Funeral etiquette

[Mac]

@KinvarasPassion

As @Ambrose_McNulty mentioned if you have a keen eye andyour wits about you, you will have a fair idea who has come and gone. I stillremember 2 miserable cunts who never showed at my grandfather’s funeral, they never paidthe man for work he did in the 70’s either so I am not surprised.

The book is hand though, there are obviously folk you wouldn’tknow that have come and gone and access to these for future reference is alwayshandy. Be great if you could actually get them to fill out a spreadsheet on theway in even.

I’ve often signed the book but never gone and spoken to the family of the deceased at some funerals. I never quite know what to say and if there’s enough people around I’ll slip away and then make a point of meeting them a few weeks later when everything has died (not intended) down

[glasagusban]

That’s very odd Mac

[Mac]

@glasagusban

That’s very odd Mac

What is odd?

[glasagusban]

To go to a funeral and not slip away without speaking to the family, obviously. I find that very unusual behaviour.

[Fagan_ODowd]

@glasagusban

To go to a funeral and not slip away without speaking to the family, obviously. I find that very unusual behaviour.

@Mac is a bit socially awkward. That’s all. Nothing odd about it.

[Mac]

@Fagan_ODowd

@Mac is a bit socially awkward. That’s all. Nothing odd about it.

Very well put Fagan. I also think that depending on the circumstances that people will appreciate your time or company a few weeks after the event more than at the time of the funeral when everything might be a bit of a blur.

[glasagusban]

That’s possibly true. But then no reason you shouldn’t do both, especially if you’re going to the funeral anyway.

[TreatyStones]

@Mac

Very well put Fagan. I also think that depending on the circumstances that people will appreciate your time or company a few weeks after the event more than at the time of the funeral when everything might be a bit of a blur.

As in you go to the funeral, sign the book of condolences, but don’t actually go into the room to sympathise? That is very odd.

[KinvarasPassion]

Its a tough one alright. Standing here staring at someone for more than a minute sometimes as some ould biddy is holdng up the queue.

But I think you need to overcome this @Mac, stand your ground, practice your solemn face. You’ll get through it.

[Bad_Winner]

Incredibly odd.
The mourners will spot a weak effort a mile away. Firm handshake, a nod and a whisper of a condolence is how to go.
If you are a personal friend of the deceased an extra touch is not unwelcome

[TreatyStones]

@Bad_Winner

If you are a personal friend of the deceased an extra touch is not unwelcome

This it where the double handed shake comes into play once you get to the immediate familty member you know best.

[flattythehurdler]

It could link to a barcode on the coffin. Quick scan, job done

[KinvarasPassion]

I have been hugged by a few female mourners. You’ll have that I suppose.

[Fagan_ODowd]

@Mac is doing the right thing in certain situations. There are occasions, such as huge funerals where it is perfectly acceptable to sign the book and not try to barge up to the mourners to deliver the handshake or other occasions where the mourners are so distraught that the last thing they need is the local half wit barging his way through a throng to deliver a platitude, that could be saved for later when everyone is on a more level emotional keel.

[Julio_Geordio]

@Fagan_ODowd

@Mac is doing the right thing in certain situations. There are occasions, such as huge funerals where it is perfectly acceptable to sign the book and not try to barge up to the mourners to deliver the handshake or other occasions where the mourners are so distraught that the last thing they need is the local half wit barging his way through a throng to deliver a platitude, that could be saved for later when everyone is on a more level emotional keel.

Sure why bother going at all?

[KinvarasPassion]

@Fagan_ODowd

the local half wit

thats way out of line mate.

[Fagan_ODowd]

@Julio_Geordio

@Fagan_ODowd

@Mac is doing the right thing in certain situations. There are occasions, such as huge funerals where it is perfectly acceptable to sign the book and not try to barge up to the mourners to deliver the handshake or other occasions where the mourners are so distraught that the last thing they need is the local half wit barging his way through a throng to deliver a platitude, that could be saved for later when everyone is on a more level emotional keel.

Sure why bother going at all?

To let them know you were there for them.

[glasagusban]

@Mac is the regional half wit?

[Spidey]

For funerals I know will be well attended, I’ve taken to arriving 50 minutes after the church time. The man inside is just wrapping up and you can silently slip into the throngs just outside the door. Also leaves you in prime position to be first to deliver the handshake and nod as the hearse is being put in the back of the car.

Preference is to only attend the removal the night before. Only in extreme cases if the family was particularly close would I attend both.

[Bandage]

@Fagan_ODowd

@Mac is doing the right thing in certain situations. There are occasions, such as huge funerals where it is perfectly acceptable to sign the book and not try to barge up to the mourners to deliver the handshake or other occasions where the mourners are so distraught that the last thing they need is the local half wit barging his way through a throng to deliver a platitude, that could be saved for later when everyone is on a more level emotional keel.

But what about the poor bereaved family finally getting back on an even keel and trying to return to some semblance of normality a few weeks later only for a roaster like @Mac to come knocking at their door.