In The Year 2018

Teddy Bjarnasson will have been named European Footballer Of the Year
Football attendances across Britain will have fallen sharply
There will be an All Irish Football League
Fianna Fail’s popularity will be in and around 35%
‘PS I Love You Three’ will be hitting cinema screens across the country

What’s with the Bjarnasson adulation Larry? Good player but out of the current crop of Celtic players I’d say only McGeady will be a European/World player of the year.

Also in 2018…
U2 will be releasing a bland studio album that goes straight to number one.
Work on the metro to the airport will be expected to commence in the next 3 years.
Shamrock Rovers will be in court trying to get their ground in Tallaght back from SDCC.
Rocko will be hanging up his astro boots at the end of the season.
Wexford will fancy their chances that this might be their year to end Kilkenny’s 14-in-a-row Leinster title run.
P.S. I Raped You will be released straight to DVD

Everyone will either be 10 years older or dead.
TFK will have have its own tv channel.
John Delaney will be Taoiseach

The country formerly known as Ireland is now but a series of islands, the lowlands have been flooded out due to rapidly rising sea levels.

The few survivors are ravaged with disease and hunger as new viruses and infections are spread across the globe because of the increasing air temperature.

[quote=“therock67”]
P.S. I Raped You will be released straight to DVD[/quote]

Applauded you for that

The Irish Examiner actually had four pages dedicated to this very topic in last Saturday’s Weekend magazine. Made for some very humorous reading I must say.

My prediction:

By 2018 the worlds oil resources will have totally depleated and the planet will be depending on the two degrees increase in temperature for solar power!

[quote=“BenShermin”]The Irish Examiner actually had four pages dedicated to this very topic in last Saturday’s Weekend magazine. Made for some very humorous reading I must say.

My prediction:

By 2018 the worlds oil resources will have totally depleated and the planet will be depending on the two degrees increase in temperature for solar power![/quote]

Ya shit stirrer http://www.thefreekick.com/vbforum/images/icons/icon10.gif

[quote=“therock67”]What’s with the Bjarnasson adulation Larry? Good player but out of the current crop of Celtic players I’d say only McGeady will be a European/World player of the year.
[/quote]

McGeady is already a given Rock. Not everybody realises how good Bjarnasson is going to be. How much of him have you seen? Can’t believe you can’t remember that game against Hibs last year where he played. I thought you even put up a video of it. Seem to remember his excellent skill and good shooting that day. Since then I have seen other excellent aspects of his ga,e

Brendan O’Connor will be mourning the death of some random Irish model who recently overdosed in a house party:

'I’m 47-years old now and I struggle to make new friends. To be honest I’m at the age where I think I’m happy with the friends I have and I didn’t need any more. But then I met (insert name here) in Renard’s after the TV Now Awards in February. Myself Ray Shah, Lorraine Keane and Rosanna Davison’s husband got talking to her and we just clicked straight away. I saw her again at The Childline Concert in The Point and she was so excited having witnessed Westlife’s comeback show. I remember thinking how cute and innocent she was in a world full of selfishness and greed. It was then we first got talking properly on our own and I realised how lucky I was to now have her as part of my life. We swapped numbers and began regularly meeting for coffee.

It’s seemed funny to others that she was half my age but we just ‘got’ each other. It was like a connection, a bond, and I don’t think I can explain it. I decided to put forward a proposal to the editor of The Sunday Independent that we’d do a weekly feature on (insert name here) and take photos of her in different places around the city. Dion thought it was a brilliant idea and she was so incredibly excited when we did the first shoot last month in the grounds of The Phoenix Park.

Afterwards we went back to my house and drank coffee and joked around with each other. We were just doing the things that friends do. Now she’s gone and I can’t believe it. The last few days have been like a bad dream. I wonder what would have happened if I had called her that night to invite her out for a drink. Would she have changed her plans? Would she have done things differently? Would she have decided not to take that fatal cocktail of ecstasy, cocaine, champagne, brandy and rum?

I would change anything if I could. But I can’t. I miss you terribly (insert name here) and I know the whole country does too. I haven’t felt this way since Katy French died 11 years ago. I pray that I never feel this way again.’

Quality Bandage. Just hope the Dion part is true - I’d hate to see the job leave the family.

Brilliant stuff Bandage

I’ll be 42 with only 8 years before reaching 50 and my ticket to the European Seniors Tour. At this stage I’ll be at a comfortable 5 handicap, probably around 4.7. These last few shots will go once I sell the business I set up 5 years previously and move myself and the family out onto the mansion in the Algarve. It won’t be easy but I’ll get the kids out as caddies, get Dr. Bob to sort out my head and be off scratch by the age of 46. Then 4 years of honing my golf skills before I blitz the EST by a couple of strong performances in the early tournaments followed by a stroll of a victory at the British Seniors open up in Portrush (Norn Iron at this stage will be the only part of the UK left along with Wales as Scotland became a republic in 2011 with England following them in 2014 following the death of HRHQE2. Prince of Wales Charles becomes King of Wales Charles and since Eire still doesn’t want the cash hungry North, KCIV rules over the Wee country also).
Anyhew, I digress. With an invitation to the US Open 2 weeks after my BSO victory, a 3rd hole sudden death playoff with Tiger Woods ends with, funnily enough, the sudden death of Tiger Woods, struck down with the same condition his Pa had, that and a bullet from the Mob over gambling debts. As one country mourns with the death of the 17 times major winner Woods (he never did beat Nicklaus), another country rejoices at a major winner, the first since Padraig Harrington’s Grand Slam year of 2008. I become a free man of KK city but am arrested on Tax fraud when entering the country at Gowran International Skyport. 2 years in the klink brings us up to 2027 when after winning 17 inter-prison titles, I complete the Seniors Grand slam of winning the British, US, Greenland, USSGPA and United States of Europe Opens in 5 glorious weeks. I retire to the beach resort of Antarctica living off my winnings of 5,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 for my 2027 exertions.

