The PFA have offered Luis anger management classes which is a splendid gesture. Luis has a good soul and this is to be nurtured not punished. Its time for everyone to move on and allow Luis complete his move to Man City.
Get up the yard you bent cunt your team shouldnt even be in the atrocity league after a certain cup match a while ago
Youāre obsessed man. Let it go.
In fairness, anyone who has ever played Snap Apple at Halloween will know how difficult it is to get a bite In on a moving target. To get a bite in on the target, when the target is moving, and you are moving and falling over is awesome. Iād say this guy mows through the apples at Halloween.
Compared to many team sports, football is a relatively sedate, peaceful run around. Thereās the occasional stamp, the odd over-the-top tackle and the occasional biting. But in comparison to rugby where you can quite literally have your bollocks pulled, your eyes gouged and all manner of other intimate, violent probing conducted by a man the size of blue whale, itās a game of peace and love.
Recently in Aussie rules football, a player bit another playerās testicles and perforated his scrotum. We used to call that foreplay on Teesside in the 1970s. In all male sports there are occasions when acts of violence happen. We donāt want to encourage them but we should understand them when they happen. Itās probably part of our DNA, a hangover from our hunter-gatherer days. We may be drinking lattes, using moisturizer and pretending to like cats in order to impress women but underneath weāre all still animals.
When I saw Mr Suarez lunching on Branislav Ivanovicās arm, like most observers of sense I thought, blimey, you want to go for the Serbianās buttocks, mate. The rump steak on Ivanovic would surely be a large and meaty eat. Plus we could have run a headline which says Suarez Eats Chelsea Bun. And that would have been splendid and appropriately daft.
Can we say this once and very loudly: this whole damn thing doesnāt really matter! It really doesnāt! De-wad your panties now!
No-one died, no blood was drawn, no need for a rabies injection. Move on, nothing to see here, no need for hours of debate.
Everyone should be thanking Suarez. Heās the gift that keeps on giving whether you want to love or hate him. Heās a super-skilful angry, gerbil-like creature that hunts a ball down like a wild animal hunts its quarry. Heās utterly brilliant and great entertainment up to and including the biting habit. We should be grateful.
Incidentally, has biting replaced spitting as āthe worst thing you can do on a pitchā?
Either way, the reaction on Sky to it was predictable. Graeme Souness looked on in the sure knowledge that he had committed many much more bloody, painful acts of violence on a football pitch and Jamie Redknapp shook his head as though the Uruguayan had finally gone and killed someone.
Lighten up folks, does anybody remember laughter?
They were so sombre, so very horrified that they showed it time and again, slowing it down and replaying it as though it was the Kennedy assassination in Oliver Stoneās movie JFK. āback and to the left, back and to the left.ā
They were using it as a form of entertainment while simultaneously shaking their heads and saying how terrible it was. Thatās just plain hypocrisy. You could show it once and move on. Itās not that big a deal. Itās markedly less violent than a hard tackle. All the hand-wringing about āweāre not talking about the football, weāre talking about Suarezā is utter hypocritical tosh. Youāre choosing to talk to about it because itās good fun to see a man biting someone on a football pitch; itās bloody hilarious in fact. But if you wanted to, you could all but ignore it. Everyone could. One bite, a fine and a few games banned, there you go, issue over. But no. Now it seems that we have to get ourselves into a lather of indignation, losing all perspective on the incident itself, losing all grip of its importance in football or in life and someone elevating it to the equal of a war crime.
Where on the scale of football sins does it lie? Worse than diving? Worse than a bad tackle? Worse than kneeing someone in the back? Worse than fighting? Worse than putting your thumb up someoneās bum? All of those could cause a major injury (except the bum thumb thing, unless youāve got a very big thumb with a sharp nail). Itās not like he actually removed any flesh so was it actually a real bite or some sort of faux vegan-inspired bite which did not taste flesh? A soya bite, if you will.
Itās time that there was some honesty and perspective about these type of incidents when were weāre all supposed to throw our skirts over our head, indulge ourselves in competitive outrage and wail about another dark day for football. Canāt we just laugh it off? In what way does it really matter? Will there be a sudden outbreak of biting across the land as all of us, hypnotized by Suarezā actions, seek out the taste of human flesh?
Biting is no worse - in fact, it is considerably less bad - than many acts of aggression on a football pitch. It is not some uniquely heinous sin.
It is however, a small but bloody mad thing to do, so letās enjoy that fact and admit we love this sort of thing. It keeps us all entertained and thatās what football is all about. Entertainment.
I agree with everything you said there Paulie-most people just laughed when they saw what the mad cunt did. It was entertainment at itās best.
Where did you cut and paste that from CM?
Iād rather be bitten than have some cunt meet me knee high with a tackle
Sorry, 365. Thought I enclosed it.
Exactly, what Nani did against Madrid was far worse.
I like Luis. Heās just a little bit crazy and unpredictable. This seems to be a storm in a tea cup. Personally Iāve been bitten many times by Mrs Long and enjoyed almost every single one. Iāve also been bitten by a former work colleague on a night out and, while a little shocked, I wore the resultant bruise like a badge of honour for the next week or so. The Chelsea guy will probably be the same.
Like the premature death of a much-loved celebrity such as Jeremy Beadle or Jade Goody, that article really does put everything in perspective. In the worlds of Mark Clattenburg, Luis was just being a bit of a cheeky monkey.
With that in mind, Iād like to apologise to Totti for making fun of his recent argument about spitting and agree retrospectively that spitting isnāt that bad. Sure you shouldnāt do it, but, hey, weāve all done it at some stage and had it done to us, havenāt we? āThe worst thing you can do on a football pitchā? Nah, it doesnāt quite match up the old the old Roy Keane style-kneebreaker, does it?
Luis will probably be involved in a spitting controversy at some stage too so I have to be seen to have defended what he has done in advance of it happening, lest I be accused of being a flip-flopper when the time comes. People can just accuse me of being one now instead.
Again, sorry Totti.
Oh, and Suarez is still God.
I thought folwer was god Sidney
+1. I was bitten on the ear by an E&Y assistant manager in Dicey Reillyās a year or 2 ago and Iāve gotten over it. I thought it was very unusual behaviour at the time but not untypical from a rugby player.
Iāve bitten someone beforeā¦ It was during a brawl- A few latchicos were throwing slaps in a night club, I locked onto the nearest one and we fell onto the floor with him on top of me and my hands trapped underneath- his mates were kicking away but I think he was getting the brunt of it- Anyway, I did what any man would do, I locked onto his jaw and took a chunk. There was no need of the chipper that night!
Wasnāt there a biting incident at a Stokes Kennedy Crowley Christmas Dinner some years ago, involving two accountants?
Indeed.
I think lapsed poster stickywithoutjam may have been involved.
twas long after poor tumour lost his battle with ollie, mickee
Im aware of that Art but i think it must be remembered that the repulsive actions of this man in the noughties were used as a precedent for the actions of future Shelbourne boardrooms culminating in this total lack of respect for a national football competition.