Funeral etiquette

I live in a place where a local caterer has set up a kitchen in the community centre. The family would have it called out from the alter that there are refreshments in the hall the night of the removal or dinner the day afterwards post burial. The amount of old bachelors who turn up for these is amazing. You’d like to think that it’s out of loneliness and not out of absolute meanness.

Another is local alcos turning up at a grave dig for the free whiskey that would be passed around. Sponging cunts

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Well done. I think it’s a nice mark of respect to dress for it.

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I’d agree re loneliness. It’s definitely a factor.

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There’s a bit of that too. People might take a few hours off work to attend and then nip back to work and not have the time for it

A good friend of mine decided it would be the way to go and he 67 years young, that one it me fairly hard

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I know a nice few lads who just go to funerals for the dinner and they have families at home. Savage meanness.

My aul lad always thought this. To a fault.

Thanks pal. Your advice is rarely wrong.

Glad you did the right thing, bucko

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Down at home, dinners after funerals aren’t usually open to everyone. A member of the family would go around to a few people after the burial and ask/demand that they come along. Usually close neighbours/friends/relations and in particular people who travelled far to get there.

I’ve been that member of the family on a few occasions. Sometimes hangers on will come along and you would think that they could easily excuse themselves from not attending but that’s just the way it is.

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Yep. I’ve been to ones where it’s a three course meal in a hotel and it’s very much invite only, but you’ll always get a few in the door who certainly weren’t asked. The ones back at pubs/ function rooms are open to all.

I was at a funeral a while back, wake from the house job, this fella was there ating sandwiches and drinking whiskey to bate the band. Barely known to the deceased or any member of the family, a neighbor had to shame him into leaving for a finish “jaysus you must be on your third plate of sandwiches and second bottle of whiskey at this stage” he headed away shortly afterwards. Renowned for it in the locality apparently

I was at my uncles funeral in Clonmel I suppose 5 years ago. Anyway went to the grave for the burial and then went back to the hotel for the lunch. Every skiver in the town was there tucking in and there was no room for family members to sit.

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I had a bunch of family wakes over the last seven years. I don’t think we had any shorts, maybe a few cans if needed. I don’t think they were touched much. Drink driving ain’t like it used to be.

Same happened us. We had the dinners ordered but a good few boyos arrived on. Knew where to sit to be first served, and there was nothing left for my three aunts from England by the time the food was all gone. They left to get a chinese after, said it was ok, but I knew they were raging. My father was the last of that era to go so we haven’t seen them since. You couldn’t be up to them as they say.

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Depends on the house I suppose. Some people would be insulted if you went out the door without a whiskey to toast the deceased. Although it’s more and more from funeral homes these days which avoids that issue

That’s shocking.

You’d want a different level of neck altogether to do that

We were naive. You don’t bury a parent every day. But these boys are at it all the time.

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It’s amazing how quickly you become an expert after a few of them.

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