Stupid Commentator/Pundit Thread 2011

Phil Babb there discussing a possible Liverpool penalty in the match against Sparta Prague.

‘Was it a penalty? I don’t know. Perhaps viewers can email us what they think.’

O’Gara kicks the ball out of play and that dickhead Tony Ward comes out with:

‘If Ronaldo or Messi did that on a football field then we’d be salivating.’

Eh, no. Retard.

your right it reminded more of roberto carlos.

Can you think of any other games where a player gets cheered for kicking the ball out of play?

English Premiership soccer.

hit row Z is a phrase I’ve heard commentators say before.

The commentator on Sky last night on the Real Madrid - Spurs game

“the Bernabeu is rocking” pronounced it Ber-na-bow and then said “or the Ber-na-bay-u as the locals like to call it around here” :blink: :rolleyes:

Whats the correct pronunciation?

Glen Hoddle last night in response to Jeff Stelling’s question on the merits of Mourinho:

‘Yeah he’s good Jeff. I wonder though if he could take a team from bottom of the league in England to the last 8 of the Cmapions League within 2 seasons.’

Jaime was waffling on about how the late withdrawal of Aaron Lennon was the reason for the Real Madrid first goal.

‘It just caused confusion. Normally you have decided who should pick up who from corners when you pick your team. Adebayor is excellent in the air so probably would have been picked up by Michael Dawson. Then Lennon gets injured and Jenas ends up picking him up.’

I don’t even think he knew himself what he was on about towards the end.

Jamie Redknapp last night after seeing Stankovic’s goal:

JR “Actually it’s very like a goal Glenn scored once. That same sort of volley.”
GH “I’m not sure J.”
JR “Yeah it was very similar. You dipped the shoulder and volleyed it just like that.”
GH “I don’t think so.”
JR “I can’t remember who it was against now. Was it Spurs maybe?”
GH “I never scored from there.”
JR “Liverpool maybe was it?”
GH “It certainly wasn’t like that from that distance.”
JR “I can’t remember the opposition now but it was just like that.”

Thats cracking stuff from Jamie again :lol:

What was Hoddles face like while that exchange was going on?


A boiled shite

I’d imagine the way the locals fucking pronounce it.

Tyler: “Arsenal are honing in on their third successive nil all draw at home.”

Wilkins: “And if you’d said that at the start of the season you’d have been very very wrong.”

Van Persie’s goal notwithstanding you wouldn’t have been wrong.

The weekly round up of these from dangerhere is usually good for a few laugh out louds. The sarky comments they add in before the pundits’ shite talk makes them.


A week is a long time in football for Setanta’s Des Curran:

“They just don’t do nil-nils do they, Tottenham?”


The anger management classes have worked wonders for Kenny Cunningham:

“A difficult decision for the referee’s assistant. I wouldn’t beat him up over it.”


Jimmy Magee knows player safety is paramount, particularly during the opening 45 minutes:

“They cannot take a chance with head knocks and they won’t. Certainly not until after half time.”


Leonardo found it difficult to motivate his players against Schalke on Tuesday night, particularly after Glenn Hoddle had announced their elimination from the competition:

“Tottenham took Inter Milan back to the Lane and knocked them out.”


After Inter’s 5-2 home defeat, Iain Dowie was handed the abacus, before quickly handing it back again:

“I can’t even calculate how many they have to score in the second leg – is it seven or something?


Glenn Hoddle got to work padding out Crouchy’s CV:

“He’s played in World Cups and he’s played in international football.”


Let’s give Talksport’s Micky Quinn the very last word on Wayne Rooney’s friendly chat with the camera:

“A lot of people are jumping on the moral background.”


Ray Wilkins would take a different approach to cleaning up the game, starting with the audience:

“Unfortunately we’ve got a lot of children watching football.”


Then again, perhaps Butch’s concerns are valid:

“As a man who has been injured for a while, you’d expect Ronaldo to have been tugged off by now.”


Of course Wilkins’ performance last Tuesday night was most notable for him roaring “Stay on your feet!” at Tottenham players roughly every ten seconds, not to mind unfathomably referring to Spurs as “we” for the duration of their Bernabéu embarrassment. @RioFerdy5 was quick to join in the fun on Twitter to get #StayOnYourFeet trending.

Cut to Wednesday evening and the aftermath of Chelsea-United when a grinning Rio managed to insert “We’ll have to stay on our feet at Old Trafford” into his post-match ITV interview.


Ray also brought news of the unusual ritual that saw Spurs escape the concession of an early penalty:

“To get away with a decision like that as the home side, they have to count their chickens.”


A Spanish referee for Chelsea-United was a red rag to George Hamilton:

“The referee is from Pamplona, let’s hope there’s nothing bullish about the performance.”


Cautious Scott Minto isn’t counting any chickens for the winners of the United-Chelsea tie:

“If you get past Schalke you would expect to get to the final.”


Jamie Redknapp didn’t become a top, top pundit without meticulous preparation and research:

“He’ll be down, I know my dad very well.”


Jamie is also widely admired in the mathematics community for his ability to calculate ratios using a single number:

“That’s ten goals for Adebayor versus Spurs, that’s a great ratio.”


The news of Mike Parry’s departure from Talksport came as something of a blow to fans of guff. They need not have worried, judging by an early Parry gambit from his stint on BBC Five Live’s 6-0-6:

“It’s 6.48 with me and Robbie Savage on Talksport.”


Alan Pardew impresses Alan McInally with his entertaining dealing:

“He’s had to juggle the pack.”


Rapid Bucharest gaffer Marius Sumudica is not a great believer in keeping criticism in the dressing room – at least when it comes to defender Marius Constantin:

“He stinks of beer and smokes. If you go in his room the smoke is so dense you could leave a bike standing upright unsupported. He likes the minibar and uses gum to clean his breath. You know, I don’t care for him.”

Ray Wilkins on Cesc Fabregas and his ability to find space

“He literally carries around 10 yards of space in his shorts”.

Had he left out the “of space” bit it would have been far better, but still, a good un.

Ray Wilkins obviously agrees there are some massive arseholes on the Arsenal team.

Gerry Armstrong: “What did I say a few minutes ago Kevin? When Dani Alves hits free kicks from that range he very rarely hits the target. I’d say three or four out of five hit the target.”

Chris Coleman said earlier on Sky Sports that the upcoming Wolves/Blackburn game will be a World Cup final for both teams.

Not just the usual ‘cup final’ cliché but a ‘world cup final’. He’s a clown.

Jamie: “How United aren’t 2 or 3 goals up is beyond me. The only reason is the goalkeeper.” So it wasn’t beyond even you Jamie.