GAA Mavericks

Sport
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Times

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Cheers.

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Don’t really buy into the Kilkenny being boring thing. Its just something other counties want to believe because they are so much better than everyone else

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Correct.

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Picklington at the Picnic

Kilkenny hurling legend enjoys an unusual first weekend in September

By Canice Picklington, irishtimes.ie Electric Picnic Hub, September 4th, 2016

Well, what a strange All-Ireland hurling final weekend for me. Usually on the first weekend in September, since 1999 at any rate, I’ve been as quiet as a mouse at home, trying to get my head right to play in another final - except for the years when the final wasn’t on the first Sunday of September, which actually would have been quite frequently, I suppose, come to think of it now.

But this year has been totally different. I’m just another punter now, just the same as any other man in the street, hoping Kilkenny can do it again. The scramble for tickets this year has been the worst I’ve ever seen - they’re like gold dust. Kilkenny and Tipp is the final the whole country wants. We never get sick of playing Tipp in a final and I know the rest of the country feels the same - it’s the clash everybody wants to see.

So obviously I can’t wait for the match, but the build up this year has been a bit different for me. So I was delighted to whet my appetite for the final in an unusual way by going to the Electric Picnic music festival for the first time ever. I suppose I’m a philosophical sort of a fella - my attitude would be that this would have been the type of thing I missed out on when I was playing, so it’s nice to get the chance to go to it now.

Music has always been in the family, I suppose. My uncle Tommy would have been big into the music in his day - he spent years playing records at dances in local parish halls back in the 60s and 70s. This was before the era of nightclubs! My cousin Richie Mullooly reared me on stories of the legendary “Trip to Tipp” - but sadly the only Féile I was taking part in in the early 90s was the All-Ireland under-14 competition.

Kilkenny has a very vibrant music scene, it always has had - I’ve seen the likes of Bob Dillon and Bruce Springsteen inside in the Park over the years, while bands like Engine Alley, My Little Funhouse and Kerbdog would have been fierce popular back in the 90’s and of course we always used to joke with DJ that the Chemical Brothers song “Superstar DJ” was about him. So I suppose it’s ironic that my good friend Cormac Battle from Radio 2, who’s from Kilkenny of course, asked me if I’d be interested in DJ-ing at the Picnic itself as part of the “Other Voices” line-up.

I was surprised when asked but excited at the opportunity too, and it’s always nice to help out a friend. I would have dug out the old CD collection and played a few albums on the old portable radio the other night to get myself in the mood for it. It reminded me of those bus journeys to big matches when I’d listen to the walkman and lose myself in the music to prepare myself mentally for a game. I remember before the 2006 All-Ireland final, I was listening to Maniac 2000, a particular favourite of mine, on the bus to psyche myself up. As I listened to it, I was deep in concentration visualising how I’d be first to every ball and how I was going to bury every Cork defender with crunching shoulders, when I suddenly got a tap on my shoulder from our bus driver JJ. Without me knowing it, the bus had pulled in under the Hogan Stand and all the rest of the team were already off and getting their gear out of the luggage compartment! Just as well JJ didn’t drive off with me still on board or Cody might have thought nerves had got the better of me and I’d deserted the team! I’d have never played for Kilkenny again!

So I suppose what I’m trying to say is that the music has always been important to me and I hope that came across in my DJ set today, which I think went very well, but more of that later.

Stradbally isn’t too far up the road from me so it’s convenient but I decided to get into the spirit of the occasion by camping out in a tent at least for the Friday. Myself and my younger cousins Jordan, Evie, Adam and LaTeisha arrived on Friday morning and the atmosphere was great. It’s always nice to see young people enjoying themselves. As we were always told in St. Kieran’s “mol an óige agus tiocfaidh siad”.

We saw a bit of the Chemical Brothers and they were very good altogether. As I said earlier I’m a big fan of their song “Superstar DJ” for obvious reasons! In terms of hurling, while it might be a case of there being a “Setting Sun” on my own inter-county career, we in Kilkenny will be very happy to “Let Forever Be” in terms of winning All-Irelands, and hopefully Tipp will be on the wrong end of another one of those block rockin’ Kilkenny beats today.

