Il Bomber Destro TV Programme Ideas

I forgot to post this one a few weeks ago.

“Chasing Coffins”

A new sitcom mini-series based on the populist Kealy-Fay family political dynasty who spend their time scouring the death notices and attending all manner of death and funeral related events in order to win votes come election time.

Watch as they get up to all manner of crazy (and profitable) antics as they place themselves at the centre of life and death in a county.

Episode 1: “Sorry For Your Trouble”

Episode 2: “Wake Up”

Episode 3: “'It Comes To Us All”

Episode 4: “I Knew Him Well”

Episode 5: “Did He Leave A Will?”

Starring:
Davy Fitzgerald as Mickey Kealy-Fay
Conor McGregor as Hammy Kealy-Fay
Niamh De Brun-Reid as the secretary
Sean Quinn’s wife as Nuala Kealy-Fay

2 Likes

“Bonfire Idol”
On GB News

A reality television show where a panel of experts runs the rule over a host of people and entities and offensive slogans to decide who or which would be the best to put on top of the Moygashel bonfire.

In the end they choose all the possible candidates.

Presented by Jim McDonald formerly of Coronation Street

Panel members:
Jamie Bryson
“Citizen journalist” Philip Dwyer
Ian O’Doherty
Tommy Robinson
One of the surviving Shankill Butchers
The Israeli ambassador

Handbags and Jizz Rags

Presented by Maria MAGA Steen

A programme which blends shopping trips to the world’s most expensive department stores to buy the world’s most expensive handbags with fire and brimstone Christian fundamentalist preaching on the evils of masturbation and fornication (apart from when it’s rape, where the woman is always to blame).

In episode 1 our presenter buys three Chanel handbags at Harrod’s with barely enough change out of £100k for a coffee afterwards, before heading across the road to Speaker’s Corner to conduct a ceremonial funeral for a soiled wad of Andrex toilet tissue.

The Infantinos

A new heavyweight drama series on HBO set in New Jersey.

Johnny Infantino is the leader of a Mafia crime “family” called Mafifa. His business is the extortion of the game of association football worldwide. And drugs, and cryptocurrency fraud, and prostitution and human trafficking.

He collaborates with every despotic regime under the sun in order to become the biggest underworld figure on earth.

But he is never happier than when he is at home with his buddies in New Jersey.

The intro of the show sees Johnny Infantino driving an SUV while smoking a cigar. He has a gruff look on his face. He emerges from the Lincoln Tunnel and we see the New York skyline off to the side including a close up of the two towers of the World Trade Centre, with a plane crashing into one of them. Then we see Johnny taking a ticket at the toll booth for the New Jersey Turnpike and driving through the industrial wasteland of New Jersey before he reaches his destination, MetLife Stadium, the venue for the 2026 World Cup final. The theme music is “Woke Up This Morning” by Alabama 3.

Johnny’s catchphrase is “I’m a legitimate businessman”

The climax of series sees Johnny attending the World Cup final in New Jersey between Brazil and Italy, where he attempts to close a deal with another major mafia figure Don Trumpo. But trouble is afoot. Will he survive?

Cast:
Gianni Infantino as Johnny Infantino
Donald Trump as Don Trumpo
Donald Trump Junior as Christopher Monkeyspanky
Marjorie Taylor Green as Carmela Infantino
Carlo Ancelotti as Carlo Ancelotti and Phil Leonardo
Luciano Spalletti as “Lucky Luciano” Spaghetti
Erin McGregor as Adriana LaCervix
Brendan O’Carroll as Junior Infantino
Sepp Blatter as Big Pussy
Melania Trump as Irina the Stripper
John Delaney as “Irish Johnny”
Andrew Tate as The Pimp
Conor McGregor as The Hoover
Nancy Pelosi as Livia Infantino
Rachel Moiselle as Meadow Infantino

1 Like

Progress Oatlets

A sitcom set in Mountjoy Prison

Two prisoners share a cell. One is a disgraced former hurling star who lied that he had cancer to con numerous unsuspecting citizens out of hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of euro.

The other is a religious zealot who has camped outside the school he has been banned from teaching at, racking up fines of hundreds of thousands of euro.

The sitcom consists of long chats between the two as they sit overlooking the Royal Canal.

In Episode 1 the conman teaches the zealot how to play hurling.

In Episode 2 the zealot teaches the conman how to become a more effective conman when he gets of prison.

In Episode 3 the two discuss their families.

In Episode 4 the conman looks out through the prison bars at the big stadium nearby and reminisces.

In Episode 5 the two discuss whether God exists.

In Episode 6 both men are released.

In Series 2 we follow the respective prisoners’ PATHS TO FREEDOM.

Starring:
PJ Gallagher as PJ Carey
Paul Kinnerk as Elon Berg
Pat Ryan as The Guard

1 Like

Everybody Hates Johnny

A Larry Sanders Show-style satire of FIFA President Gianni “Johnny” Infantino.

In the show, Infantino has devised and produced a new self-glorifying sitcom for the American market called “Everybody Loves Johnny”. “Everybody Loves Johnny” culminates in Donald Trump presenting the second FIFA Peace Prize to Johnny Infantino.

“Everybody Loves Johnny” is savaged by world media. “The worst television programme ever made”, says the New York Times. “Worse than Heil Honey I’m Home”, says The Guardian. “Worse than Leave It To Mrs. O’Brien”, says the Irish Times.

