I’ll explain this one briefly.
Trip to Glasgow for a Celtic game which DB, TASE, Croppy and presumably others such as The Beak and maybe Messiloney attended.
DB is some man for the rum and coke and presumably had a fair few knocked back in Fáilte pre-game. He then stopped off in Hagies for a couple more en route to the match and was plastered at arriving at Celtic Park. The match passed without incident but DB was very much the worse for wear post-match. He was unsteady on his feet, a little emotional and not in possession of all his faculties.
It’s a fair hike from Celtic Park back to the Gallowgate, nevermind Celtic Park, but our gallant troops headed back into town together. DB soon realised that he was close to requiring a shit but there was no suitable venue in the area and the large masses of supporters nearby made shitting in a laneway difficult. He soldiered on as best he could, farting as he went, but suddenly one escaped dreadfully on him and he ended up shitting himself.
He is an emotional guy but with drink taken and football emotions swirling around in his head he was a little overcome by this trauma. He sat down on the kerb and, disgusted with himself, he began to weep. He reached a right hand down inside the back of his jeans to check the damage and realised he’d had a rather voluminous dump in his own pants. The tears flowed a little quicker and the gentle weeping became a loud sob. The other lads hadn’t noticed him stopped so turned around and saw him 50 metres back crying his eyes out. They arrived back and DB became a little embarrassed by his situation so wiped the tears away with the self-same right hand. The world was left with the sight of shit-stained tears streaming down DB’s face and he sniffled and snorted and swallowed some tears and simply proceeded to eat his own shit.