The atmosphere in the campsite was very good, a few leisurely cans were had, there were a few people from Tipp there and we would have had the craic about the match on Sunday. Strangely enough eggs were the supper of choice for a lot of people - I was asked did I want a few yolks but I was happy out after a burger and chips and wasn’t hungry. I could hear quite a lot of moaning from other tents which I presume was down to the discomfort of the sleeping conditions, but happily I would have had no complaints on that score and slept very well.

I was first up on the Saturday morning for my big set in the “Other Voices” tent and I must admit I was more nervous before it than I was before any All-Ireland. After Friday’s good weather, the next morning’s downpour saw conditions around the venue in general resemble the pitch for an away Welsh Cup game in Birr in January, so I suppose it was nice to be inside. I got a very good reception as I opened my set and I’d like to think people appreciated my choice of music.

Opening with a bit of progressive house from Leftfield (left half forward was always my favourite position), I mixed in a bit of speed garage and drum and bass before closing it out with a bit of classic old school Detroit Techno, so I’d like to think there was something there for everyone, and I hope everybody enjoyed it, that’s the main thing. Certainly I’ll be winding up DJ about who’s the real DJ if I see him tomorrow!

I don’t think I’ll be making the music a regular thing but it was nice to dip my toes into it and get my feet wet, as it were, which I suppose is an appropriate metaphor given the weather yesterday, and thanks again to Cormac for that.

Fresh from my stint on the decks, I joined the Newstalk Off the Ball panel to discuss a bit of hurling as well as the music. Ian Broudie from the Lightning Seeds was on the panel and I had a laugh and a joke with him about how he should change his “Football’s Coming Home” song to “Hurling’s Coming Home”. I think he appreciated the joke. By this stage I felt I was living “The Life of Reilly” - a very enjoyable afternoon altogether - it really was living, not existing, as they say in music circles.

I would have been in a great mood then for the rest of the day and myself and the cousins took in a few very interesting talks in the Science and Food tents - being an employee of Glanbia and a part-time evening student of Agricultural Financial Management at WIT, food is something that’s very close to my heart - usually in my stomach, to be precise.

We stayed around for Liam Gallagher later on of course - he’s very good - he’s a very good songwriter and he’s very funny. I like Wonderwall in particular.

Still, as George Harrison says, all things must pass and Croke Park today was calling, so before long it was time to head home and get some much needed sleep before heading up to Dublin for today’s big match.

As for whether Kilkenny can win another three in a row, well, I’ll say one thing - definitely maybe. Alright, Kilkenny to win. But it’ll be no picnic - that’s for sure.

While I’ll be obviously be in Croke Park today, a part of me will be sorry to miss the last day of the music. New Order are playing and unfortunately I’ll miss that. I just hope that in the hurling, we won’t have to talk about a new order too.

Canice Picklington was in conversation with Jim Carroll

Editor’s Note:
The following mistakes occurred in the piece and will be corrected when I can can get some work experience student to get their arse out of bed on a Sunday morning to correct them, because I’m not fucking doing it - Ed.

The Chemical Brothers song that Canice Picklington erroneously refers to as “Superstar DJ” is in fact called “Hey Boy, Hey Girl”.

“Bob Dillon” should read “Bob Dylan”.

The song “The Life of Riley” is erroneously spelt as “The Life of Reilly”.

Liam Gallagher did not play at the Electric Picnic. This should have read “Noel Gallagher”.

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I shared with a couple of Muckalee lads one year in college.
I would believe any kind of lunacy that is claimed for the place.

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The antithesis of Canice Picklington .

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a real life “banterist” no doubt

Br Damien Brennan dropped and recalled him four times between February and June 2006 for a variety of reasons when at the helm of the Kilkenny minors with one famous story of him arriving back on the waiting team bus in Durrow - after a match with Laois - with curry chips and a battered sausage from The Copper Kettle behind his back. It caused uproar after the team dinner and when his offer to throw them into the bin was declined, he “didn’t know whether to laugh or cry” as he sat up at the front and finished his meal as punishment.
A couple of years later he travelled from Cork, where he won Fitzgibbon Cup honours in 2009, to Dublin’s Phoenix Park to attend an Arcade Fire gig and could be seen hopping a sliotar through O’Connell Street before depositing his favourite hurley in a bush and collecting it on the return home.

