I get these cunts endorsing me for stuff I’ve never done. ‘Seamus Flynn just endorsed you for Perl’
Perl is a singer.
Cunts
3 Likes
I’m still looking for volunteers to post “that never happened” type responses (or even more aggressive ones) to connections and randomers on LinkedIn.
“That’s management speak jargon and it makes you look like a bit of a cunt, mate.”
3 Likes
Bernard Marr writes some very good LinkedIn posts on ‘big data’ and enterprise performance, but it would be nice if someone replied with an accusation of “ball-hopping”, or looking like a bit of a cunt, as you so succinctly put it.
Would shake things up a bit alright. I do follow one guy who is a consultant and a serious jargon meister himself but he does, tbh, call out a heap of stuff on LinkedIn that he thinks is poppycock. A sample from earlier
you need go back and read up on Agile, there is nothing in Agile that prevents hitting a deadline, in fact it’s quite the opposite, there is too much wrong with your article to go through it in detail but suggest you understand it before you criticise it.
1 Like
I think linkedin is gone too much like Facebook with people posting stuff about their families etc on it.
I posted to this effect about a week ago.
1 Like
Agile?!
Yes, what is agile in a modern day work setting?
I’ve seen posts on LinkedIn lately recommending very interesting articles about working as an “agile scrum master” in fast paced, dynamic environments.
What’s an agile scrum master? Don’t say Furlong from Campile.
3 Likes
Anglo’s loan application process hit peak agility around 2006 pal.
6 Likes
No comment other than get off my LinkedIn profile page please.
1 Like
I haven’t a clue what Agile is really. Some kind of methodology like LEAN or six sigma if I had to guess
I think its the IT guys jargon of choice
As you suggest its a methodology, software developers use it.
I would imagine @KinvarasPassion is a scrum master
1 Like
Agile Software Development is an umbrella term for a set of methods and practices based on the values and principles expressed in the Agile Manifesto.
2 Likes
I think you could be onto something here, gmail.
4 Likes
Why do these IT types always feel the need to have ‘manifestos’? Is it to create the illusion that they are part of a movement that involves contact with other people?
As for the agile thing, the notion that IT people are capable of being flexible, making quick decisions, or collaborating in a cross-functional environment can only have been dreamed up by someone who’s never met one of them.
4 Likes
I worked with a senior IT guy before who was an active member of the green party and used to wear shoes that you closed with velcro straps. He was an odd little fish.
6 Likes
I wear that hat on and off.
Agile is a software term. Its a ‘methodology’ on how to deliver better quality software more efficiently.
For example, here is how agile should work.
- So plan to deliver a major software application by end of 2017.
- We plan this into 4 releases of 13 weeks each.
- We break up each release (13 weeks) into 3 iterations of 4 weeks with 1 week for ‘hardening’ at the end of week 12.
- Each iteration (4 weeks) has a planning phase at the start called discovery so everybody gets familiar with the ‘stories’ they are working on and can give estimates.
- This relies on high levels of automation so that software can fail quickly if necessary.
In reality…
Half of the Gimps in IT cant estimate for shite
The other half are wary of making a good impression and under estimate
Management over promise the business partners
It rarely works as it should.
3 Likes
We still use the trusty waterfall method in the public service. Rock solid and gives the cunts exactly what they don’t want 100% of the time.
5 Likes
You can add a line that IT management eventually caves in to business demands and underestimates costs and the leadtime
2 Likes
The kernal of the problem, the business never knows what it wants.
Or they think they know what they want, but they actually need something else.
1 Like