Everybody Hates Johnny follows Infantino during the making and broadcasting of his sitcom and his enraged reaction to the negative critical reception and his enlisting of powerful geopolitical allies to punish the media organisations which criticised it.

Cast:
Stephen Donnelly as Gianni “Johnny” Infantino
Ian O’Doherty as Donald Trump
Mohammed Salah as Mohammed Bin Salman
An AI ape as Conor McGregor
Gavin Henson as Andrew Tate
Christian Karembeu as Christian Karembeu
Rio Ferdinand as Rio Ferdinand
Iker Casillas as Iker Casillas
@Barname as Twitter user @ILOVEJOHNNY1488

“Politics has no place in the Arts - except if the politics is pro-Trump, in which case that’s fine”

A 58 minute documentary for Disney written and presented by Ricky Gervais

“Embarrasingly shit” - WIRED magazine
“Ahistorical nonsense” - The Guardian
“Pathetic” - Empire

“So good” - Newsmax
“Brilliant” - Graham Linehan
“LEGEND - He has those woke cunts frothing at the mouth” - a poster on an obscure Irish internet forum

Gazzetta Rugby Italia

A new Italian rugby magazine show to be broadcast on Channel 4. Each week presenter James Richardson brings us all the news from the fanatical rugby hotbed of Italy, where rugby isn’t just a matter of life and death, it’s much more important than that.

The programme is centred around presenter James sitting in an Italian piazza with an oversized mug of some kind of coffee and/or ice cream on a table in front of him, as he peruses the Italian newspapers like La Gazzetta Dello Sport and the Corriere Della Sera and their obsession with Treviso, Zebre and the beloved national team, the Azzurri.

Then each Sunday there’s a live match with commentary by Ryle Nugent and featuring guest English language pundits who are familiar with the Italian scene like Lawrence Dallaglio, David Campese and Conor O’Shea and Italian legends like Sergio Parisse, Diego Dominguez and Mauro Bergamasco.

Room To Disimprove

A group of architects led by Dermot Bannon spends a winter visiting different sporting organisations to design new competition formats for each of them.

Bannon pitches an idea to each sporting organisation for rules changes to their sports and new competition formats based on a high profile architecture plan. Then he makes the plan more elaborate, more labyrinthine and more expensive.

For instance, Bannon’s pitch to the GAA is based on the recently approved plan to demolish and re-build the St. Stephen’s Green Shopping Centre.

The new GAA format features a basement (a revamped Taliban Cup), shopping on the ground floor (a transfer market) and mixed use development (nobody knows what that means but it definitely involves the league being part of the championship). There’s an extension (featuring two back doors and a fire escape) and a multi-level mezzanine (group stages).

Each sporting organisation will be expected to engage extensively with the media to trumpet the benefits of each new plan, even if it’s horrifically ugly, which it will be. Conor Glass is expected to be a spokesman for the new Bannon-designed format, as Bannon has few ideas other than having as much glass as possible.

Martin O’Neill the new favourite to win this year’s edition.

1 Like

One Man And His Dog

A period portrait short screen drama to be shown on RTE 2 at 1:15am after the coverage of the 11pm World Cup match has ended but before RTE pick up the world feed commentary for the 2am World Cup match at 1:52am.

It is Dublin in 1957. Rashers Plunkett is a 58 year old man living on his own in a house in The Liberties. He has one companion - his dog, Spot, a border collie who Rashers took in as a stray in 1943.

Our period drama follows Rashers and Spot’s life. Rashers takes his faithful companion Spot everywhere. He takes him to his job as a caretaker at a local primary school, he takes him to the shop to get the newspaper, he takes him to Richmond Park to see St. Pat’s, he takes him on the train to Bray, he takes him to the local pub, where he allows Spot to take a slug of his pint of plain. Rashers will always make two dinners of coddle. One for himself, and another for Spot.

Then Spot dies, and Rashers is sad. Our period drama ends with Rashers still going to the pub, but struggling without his companion.

Starring:
Keith Treacy as Rashers Plunkett
Carrie Crowley as Mrs. Byrne
Eamon Morrissey as Mr. O’Brien
Rover as Spot

1 Like

Bill Cullen as 40 Coats.
Eamon Mac ThomĂĄis as Bang Bang

Down For The Match

An RTE television special broadcast at 12:30am on RTE News Now the night before the Translink Cup Final.

SĂ­le Seoige and Sean Moncrieff present the show live from the insulated freight container in the Montrose car park normally used by John Kenny and Stuey Byrne to commentate on the 11pm World Cup match.

Guests this year include the fella who fell off a bonfire in Newtownards in 2023, Catherine Nevin, the drummer from the band Ash, and Terry Killeen from Glenroe.

Other features during the programme include episodes of Only Fools And Horses and The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin, the camp nostalgia fest “Perfidia”, impersonations of Ulster Gaelic football managers by new comedy ensemble “Tar Éis Cluiche” and lots of double entendre jokes.

1 Like

Countdown island

You hold rehearsals, practices, everything for love island. Pick the people on how they’d go on that show, the usual.

And then BANG. Put them on countdown instead

4 Likes

‘Who’s Tír is it anyway’. New asylum seekers get to go one on one against a member of our beloved far right. Basically, an asylum seeker and a member of the hotel-burning-oughterard-Coolock’s-got-cans brigade spend six weeks in the gaeltacht together learning irish and exploring their cultural differences. And the kicker? At the end of the 6 weeks they do an irish oral exam and the one with the best irish gets to stay here while the other gets deported…
I know who my money is on…

1 Like