The Gender neutral thread of Faces You'd Love to Smack

And it wasn’t me before ye all start.

Of course. We all know that you’re a big unit.

That tale, probably because of my pal, and some of the things he has done to help me out, and other friends, makes me inordinately angry.
Bishop and a particular slimy cunt of a neighbour further down the street, who accused me last year when I was out playing hurling on the road, of ringing his gate bell and running away are two people who I’d swing for if the circumstances were right. Neither have done anything especially bad, but they both vex me no end and I don’t know why. Next door got broken into a few months ago, and I tried to give chase with a hurl but was wearing only flip flops and pyjama pants, and my flip flop got stuck on the spike on next doors side gate so I missed the little cunts as they were away over the back garden wall by the time I got unstuck. The other fucker meanwhile was leaning over his garden wall and wouldn’t come over to help. The cunt. Did plenty of shouting from a safe distance.

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Time to move home bud.

He could have moved to Howth but he hadn’t the gumption to stand up to the wife when she started insulting it.

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Bishop standing up for his kid against some cranky ould bollix having a power trip giving out to a harmless child and cyclist seems like an alright sort to me.

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I thought you were anti-cyclist?

He had a lucky escape there so.

You’d have him introduced into the golf club and all by now.

‘Fucking do him’ is fair standing up alright.

I’d have had him in the yacht club and the golf links by now. The wife would be in the Ladies Society and the Tidy Towns Committee. I’d have shown him the best hidden beaches for sea swimming, the hill walks, and the best spots for foraging. But no her highness wanted to stay put in sunny Didsbury where they can spend their days watching D list celebs from the north of England and grumbling about them.

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In this case I am very much pro cyclist.

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I think you are very pro shit stirring.

Ah here now if some middled aged mammys boy had a go at one of your kids over nothing, you’d stand back and say nothing?

What would you be foraging for Fagan?

Blackberries, sloes, hazelnuts, wild garlic and rose hips mostly.

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It’s all about tone.
May be a little too nuanced for you.

Meow.

Course not. I’d be dug out of the bastard.

At the risk of being of called a sloe learner what is a sloe?