I’d have been fairly shaken if I hadn’t of been drunk at the time.
Any close shaves with Law chaps?
FFS you haven’t lived if you haven’t been arrested at least once
I was nearly annilated 2 weeks on the 25. A car came in from the right hand lane and spun accross 3 lanes up by heathrow. It was an absolute miracle no one was killed. I was very shook after the incident
I hope you had a stiff drink afterwards pal…
[QUOTE=“carryharry, post: 1006004, member: 1517”]Genuinely surprised this has not been mentioned yet considering some of the animals posting here.
http://www.medindia.net/patients/patientinfo/images/home-pregnancy-test.jpg[/QUOTE]
Shudder, twice, negatory in both instances, thank fuck.
17, went over the handlebars of my bike, landed on my face on the road, broke about 8 teeth, serious damage to boyish good looks, completely unconcious lying on the road with a lorry and a few cars barrelling down the hill towards me, they couldn’t have seen me with the dip in the road. Neighbour driving the other way sees me, stops, belts over and drags me off the road about 3 seconds before the lorry would have gone over me. Still get the shivers when I think about it. He nearly had a heart attack.
Fell about 30 feet off a ladder in Boston once as well after a hornet bit me, landed on long grass and just winded thankfully.
bit of a disparity in story 1 and 2 there @Fitzy , big difference between a lorry crushing your skull and a wasp sting
I was more concentrated on the 30 foot fall mate
you should have kept your eye on the 1/2 inch wasp
There’s a book, hidden deep within me somewhere Harry.
I remember a day, back in the late 60’s lowering a Butchers Apron beside some church in Enniskillen. The oul’ verger or whatever spotted us, yelped and we took off. Cruising along merrily, about 5 miles from the Customs Post (as it was then) a flurry of nee-naws appeared in the rear-view mirror. We had a cwt. of butter in the boot (£40 profit at the time) so realised the game was on.
I was driving a Cortina 1600E at the time and she proved her mettle. The barrier was up, to facilitate the latest emigree, and I tore through - slamming the brakes about 50 yds on.
As I look back now, these fuckers got out, armed to the teeth, accosted the Border officer ( a cunt of the highest order) seeking answers, extradition rights, the Geneva Council…We, meanwhile, lit a few Sweet Aftons and their fucking flag, to raptourous cheering from the assembled masses of Swanlinbar.
All 4 of us involved that day enjoyed convivial pints last weekend, for the 1st. time in many years, although the incident didn’t come up.
On a scale of 10, given other close shaves, it’s about a 4.
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fuck me boxty…I thought you meant shot a british soldier (lowered a butchers apron), in fact after a 3rd read Im still not certain…
He was a sight bigger than 1/2 inch and I also had two eyes then…