Agreed, well done Bandage!

[quote=“Locke”]I’ll be 42 with only 8 years before reaching 50 and my ticket to the European Seniors Tour. At this stage I’ll be at a comfortable 5 handicap, probably around 4.7. These last few shots will go once I sell the business I set up 5 years previously and move myself and the family out onto the mansion in the Algarve. It won’t be easy but I’ll get the kids out as caddies, get Dr. Bob to sort out my head and be off scratch by the age of 46. Then 4 years of honing my golf skills before I blitz the EST by a couple of strong performances in the early tournaments followed by a stroll of a victory at the British Seniors open up in Portrush (Norn Iron at this stage will be the only part of the UK left along with Wales as Scotland became a republic in 2011 with England following them in 2014 following the death of HRHQE2. Prince of Wales Charles becomes King of Wales Charles and since Eire still doesn’t want the cash hungry North, KCIV rules over the Wee country also).
Anyhew, I digress. With an invitation to the US Open 2 weeks after my BSO victory, a 3rd hole sudden death playoff with Tiger Woods ends with, funnily enough, the sudden death of Tiger Woods, struck down with the same condition his Pa had, that and a bullet from the Mob over gambling debts. As one country mourns with the death of the 17 times major winner Woods (he never did beat Nicklaus), another country rejoices at a major winner, the first since Padraig Harrington’s Grand Slam year of 2008. I become a free man of KK city but am arrested on Tax fraud when entering the country at Gowran International Skyport. 2 years in the klink brings us up to 2027 when after winning 17 inter-prison titles, I complete the Seniors Grand slam of winning the British, US, Greenland, USSGPA and United States of Europe Opens in 5 glorious weeks. I retire to the beach resort of Antarctica living off my winnings of 5,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 for my 2027 exertions.[/quote]

Is that a Senior US Open or a regular US Open? And do you get to keep the prizemoney? It might be nice to share some of it with Tiger’s widow as a gesture of goodwill. God knows she put up with enough from Tiger once the gambling kicked in. I’ll never forget that googletube footage of Woods smacking her over the head with his custom-made Azzurri driver.

All tournaments are on the Seniors Tour and the only thing I shared with Tiger Woods’ widow was a length as my wife was in the South of Portugal at the time of my win and since we were in seperate dialing codes, it was alright to do the dirt.

Serves Woods right for playing in the Seniors’ Tour illegally seeing as he wasn’t even 50 years old when he died. I don’t think he was ever the same player after losing the USPGA play-off to McIlroy in 2013, especially with all his personal problems mounting up. I think his death probably stemmed from all those supplements and injections he was taking and getting to try to make himself white. It probably wasn’t a great idea to draw his inspiration from Michael Jackson in that regard given his nose finally fell off there in 2010.

Hard to believe they were still looking for Maddie in 2026 but fair play to your wife for refusing to give up.

It nearly ended our marriage in 2012 but she loved that little fair haired, Toffee loving, what’s up with your right eye, did your mama do it, where are you Maddie, girl. She found her in 2021 and received a handsome reward that I was able to put towards my jetsetting, sun chasing, golf crazed lifestyle. After finding out she had so much time on her hands, my wife paid Maddie to go “missing” again, thus not being there for my US Seniors open triumph over the now murdered Tiger Woods and the subsequent taking the difficult brown ahead of the easy pink with his missus.

Unfortunately, Ireland’s 5 wicket victory over England in the 3rd test of the ‘Michael Hogan Series’ has been overshadowed by crowd disturbances on the long-on boundary at the Cusack End in Croke Park. In response, ICU officials are considering banning the sale of alcohol inside grounds for the remainder of the 5-test series given the tawdry scenes witnessed yesterday as Ireland forged 2-1 ahead with an emphatic win.

The 4th-test takes commences next Thursday in Semple Stadium, Thurles, with all Ireland supporters hoping that flambuoyant batsman, and home hero, Eoin Kelly, will have shaken off the hamstring strain that has hampered his summer thus far.

Meanwhile, Minister for Sport, Ian Paisley Junior has called on the selectors to include more Ulster-born players in the squad. He’s believed to be referring in particular to the continued controversial exclusion of veteran Bready fast bowler, Boyd Rankin, who lost his place earlier this year to the unpredictable Kilkenny Cricket Club pace man, James Ryall.

This thread has gone very like the Armando Iannucci show Time Trumpet.