Just remember, it’s not stalking unless you’re caught
Is an admission of guilt not the same as being caught?
I prefer to call it selective walking. Stalking has such bad connotations.
what is this Facebook craic and is it worth getting?
i do like the idea of sounding out random birds on the sly.
It means you put your ugly mug up there on the net and everyone else puts there’s on too. You fill in a load of shit about what you’re into, the more obscure the better. You then ‘poke’ birds you fancy and see do they poke back, if they do it’s game ball.
I sent a joke email of complaint to a nightclub in Sydney. Cargo it was called. I ended up bantering with the respondent over the course of about 6 months. Then she said she was gonna stalk me on Facebook and I made it easier for her to find me by tellig her my email address. Turns out she’s quite the ride. Despite asking for her in Cargo a number of times she was never there when I asked. I wrote this song for her but the date never materialised. A shame.
Jackie’s Song
You came into my life last October,
Whether you were a stunner I did wonder,
The email banter was very witty,
I thought to myself,
Ooh I might fancy this Smithy.
Then there was the sudden gap,
I longed to have my Jackie back,
I emailed you then back in Jan,
And this was the start of my evil plan,
To woo you with my scathing sarcasm,
So that in good time we could mix protoplasm.
I’ve popped into Cargo many’s the time,
To scope out the scene of my sex crime,
Don’t worry my sweet, I’m only jokin’,
I’ll just think of you while the chicken’s chokin’.
I’m sorry that last verse was so sick,
I understand if you think I’m a prick,
But I think part of you wants to meet me,
How bout Hyde Park this Sat at 3?
I’d take you for a romantic picnic,
Where I’ll stun you with my awesome rhetoric.
And you can tell everybody this is your song,
It may be quite simple but it’s better than the one by Elton John,
Did you get that last gag? I hope you did,
Or else, of you, I’ll have to get rid,
For you see I am looking for an intelligent bird,
Preferrably one that is seen but not heard.
Of course, again, I am just foolin’,
Although it is somewhat important you’ve had a good schoolin’
You’ve seen my photos on the Facebook,
I’m curious to know what you think of my look,
For example do you like my beard?
Or do you think I look old and weird?
For you I’d shave a thousand times,
And muse and write a thousand rhymes,
My mate says this poetry’s too ABC,
But I picture your face smiling with glee,
My mate by the way is Alan McDermott,
He’s just jealous because he’s a hermit,
You’ll probably meet him, he is my best mate,
But he fooked up with Meadbh and does currently self-hate,
Don’t hold it against him he’s a bit of a laugh,
But bad news for you I’m squatting in his gaff,
I’m sharing his room at the mo,
So back to yours we’ll have to go,
I’m sorry if you think I’m being presumptuous,
But I think that you are ridiculously sumptuous.
So I’ll sign off this poem with something to contemplate,
This Saturday at 3,
What you say to a date?
1 Like
[quote=“ClarkeyCat”]I sent a joke email of complaint to a nightclub in Sydney. Cargo it was called. I ended up bantering with the respondent over the course of about 6 months. Then she said she was gonna stalk me on Facebook and I made it easier for her to find me by tellig her my email address. Turns out she’s quite the ride. Despite asking for her in Cargo a number of times she was never there when I asked. I wrote this song for her but the date never materialised. A shame.
Jackie’s Song
You came into my life last October,
Whether you were a stunner I did wonder,
The email banter was very witty,
I thought to myself,
Ooh I might fancy this Smithy.
Then there was the sudden gap,
I longed to have my Jackie back,
I emailed you then back in Jan,
And this was the start of my evil plan,
To woo you with my scathing sarcasm,
So that in good time we could mix protoplasm.
I’ve popped into Cargo many’s the time,
To scope out the scene of my sex crime,
Don’t worry my sweet, I’m only jokin’,
I’ll just think of you while the chicken’s chokin’.
I’m sorry that last verse was so sick,
I understand if you think I’m a prick,
But I think part of you wants to meet me,
How bout Hyde Park this Sat at 3?
I’d take you for a romantic picnic,
Where I’ll stun you with my awesome rhetoric.
And you can tell everybody this is your song,
It may be quite simple but it’s better than the one by Elton John,
Did you get that last gag? I hope you did,
Or else, of you, I’ll have to get rid,
For you see I am looking for an intelligent bird,
Preferrably one that is seen but not heard.
