lads
funeral on friday
work colleagues mother passed away RIP
now, for the hard part, when i walk up the church to shake hands with my mate heâll be seated with the âchiefâ mourners up the top,
can i just walk along until i see him to shake hands or do i need to shake hands with the whole shaggin family?
Halfhearted handshake with others along the front row as you are passing, itâs alright to skip someone if the situation presents itself, then a more heartfelt handshake with the work colleague, and if you actually know him well then make it into a double handed handshake.
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Just shake hands with a few and say âSorry for your lossâ until you get to him.
Not point in overthinking it or youâll just end up looking like a gobshite.
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Shake hands with the grieving party and thank them for coming.
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It will all depend on where he is seated.
@mickee321 Some great advice there. Half hearted handshakes with the mourners who you donât know and if a sneaky chance to skip a few presents itself then embrace it. Like if an auld woman is taking too long on one mourner then make a beeline past her. But i would not go with the double handed shake unless you really want to impress this person or know them very well. A firm hand shake should suffice. But not too firm.
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Also there isnât even a need to say anything to people you donât know. Just sigh and nod as you shake their hand.
What do ye think of this for funeral etiquette? I attended a full funeral mass lately, had to take time off work and all, of an old man i knew well and would always stop and talk to if i ran into him somewhere. I had immense respect for this man and it was my honour to attend his funeral. I hadnât been at mass for coming up to two years but togged out for this which is saying something. The priest was personal friends with this man and i actually welled up during the homily when he spoke glowingly of him and told a few funny yarns and then spoke about the dignity with which he dealt with cancer which ultimately finished him off.
Anyway he never married or had any kids. What was left amongst the mourners were brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews. I know one of his sisters to see her and i know one of his nephews to see him. I wouldnât even salute these two and doubt they would know my name. I couldnât pick out any of the rest of his family if they passed me in the street i wouldnât know them. So i didnât bother paying my respects to any of the family given i only knew the deceased. I just took off after the mass ended as a lot of the congregation were making their way to the top to pay their respects. I suppose it would have been the ultimate respect to do it anyway but i felt i had paid respect in my own way.
Would ye have paid respect to the family in this scenario, family ye didnât know? Given he had no wife or kids mind.
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I like to mix the small talk up with the seated strangers - âcondolencesâ, âsympathiesâ, âsorry for your troublesâ, and then back around again. Depends on set up of funeral home but the one I frequent the most (Iâm from the country originally so if someone dies within a one mile radius, you go) has the least significant people at the start so I often just start halfway up as opposed to shaking the hand of some grand nephew down from Kildare. Sometimes a simple nod will do the trick. For men that youâre friendly with, the handshake can be accompanied by an arm on the shoulder, a remark about a recent sporting event, a clap on the back, or an offer to help in any way (âweâre here for youâ) which of course youâll never follow through on. Some womenfolk will insist on a hug as well. Always take 30 seconds to stop and look at the old bugger in the casket and pretend youâre saying a prayer - people will think you genuinely care, even if youâre rushing out the gap to watch the end of a match
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Introduce yourself you ignoramus it takes about 5 seconds.
Look at Mr Billy Big Bollix. Thinking that a grieving family that youâve never met in your life give a flying fuck who you are.
âHi Iâm glasagusban, Iâm in Dublin studying lawâ
You self absorbed cunt.
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Stupid. If youâre there grieving your mother or fathers death, or some other family member, letâs say it was your wife, the last thing you want is some little arsehole youâve never seen holding up the queue and prolonging this any longer by introducing himself. Shake my hand and move along. Nothing needs to be said.
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Having been through a number of family funerals in recent years I disagree. When you are in that line, you want to know who the person shaking your hand is.
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I find that if you wait till the coffin is being loaded into the hearse youâll get plenty chance to single out your colleague and avoid the awkward exchanges with extended family.
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Just make sure heâs not one of the lads carrying to coffin as you try to muscle in and shake his hand.
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Weâll just wait and see which post gets more likes. That is the only true judge.
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Iâd say you played that perfectly. I went to my doctors funeral there about three years ago. Just to pay my private respects to him. The family wouldnât have known me from a hole in the ditch, so I didnât hang around afterwards.
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Thatâs a very poor post. Can you not just say you disagree and leave it at that? You seem to be a very nasty individual.
Youâre an idiot and youâve obviously never been on the other end of that handshake. Iâd expect that type of behaviour from a thick ignorant arsehole like @smark but would have expected a self professed country man would know better. The bereaved family have enough to be dealing with without having some thick ignorant muldoon without the good grace to give them the respect of 5 seconds to introduce himself and his relationship to the deceased or the family shouldering past auld ones to get to the one person he knows who is now also mortified that he has drawn this ignoramus upon his poor family.
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I agree with Glas - it doesnât take but a second to say something respectful and thoughtful. Have been on both sides of proceedings in recent yearsâŚsympathising and receiving sympathies.
E.g. âIâm very sorry for your loss - my name is Iron Moth, I played in a band with Lemmy 30 years ago. He was one of the bestâ. Otherwise, what ends up happening is âwhoâs yer man?â, etc.
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