Bh Bono le U2 os comhair lucht fachana ah ceolchoirm l amhin, agus sheas s ar an stitse agus thosnaigh s ag bualadh - bos go mall ridh. Ansin, i nguth seal, tromchiseach labhair s: “Gach uair a bhualaim mo bhosa, faigheann naonn san Afraic bs.” Arsa duine den lucht fachana cngarach don stitse: “Bhuel, mar sin, stad leis an bualadh - bos, a chladhaire!”
Caitheann an tAth Murch a shuil an tfhuinneog amach ar maidin agus cad t ar an bhfaiche taobh am roimhe ach asal marbh. Glaonn se ar oifig na nGarda ar an dteileafon agus deireann, “T asal marbh 'na lu ar m’fhaiche taobh am. An misde cupla garda a cuireadh cugam i leith cun a thogaint as?” “Cheapas i gcomhnui gua ar do churamsa e la Deiranach a cuireadh ar na marbh!”, deireann an garda. Fanann an tAth Murch in a thst go cheann cupla noimeata, agus ansin deireann s, “Is cheart dom eolas a cuireadh ar na ngeasghaol ar dtus!”
[quote=“north county corncrake”]Bh Bono le U2 os comhair lucht fachana ah ceolchoirm l amhin, agus sheas s ar an stitse agus thosnaigh s ag bualadh - bos go mall ridh. Ansin, i nguth seal, tromchiseach labhair s: “Gach uair a bhualaim mo bhosa, faigheann naonn san Afraic bs.” Arsa duine den lucht fachana cngarach don stitse: “Bhuel, mar sin, stad leis an bualadh - bos, a chladhaire!”
Caitheann an tAth Murch a shuil an tfhuinneog amach ar maidin agus cad t ar an bhfaiche taobh am roimhe ach asal marbh. Glaonn se ar oifig na nGarda ar an dteileafon agus deireann, “T asal marbh 'na lu ar m’fhaiche taobh am. An misde cupla garda a cuireadh cugam i leith cun a thogaint as?” “Cheapas i gcomhnui gua ar do churamsa e la Deiranach a cuireadh ar na marbh!”, deireann an garda. Fanann an tAth Murch in a thst go cheann cupla noimeata, agus ansin deireann s, “Is cheart dom eolas a cuireadh ar na ngeasghaol ar dtus!”[/quote]
North County Corncrake: nos Gaela n na Gaeil iad fin
Three parrots for sale - €170, €150 and €10. Woman asks “Why is that parrot so cheap?” Shopkeeper replies “He used to live in a brothel.” The woman thinks it’s funny, so buys the parrot. When she gets home, the parrot says “Fuck me, a new brothel.” The woman laughs. Her two daughters come home and the parrot says “Fuck me, two new prozzies.” The girls laugh. Then the husband comes home and the parrot says “Fuck me Davie, long time no see.” :lol:
Don’t know if I told this one before but I think this is brilliant. In the words of Frank Carson ‘good, clean fun!’
A Cavan man’s wife dies so he goes to the national paper to put in the death notice.
He asks the price. The editor says ‘It depends. 3 words cost €20. If you go over 3 words, it’s €50.’
The Cavan man decides to go for the 3 words, and settles on the line ‘Mary is dead’.
The editor feels a bit sorry for him seeing his wife had just died so he says that he can have 3 extra words, free of charge.
The Cavan man says ‘Ok’ and continues: ‘Mary is dead. Hay for sale’.