Phrases and Scenes that are unique to football and soaps

Example One (Soaps):

Person A wants to break up with Person B and confesses this to Persons C or D who sadly feature no more in this event. Person A calls over to Person B and says sheepishly that they should talk about something important. Person B agrees and says they would like to say something too. They both blurt out something at the same time. Person A says you go first.* Person B says “I just wanted to say how much I love you.” Person A then says either “Oh that’s what I wanted to say” or else Person B says “now you were going to say something?” at which point Person A says “oh I’ve forgotten what I was going to say.”

The above scene will usually end with Example Two:
Person A and Person B embrace. Person B looks happy. The camera slowly pans around to the far side. The music changes tone. Person A has their head resting merrily on Person B’s shoulder but we soon discover that Person A is grimacing unbeknownst to Person B. The credits always roll at this point.

  • There is a less common variation on this theme which is Person B insisting that before Person A says anything that they’d just like to say somethiing first. The scene continues as normal after that but it’s an important distinction because it leaves Person A a bit deeper in trouble because Person B isn’t even listening to them.

Example Three (Football):

“There are no easy games in international football anymore.”

The anymore bit is crucial here because it’s so patently wrong. There are way more shit teams playing international football these days. Andorra, American Samoa to name but 2 that begin with A.

Get help man ,quick.

A couple of phrases unique to soaps.


[]A bloke is unhappy with his bird being friends with an old flame of hers, and expresses it to her with the line ‘It’s not you I don’t trust - it’s him’.
]A person has not been seen in some time and then returns. They are usually greeted with a ‘Where have you been? I was about to send out a search party.’


Home Manager: The onus is on us to attack as the home team.

Nobody ever uses the word ‘onus’ in other contexts. The onus is on me to organise a taxi. No. I’d just say, it’s up to me to arrange a taxi.


In Neighbours somebody would open a door and bump into somebody who coincidentally was coming through the other side of the door at the exact same time.

Dunph will move this to the dungeon when he logs on I’d imagine.

Yeah. A lot of soaps do that. It seems to be an overutilised way of getting one character to exit and another to enter a scene at the same time.

A weird thing in soaps is a person walking into a room where two people are talking, and on the basis of something one of the people says, blurts out a highly sensitive piece of information that one of the original people was keeping from the other. I’ve never seen this happen in real life. If there’s a sensitive issue between two people you know you go out of your way to avoid it being brought up while you’re with them.

Similar to Rocko’s initial soap offering:

  1. A cheats on B with C.
  2. A immediately regrets it and vows to confess to B.
  3. Firstly, he tells C it was a mistake and he was going to own up to it and tells a mutual friend D what happened.
  4. A goes to B’s house but the situation as Rocko described arises.
  5. After B professes her love to A and A bottles the confession and reciprocates, B wonders what A wanted to talk about.
  6. A says something like, ‘Oh, I just wanted to say I can’t make dinner with you tonight.’
  7. Later on, B randomly meets D in a public area and seems in upbeat spirits.
  8. D says something naive like, ‘I didn’t expect you to be so happy.’
  9. B then replies that she got some bad news from A but she wasn’t going to let it ruin her day. Of course she’s referring to the dinner cancellation rather than D’s assumption that she knows about A’s indiscretion.
  10. D then praises her for being strong about A cheating on B with C.
  11. It dawns on D that B didn’t know about it judging by B’s facial reaction.
  12. D says, ‘I thought you knew!’
  13. B runs off to the beach.

The cheatee is usually inadvertently informed about the cheater’s deception in this manner.

Very good Bandage and not too far from Watch the Break’s scenario immediately above your post.

That doors thing happened a lot in Neighbours alright. I always thought that the second metal door often caused confustion in these instances. The actors often cope poorly with opening two sets of doors and some of those coincidence scenes aren’t perfectly fluid as a result.