That is outstanding kid. The way you captured his post alcohol depression fueled moment of true clarity, when he collapsed on his steering wheel, momentarily realising the pointlessness of his existence, was truly breathtaking. As was the poignant imagery of an adult male rediscovering hoarded condiments in his vehicle, a pathetic victory but enough to fuel another days stuggle. Dont leave us waiting for the next instalment.
3 Likes
The metaphysical hangover. Much worse than the physical.
does Mac take his own life at the end of ep.10?
Think iv heard this yarn before.
Is any other outcome possible when heās finally overcome by his repressed homosexuality?
Surely the next installment. Maybe he could have a cut at eating this bad boy being made in Kilsheelan Tipperary daily
That turned my stomach.
Think thatās big Dave Powerās home place. It kinda makes sense now.
6 Likes
Thatās good atein
I love the way thereās a bit of lettuce down the bottom. 
Healthy like.
You shouldnāt have eaten so much of it.
All 10 short story plots have been settled on.
Hope to have the second installment along sometime later today.
5 Likes
MacRoaster Nearly Dies
Mac sits at the kitchen table, legs sprawled out under the table. He is wearing a white vest and matching y-front combo, the vest could be mistaken for a belly top given the exposure it gives to his hirsute, enlarged belly, it is covered in grease patches and blobs of red and brown sauce adorn it. He momentarily rises up from his seat and lets out a loud and prolonged yawn while patting his monstrous gut, he proceeds to drop his left hand further down and scratch his glands outside of his yellow-stained underpants. Sitting back down, Mac reaches into the middle of the table and grabs the Racing Post, he unfolds it out and places it down on top of the breakfast plate, infusing the inked paper with the grease and condiment remnants of his breakfast.
āAh Mac, youāre destroying the tableā snipes Macās wife before rushing over to the table and retrieving the plate from under his paper.
āFor fuck shake, woman. Look what youāre after doing!ā grunts Mac alluding to the back and front pages of the paper now covered in brown sauce.
āFuckinnnnā canāt leave anything aloneā he mutters to himself as he vacates his chair and slams it back into the table before embarking down the hallway.
Mac turns into the bathroom on the left, he opens the door and opting not to close it behind him, he approaches the toilet and lifts the seat before dropping his y-fronts which reveal a thick vertical brown line on their underside, he turns around and sits down on the toilet, facing out at the open door.
āBring down that fuckinnnnā paperā Mac bellows down the hall as he gives his scrotum another vigorous scratch before bringing his fingers up to his hideous hook nose and taking a strong intake of oxygen through his nose.
His urine is dark yellow and boasts such a wretched fragrance that even Mac seems disgusted at what heās just unleashed. Unable to deposit any solids yet, his rosy red cheeks are puffed out like he has a number of snooker balls in his mouth. Exerting tremendous pressure and force but to no avail Mac tries to encourage himself.
āCāmon ya bashturd, ya. Cāmon ya basthurd.ā Mac repeats this mantra to himself before pausing for brief respite and recuperation of the energy heās exerted.
After a brief interval Mac goes again, this time putting his hands on his arse cheeks, pulling them apart while pushing himself as hard as he can, with still no end result in sight, Mac abandons this effort. Feeling light headed, he wipes away the brow of sweat that has accumulated on his head. Suddenly a sharp piercing pain goes through the left side of Macās chest, short of breath, he realises heās in bother and gets up off the toilet seat and stumbles down the hallway, leaving a drip-trail of piss behind him before careering head first into the range in the kitchen while simultaneously shitting himself. A loud but hollow sound rings out as Mac makes contact with the range as his wife rushes over to find her husband out cold, blood flowing from his head and a stool lodged between his prostrate legs on the floor.
Hours later, Mac emerges from his concussion to find himself in the unfamiliar surroundings of a hospital bed. His head bandaged and feeling very groggy, he is greeted out of his slumber by his wife.
"Mac, Mac, are you ok?
āWhere am I?ā responds a rather confused Mac
āYouāre in the hospital, youāve had a heart attackā Macās wife says softly.
āLast thing I can remember is having a shiteā Mac says looking up at his wife with a huge degree of skepticism.
āIāll get the doctorā Macās wife leaves her husbandās side no doubt ruing whatever indiscretions she made in a previous life to receive such a penance.
āHi Mac, how are you feeling?ā asked the doctor as he entered the room.
Mac stares at the doctor, saying nothing
āYouāre a lucky man, youāve had a heart attackā¦Iāve been speaking to your wife and thereās going to be some changes needed here.ā
āWhat changes?ā Mac defensively responds
āWell your diet, your stress levels and chronic constipation have been contributing factors to this heart attack. Iām afraid thatās going to mean that youāve eaten your last breakfast roll.ā
Macās face turns a paler shade of white as his wife clasps her hand over his, he turns in his bed facing away from both the doctor and his wife, tears fill up his eyes as a solemn silence fills the room.
19 Likes
chuckling away to myself here on a train. Brilliant
1 Like
Epic stuff. Fantastic.
I love him already
Great to mac humiliated like this 
1 Like
Winner.
Its an utter humiliation. And finally, after all these years a thread free of @Mac and his snaky little posit commentary aimed at belittling ordinary decent Joe soap posters doing their best.
It must be killing him looking in here, the whole board laughting at him, even the bottom dwellers are revelling in this. Itās great to see.
And we have 8 chapters remaining.
Jesus the work that Nembo has put into it. He must have been painstakingly profiling the gimp for years. The greatest thread of all time on any forum. The fucking roaster will just have to sit there and take it. Ps. Iām here below in Munich for a few days, going to try out a few clubs, our kind of clubs if you know what I mean
2 Likes
genius
you would almost feel sorry for mac if he wasnt such a cunt
1 Like