His nomadic third-level years, which saw him hop-scotch through four different qualifications in UCC (Politics), Queen’s (Master’s in Leadership for Sustainable Development), Waterford IT (Master’s International Business) and UL (Business Teaching Dip) would make Jim McGuinness proud.

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He sounds like a painful cunt. Kildare are welcome to him. In fact they’ll be well matched.

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RED HAND SPICE

Sean Spicer appointed as new Tyrone GAA Press Secretary

by Damian Gormless, The Cookstown Sizzle, July 22nd, 2017

Tyrone have shocked both the GAA and political worlds with the appointment of Sean Spicer as the county’s new official Press Secretary.

In a stunning coup for the Ulster champions, Spicer, who resigned as White House Press Secretary only yesterday, was unveiled at a press briefing at the county’s Garvaghey Centre of Excellence this evening.

Furiously chewing on five sticks of chewing gum, Spicer explained his reasons for the unexpected move.

“I love Tyrone and I love Coach Harte, and that’s why I’ve decided to come here” said Spicer. “‘Tyrone Power!’, as I say!”

“I’m a Republican to the core, and there’s nowhere more Republican than Tyrone. I love red states, and there’s nowhere more red state than Tyrone – it’s the Red Hand state.”

“I love guns, and Republicans in Tyrone love guns too. They hate the government. I hate big government. The people are God-fearing and religious. So am I. The story about the team saying the rosary before each game persuaded me that this is the place I want to be. ”

Spicer says he fully supports the existing policy of Mickey Harte not to talk to RTE. For the rest of Tyrone’s involvement in the championship, he will hold a daily press briefing to counter what he sees as the “fake news media” of RTE.

“Coach Harte is a great man. He’s religious, God-fearing, supports wealth creators like Sean Quinn and I love his anti-abortion stance.”

“We will not talk to RTE. They are FAKE NEWS. For the last six years they have engaged in a witch hunt against Tyrone and especially against our beloved Coach Harte. Their ratings are falling. Nobody cares about their lies. It’s sad!”

Spicer will write a weekly column for the Tyrone GAA website entitled “A View From The Bushes”, echoing his infamous midnight press briefing in the grounds of the White House.

The former White House Press Secretary was impressed by his whistle stop tour around the county this morning and afternoon.

“I dig Coalisland. I love the people. I got to see where Game of Thrones is filmed – man I love that show. The Ulster-American folk park took me back to my roots. They love their country music here too, just like back home. So it feels like home here in the old country. I can’t wait to see Philomena Begley play live.”

He has also been familiarising himself with the team he will be representing.

“I saw a video of the Ulster final. It was totally awesome. Coach Harte’s team made Tyrone great again. And what a crowd – it was the biggest crowd ever for a Gaelic football match.”

When told that the 32,000 people in attendance at Clones last Sunday was a full 58,000 less than the 90,000 that were present for the 1961 All-Ireland football final between Down and Offaly, Spicer was unrepentant.

“It was the biggest crowd for a Gaelic football match EVER. Period. Just look at the photographs.”

The team’s fashion sense also appeals to Spicer.

“The team colours of all-white are just beautiful. All-white is the way it should stay. Tyrone should never go back to red shorts.”

“I love the team’s history too. The boys from the Bushes repeatedly taking down Kerry in the 2000s – just like the 2004 US presidential election.”

When one Armagh-based reporter joked to Spicer that the 2008 All-Ireland final featured a group of bearded men taking down the “Twin Towers” in September, Spicer was unamused and briefly stormed out before being presuaded to return by Garvaghey tea lady Nuala O’Hoop.

After six months of service to Uncle Sam, Spicer is now hot on the chase of another Sam.

“I’ve just come from the White House, but the goal is to end up back in the other White House when we meet President Higgins with the Sam Maguire Trophy.”

As part of the deal to bring Donald Trump’s former press secretary to Tyrone, the team’s shirt sponsors will change from “McAleer and Rushe” to “McAleer and Russia”.

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I read about 5 words. Ffs sake @Sidney utter shite

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You make a judgement on the entire piece yet you say you only read five words :laughing:

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Cringe

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Yes I did. Having read many of your efforts of times past I realised that I’d be better off scratching my balls or just staring into space for a few minutes. I promise not to be angry about the milliseconds that those 5 words cost me though.

