Terrible Joke Thread


#41

What’s black and white and eats like a horse?

A zebra.


#42

Yours in seasonal,
GSH.


#43

Told the wife I was getting a burning sensation in my arse, and didnt know what it was… she said “ring sting?”…I said “How the fuck will he know?”


#44

Capital letters are important.

I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse.


#45

My sister brought home a rag mag from one of the universities in the early 1970s. It contained a joke that was so staggeringly awful that it has stayed with me word for word to this day.

A girl goes into a record shop and asks do you have Jingle Bells on a 7 inch. The assistant says sorry no but I do have Dangle Balls on a 12 inch. That’s not a record she replies. It nearly is says he.


#46

What had Freddie Mercury and Ayrton Senna in common?

they both had shitty helmets


#47

Button injured after serious F1 accident

http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/s320x320/526735_3486579719170_1111730490_3393952_2007112143_n.jpg


#48

What does The Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people.


#49

How do you get two whales in a car?

On the motorway


#50

Adam Johnson signs for Man Utd after finding out they have players who are Young and Keane.


#51

How many horses does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one big horse. As many hands make light work


#52

Roger Federer was asked what’s the best thing about being Swiss. He thought for a while and said “well the flag is a big plus”.

What did the German clock maker say to the broken clock? Ve have vays of making you tock.


#53

Wrong thread. That’s a stonewall classic.


#54


#55

What’s a Chinese dentists favourite time? Tooth Hurty


#56

Do people still tell jokes? I hardly ever hear them now. I remember being in the pub and lads would take turns telling them. Never happens anymore.


#57

Why did Mary fall off the swings?

Because she had no arms.


#58

A fella I know was feeling a bit down so he rang the Iraqi Samaritans and told them he was feeling suicidal.

The guy on the other end asked him if he could drive a truck.


#59

What’s white on top and black on the bottom?


#60

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

R O B E R T O