The Daddy Thread

Things
6160

Is he? Didn’t notice

6161

I’m not surprised

6162

Maybe i need to get in touch with my feminine side, or take a swim in ‘lake me’, or whatever it is you snowflakes are up to these days

6163

Didn’t you say you lost your balls in one of the separations?

6164

Hardly. Fire up the post

6165

The audit trail doesn’t lie

6166

You’re in a strange place. But we’re still here for you

6167

We?

6168

Have the last word…go on

6169

Would you often speak in the royal we? I’ll assume a non response to be a curtsey to the crown.

1 Like
6170

Just spent half an hour cleaning up vomit in the 4 year olds bedroom. The smell is still there no matter what’s taken out and put into the wash :nauseated_face:

I’ll whinge and moan but for the amount of it he’s lucky he didn’t choke on it :flushed:

10 Likes
6171

How did ye do it, for lads on here that don’t know?

1 Like
6172

There’s a bug going around. My sister in laws house had it. Hubby and her three boys under three :see_no_evil:. Best part of it was it was past on to the MIL.

2 Likes
6173

I was blessed with how well behaved my first two were but the third is a right little bollix. I heard a tumble at the weekend and it sounded like someone was falling down the stairs. I ran out and sure enough I saw the 6 year old hurtling down head first. Thankfully she was fine but i looked at the top of the stairs and who was staring down only himself. He’s 3 but he knew what I was thinking. ‘NO’ he shouted ‘it wasn’t me’. I replied that I didn’t say it was. He furrowed the brow and repeated ‘it wasn’t me’. Turns out it wasn’t, for once.

He headed in to the jacks that evening and let an absolute rasper of a fart. It was so impressive he lolled to himself. He didn’t know i was listening until I lolled at his reaction to his own fart. ‘Did you hear it Daddy?’ He sounded delighted that I did.

7 Likes
6174

The Omen Devil GIF by foxhorror

1 Like
6175

The little lad’s first day back in crèche after holiday.

When I picked him up he told me he wanted his Mammy earlier and was crying.

‘I did not want you’ he coldly informed me

7 Likes
6176

Oooft from the small man

1 Like
6177

They know how to stick the knife in from a surprisingly early age

My daughter is a master at it

3 Likes
6178

The kids probably 5’9”

7 Likes
6179

I hope you told him you wanted a daughter and that life is full of disappointments