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Deary me :laughing:

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Galway hurling heroes reflect on All-Ireland success

by Iggy Conneely
“Sports Column”, page 91, Galway Freesheet, September 7th, 2017

Well, what a week it’s been for Galway hurling. The Liam McCarthy cup has returned to the west after a gap of 29 years following a memorable final success against Waterford, and the celebrations have been in full swing ever since the final whistle at Croke Park on Sunday.

The Freesheet caught up with two of Galway’s heroes, talismanic forward Joe Canning and the no nonsense, straight talking Johnny Irishman, who has returned from New York this summer to play a key peripheral role in the team’s All-Ireland success.

Iggy: Lads, tell us all about the celebrations:

Joe: It’s still sinking in, I suppose. But, yeah, there was a just a real feeling of satisfaction and contentment. To see the joy on the faces on the Galway supporters was amazing.

It’s been an amazing year, really. There’s been a great atmosphere in the camp all through. Everybody has pulled together so well. There’s just a real feeling of camaraderie between us all, there’s a great bond between everybody. Micheal Donoghue, the management team and all the support staff have been brilliant. Everybody has played their part, every single person involved in this has played a vital role. The panel members who didn’t make the 26 on Sunday are all responsible for this as much as anybody – we couldn’t have done it without them.

Johnny: I fuckin’ dhrank 15 fuckin’ pintsh and shlept in me own fuckin’ puke. Then I got up the nexsht mornin’, had breakfisht, and dhrank another eight pintsh. Everything elshe is fuckin’ bullshit.

Iggy: What did you have for breakfast, Johnny?

Johnny: A big fry up an’ 'a ball ‘a me own fuckin’ shnot.

Iggy: The atmosphere must have been amazing when you brought the cup home?

Joe: Yeah, it was. As you probably saw on the television, Michael Donoghue’s father Miko was waiting for us to arrive in Ballinasloe, and it was a lovely, poignant moment to see Micheal to be able to bring the McCarthy cup back to him. It epitomised what the GAA is really all about – family and community.

There were huge crowds in Ballinasloe and then of course when we got back to Galway, to see the crowds that turned up in Pearse Stadium, especially to see the joy on the faces of the kids, it was amazing. We’re just so pleased to have won it for everybody because the people of Galway have been waiting such a long time for success, and we’re just glad we were able to bring it to them this year. The supporters have always stuck with the team and they’re the best in Ireland.

Johnny: I shpent the bus journey fuckin’ pukin’ up in the fuckin’ jacksh. It was fuckin’ claassh. Then I kicked the cup around the fuckin’ car park, roarin’ and shoutin’. That’s why you play hurlin’, like, to do shtuff like that.

Iggy: Tell us about the match itself, lads.

Joe: I suppose it was all about bringing controlled aggression. We knew we’d have to put in a massive performance for the full 70 minutes. But we knew we had to keep out heads all through. It was very important to get a good start and we did that. But Waterford were never going to lie down, they’re too good a team to do that, and they came right back at us, as we knew they would. The lads responded very well to the goals. At half-time there was a very positive attitude in the dressing room. We knew we were playing well. But at the same time we were only a point up, so we knew we’d have to put in the performance of our lives in the second half to win it. When Waterford went a point up, we knew we had to dig in and redouble our efforts, keep bringing that controlled aggression but to be calm and stick to the process, and thankfully it worked out.

I suppose maybe in the end what won it for us was that bit of experience of All-Ireland finals that maybe some of the Waterford players didn’t have. We had to lose two to win one. But that’s how difficult it is to win an All-Ireland. I think that experience stood to us a lot.

Johnny: We jusht shaid to go out and fuckin’ kill the cunts. Get the fuckin’ ball and leather it as far as posshible. Then I’d catch it and fuckin’ bursht everyone outta the way. If they want to wreshtle, I’d shaid I’d wreshtle. If they wanted to box the head off of me, I shaid I’d boxh the head off of them. If they wanted to puck the head off of me with a hurl, I’d puck the head off of them with a hurl. Give the cunts plenty of it, like. Look it, they want to fuckin’ kill you, so you have to fuckin’ kill them firsht.

