Did you know Joe donated a kidney?
Be some crack when Ja Burns is running the show
The latest episode had joe phoning the muscoskeletal department in trinity regarding the optimism muscle, the last episode had a lad telling joe how heâd featured in a ayahuasca trip.
Both made up gags without a punchline. Heâll still make a great president but itâs poor enough stuff. He doesnât frequent mcreynolds anymore,l- a pity because he wouldnât get away with any such lame nonsense, heâd have to fight his corner amongst the most loquacious, intelligent and philosophical alcoholics in ireland.
What Joeâs podcast needs is someone to put it up to himâŠAnn would be perfect
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Joe is a great fella. We need him as President
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His time will come
Professional real estate managers where pensions are tied up.
The likes of Brolly prefers to have the likes of Des Mackin managing properties, amongst others in the traditional Irish landlord class.
At the banquet in Dublin Castle on Thursday night, we were sitting at the table next to the presidentâs. After the starters, he came over and sat beside us.
âLaurita, you guys have gotta come with us to Knock on Air Force One tomorrow.â
âI canât, I have to get my hair done in Foxford at 11 oâclock.â
The president shot me a âshe must be kiddingâ look. I shrugged my shoulders. Next morning, at five to eleven, I was dropping the glamorous brunette off at Sharonâs in Foxford. No man can come between a woman and her hair. Not even the most powerful man in the world.
Earlier I had driven into Ballina and got out to talk to two guards who were manning the cordon at the River Moy.
As we were chatting, three frogmen bubbled up out of the river. The sergeant rolled his eyes. âJoe, itâs like being on the set of a Bond movie.â
There were unseen snipers everywhere and unmanned drones high in the sky, loaded up with the sort of tech reserved for sci-fi movies, ready to atomise any âthreatâ at a split secondâs notice.
The cathedral and its environs were as sleepy as ever. People were wandering in and out of town as normal, oblivious that their tranquil idyll had been temporarily transformed into the worldâs most sophisticated kill zone.
I spoke to a secret service operative called Tom, who looked and sounded like a movie character. âLetâs just say, you wouldnât want to be pulling a gun, sir.â
Expand Close Joe Biden at St Muredachâs Cathedral in Ballina, Co Mayo. Photo: Reuters / Facebook Twitter Email Whatsapp Joe Biden at St Muredachâs Cathedral in Ballina, Co Mayo. Photo: Reuters
At the Joe Biden mural, the Ballina community clean-up crew were putting the finishing touches to their tidy up. Every footpath had been power-washed until it was gleaming. Every old building and house painted in pastel shades.
The place was buzzing, alive with the expectation of an extraordinary event. Martin Devanney and Dermot Rice were there with a man I hadnât met.
âJoe, I want to introduce you to Marty Lackey, the man who knocked out Bono.â Marty blushed and said: âAh, for f***âs sake lads.â
âTell me all,â I said. Dermot obliged.
âIn 1980, a band that had changed their name from Feedback to U2 came to the town hall. They were supported by a local band called Full Moon, who did cover versions and the crowd loved them.
âU2 came on with their post (pronounced âposhtâ by Dermot) punk f***ing psychedelic rock. The crowd started booing them.
"There was an incident a couple of weeks earlier where the army boys from Ballina who were serving in the Renmore Barracks in Galway got into a row with U2âs roadies above in a gig in Galway. So there was bad feeling already.
âAnyway, the row started and one of the soldiers got up on the stage and gave one of the band a punch â I canât remember which one â and all hell broke loose. Bono shouted into the mic that the town was a kip and we were savages and the crowd stormed the stage.â
âWho hit Bono?â
âEveryone. And The Edge got a stool broken across his back and either him or Adam Clayton got brought to the hospital.â
Marty said: âI hit him a thump in the mouth. Knocked him clean out.â
Expand Close Marty LackeyPhoto by: in sunglasses
Everybody laughed. No wonder U2 didnât come back to perform for the president.
The heart of the presidentâs visit was the Mayo Hospice in Castlebar.
Six years ago, we brought him to the site where he dug the first sod. It was clear, as I noted in my speech then, that he had never handled a spade before. But it was the spark for a miracle. Without fuss, Joe hosted a private fundraising dinner.
His seal of approval, his assistance whenever we needed it, helped to ensure the âŹ10m we needed was raised. A state-of-the-art hospice was built, entirely debt free. A free service for our most vulnerable friends and neighbours at the end of their precious lives. A place of love and human dignity.
Regularly, Joe would call us to check how things were going and to offer his help.
When we told him in Washington that we had dedicated the hospice to the memory of his beloved son Beau and showed him pictures of the dedication stone, he wept.
There are 14 beds in the hospice. No press were permitted for the visit. Only a few board members, some staff and a few close relations. On the morning of his visit, one of our patients slipped away.
When the president arrived with his sister Val and son Hunter, they stood looking down at the dedication stone, holding hands, holding back tears. Then, when they were inside and the palliative care consultants asked him if he would visit the patients, Joe was plainly moved.
He spent an hour with them, embracing each one of them, speaking tenderly with them.
When he came back out to us and Mairéad told me that the patients were astonished and elated by what he had done, I wept.
The rest is known. The electrifying speech at the cathedral. The vast, excited throngs. The guttural roar of âMayo for Samâ that sent the crowd wild.
Then, drinking. Industrial drinking. I got home at one, having cadged a lift from the hospice chief executive.
Expand Close Joe Biden arrives onstage in Ballina. Photo: Reuters / Facebook Twitter Email Whatsapp Joe Biden arrives onstage in Ballina. Photo: Reuters
There were no taxis so the glamorous brunette, having refused to leave the bar, flagged down an articulated lorry. (Previously, in Dublin one night, she got us a lift home with the bemused crew of a bin lorry.)
Luckily, her friend Audrey was with her and taped the journey home.
âAre you a serial killer?â
âNo, Iâm just driving to Charlestown.â
âYouâre not going to cut us into pieces and put us in the freezer unit?â
âNo.â
âIâve a lovely pair of high heels in my bag Iâm going to give you as a token of my gratitude.â
âItâs OK, I donât need them.â
âWell Iâm disappointed to hear that, John. A handsome buck like yourself and no woman?â
âI have a woman.â
At 5am, I was wakened when she came in to the bedroom and put the lights on.
âWhat are you doing?â
âIâm trying to find the prayer beads blessed by Bishop Kevin [her cousin, the Bishop of Paterson, New Jersey].â
âWhy?â
âShtop annoying me.â
She went outside with them. I followed her to the front door. There, parked on the road, hazards blinking, was the articulated lorry. She handed the beads to the driver.
âHe gave me a lift home,â she said.
President Biden is fond of saying: âThere are only two types of people in the world â the Irish and those who wish they were Irish.â
Ainât that the truth?
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Joe is incredible. Heâll be a wonderful president.
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Iâd say Audrey is a right dose
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Audrey!!! The description dose was created for them all including the self-indulgent Joe.
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Heâs having a hell of a mid life crisis
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Joe is a good man
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Joe is the best of us. His heart is pure.
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JOE
JOE
JOE!
Thatâs Joe Brolly QC I take it? Is he a KC now?
Joeâs whatever he wants to be
Go on Joe!!!
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