Of course, again, I am just foolin’,
Although it is somewhat important you’ve had a good schoolin’
You’ve seen my photos on the Facebook,
I’m curious to know what you think of my look,
For example do you like my beard?
Or do you think I look old and weird?
For you I’d shave a thousand times,
And muse and write a thousand rhymes,
My mate says this poetry’s too ABC,
But I picture your face smiling with glee,
My mate by the way is Alan McDermott,
He’s just jealous because he’s a hermit,
You’ll probably meet him, he is my best mate,
But he fooked up with Meadbh and does currently self-hate,
Don’t hold it against him he’s a bit of a laugh,
But bad news for you I’m squatting in his gaff,
I’m sharing his room at the mo,
So back to yours we’ll have to go,
I’m sorry if you think I’m being presumptuous,
But I think that you are ridiculously sumptuous.
So I’ll sign off this poem with something to contemplate,
This Saturday at 3,
What you say to a date?[/QUOTE]
Weirdo.
We’re missing stuff like that round here. Well played Clarkey.
As a fellow poet, I commend you, Clarkey, on your outstanding work.
:rolleyes:
Aussie birds are gamey sorts and no mistake. I recently texted one about a room that’s for rent in my house as she’d been interested in it last September and I found her number in an email from that time. She replied that no, she’d just moved into a place actually but would I like to go for a drink. 
Yes. Yes I would. :rolleyes:
[quote=“Garda Sean Horgan”]I can’t talk.
I spend all day on TFK.
I’ll have to say that those garda in the car are showing vast amount of potential crimebusting energy.
They are sitting there, poised in the car, ready to put emergency action into motion at any given notice. If they were sitting outside the car eating a cone and with their shoes off then I would agree with you.
There is also the possibility that they are trying to catch the waterford car theif who only steals cars when there are 2 guys asleep in one.
If so, they are showing tremendous skill and dedication to their job and should be hailed from up on high.
Not me though, I did work back in the early nineties. It someone elses turn now.
Yours etc,
GSH.[/QUOTE]
The cops are back here today,the diligent worker has returned but hes being accompanied by two different plainclothes dossers today,on of ems a fairly tidy blonde thing,shes only around 5ft tall but she’d get it,it goes without saying that shes doing fuck all work however.
[quote=“Thrawneen”]Aussie birds are gamey sorts and no mistake. I recently texted one about a room that’s for rent in my house as she’d been interested in it last September and I found her number in an email from that time. She replied that no, she’d just moved into a place actually but would I like to go for a drink.
Yes. Yes I would. :rolleyes:[/QUOTE]
What happened to the French burd Thrawneen?
[quote=“Thrawneen”]Aussie birds are gamey sorts and no mistake. I recently texted one about a room that’s for rent in my house as she’d been interested in it last September and I found her number in an email from that time. She replied that no, she’d just moved into a place actually but would I like to go for a drink.
Yes. Yes I would. :D[/QUOTE]
the feelgood story of the day!
[quote=“Thrawneen”]Aussie birds are gamey sorts and no mistake. I recently texted one about a room that’s for rent in my house as she’d been interested in it last September and I found her number in an email from that time. She replied that no, she’d just moved into a place actually but would I like to go for a drink.
Yes. Yes I would. :D[/QUOTE]
Good stuff Thrawneen. I scored a bird in fairly similar circumstances before as well. Might be no harm to advertise a room for rent every couple of months and see how you get on.
Runt
WEre you the lad that was caught a while back advertising the room in return for sex?
[quote=“W.B. Yeats”]Runt
WEre you the lad that was caught a while back advertising the room in return for sex?[/QUOTE]
I missed that one, but no, I was never caught.
Are you a stud Thrawneen? French birds cheatin’ on their fella for you, random Aussie birds asking you out, you sound like a ladykiller.
Some lad that was renting a room on daft a while back
Think he may have been a foreign national of some description although that has nothing to do with him being a deviant
[quote=“W.B. Yeats”]Some lad that was renting a room on daft a while back
Think he may have been a foreign national of some description although that has nothing to do with him being a deviant[/QUOTE]
This bird came to see a room we had for rent, but our house was a kip and no right minded girl would move in there. She seemed gamey enough when I was showing her around, and after she left we had a big debate about her level of gameyness. Got a text from her then the next evening saying that she wouldn’t be taking the room as someone was moving out of her house and she would be moving into a bigger room there and would I like to come over and help her move her stuff. BANG
Arise, Sir Runt you are now formally a legend.