Look it, sure Johnny Irishman ishn’t goin’ ta shcore ten points but I’ll fuckin’ work me hole off and make sure none of their lads do either. Everything elshe is a hape 'a shite.

But, happy enough to have won it, like.

Iggy: Waterford were difficult opponents for you…

Joe: Yeah, they’re a great team and they made it hugely difficult for us as we knew they would. They never gave up and we had to be at our best for the 70 minutes. They’re a young, up and coming team, they’re only going to get better. We have a great respect for them and we know they’ll be back. I don’t think it’ll be too long before they win the All-Ireland themselves and if Galway can’t can’t win it in future years, it’d be nice to see them do it. We know that while we had been waiting 29 years for an All-Ireland they’ve been waiting 58 years so we know that they must be feeling a huge amount of hurt. They were tremendously gracious in defeat which is the mark of true sportsmen. Derek McGrath is doing a great job with them and they have so many great players. They’ll be back, there’s no doubt about that.

Johnny: That’s fuckin’ bullshit. Fuck the fuckin’ Wexford cunts. They’re only ‘a shower of cunts, eshpecially that fuckin’ shlaphead bollox McGrath. Fuck everyone elshe. Where the fuck is Wexford, anyway?

Iggy: The very sad death of Galway legend Tony Keady was uppermost in everybody’s thoughts in the run up to this final. Was there a feeling amoongst the team that you wanted to win it to honour his memory?

Joe: Yeah, I suppose we didn’t want want to say it explicitly but there’s no doubt it was very much a factor in everybody’s mind even if nobody wanted to say it outright that we had to win for him. I suppose it wasn’t so much that we felt that we had to win it for him, as at the end of the day it’s only sport, but we really wanted to do justice to his memory putting in the best very performance we possibly could, and if that was good enough to win, well that’s all we could have asked for. And, touch wood, it worked out. But now that we’ve won it, there’s no doubt that we’re just glad that we might hopefully have given Tony’s family some solace and strength at a terribly difficult time for them. Of course the reality is that no All-Ireland can bring Tony back and we’re very mindful of that. But we’re glad to have done justice to his memory and it was great to have the Keady family on the pitch afterwards to share in the moment. They have a long road ahead of them in dealing with this tragedy, and they will always be welcome around this squad. We’re just happy that hopefully we’ve given them something to smile about at such a sad time. There was a real feeling that Tony was up there looking down and smiling on us somehow, as there also was with Niall Donohue, who played for us in the 2012 finals and who we still miss and think about a lot. So, yes, we’re glad to have justice to the memory of both with our performance.

Johnny: I’d shay his wife got the ride at the banquet, he he. Fair fuckin’ play to her. She’s a fine lookin’ woman for her age. I’d have no fuckin’ problem throwin’ a length into her and ridin’ the hole off of her. I’d say she’d hand it back to ya shoft, like.

Iggy: What are the plans now for the rest of the week?

Joe: Well, we’re really looking forward to bringing the McCarthy cup around the county now because this victory is for the people of Galway and we want as many people to be able to share in it as possible. We’ll be heading to David Burke’s home place in Peterswell tonight and then to Gort and Loughrea and Portumna over the coming days. Then of course over the coming weeks and months we’ll be visiting all the schools which is one of the great things when a county wins an All-Ireland. We’d like as many people as possible to feel part of this, as that’s what the GAA is all about.

Johnny: (pukes slightly) I haven’t a fuckin’ clue what’s happenin’ tonight, never mind tomorrow. We’re only shtartin the dhrinkin’, like. Burkey, where’sh me fuckin’ pint? I probably look like a big fuckin’ shlob now, but I don’t fuckin’ care.

Iggy: Will you be heading back to New York, Johnny?

Johnny: I will in me fuckin’ hole. Ah, shure look it, I probably will, but shure tish’ only a couple of hoursh on a plane, like, tish’ not like I’m goin’ to fuckin’ Timbuk-fuckin-tu. I’ll go back when I go back. But shure I’ll only be shtartin’ the dhrinkin’ when I get back there. I’ll have some fuckin’ hangover in January. But I’ll fuckin’ worry about that when fuckin’ January comes, like.

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Cringe^n

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