The Terrible Joke Thread

Paddy rings the ispca and tells them he found a suitcase on the side of the road full of puppies.
ā€œAre they movingā€ asks the woman, ā€œI donā€™t knowā€ says Paddy ā€œbut that would explain the suitcaseā€

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That is good , not at all terrible

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Thatā€™s a great gag, :smile:

https://scontent.fdub4-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/fr/cp0/e15/q65/13010861_843350279103239_5617699534991545745_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&efg=eyJpIjoidCJ9&oh=471058327411461663a2a6fcef4a7814&oe=5B97C52B

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Lovely!

While weā€™re on the livestock theme:
Whatā€™s the difference between a feather and a chicken?

A feather is kinky - a chicken is perverted

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Q: What sort of music do wind turbines like?
A: Theyā€™re big metal fans.

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What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it into the oven until its bill withers

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I thought of a classic this evening after killing an ant.

What did the Pink Panther say when he killed a load of ants?
Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant

Actually that one might not work in text :grinning:

I had my leg X-rayed today.

The doctor said: ā€˜Your patella measures 2.54cmā€™.

I said: ā€˜Inch high knees?ā€™

He said: ā€˜ę‚Øēš„é«ŒéŖØę˜Æ2.54厘ē±³é«˜

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Thereā€™s these two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other, ā€œdo you know how to drive this thing?ā€

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That is quality.

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I wanted to watch the world origami championships last week.

but it was only on paper view

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My parents used to own a paper shop, but it blew away.

It probably would have been enveloped by the bigger chains anyway

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.

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my Korean friend died the other day

so yung

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