Still cycling?
Chronic you think or acute (an accident)?
I dunno. @backinatracksuit has been trying a little too hard lately. It flies in the face of the effortless smugness of the Fingal clique.
Eat rice before you go out running. Lots of cafes like you have over there have rice in the salt shakers to soak up the moisture and keep the salt dry. If you keep your salt dry it wont be leaking out of you like a drunkardâs piss.
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That almost sounds plausible.
Iâll try it. I have one brewing right now⌠a sinus infection that is.
A tablespoon of cayenne pepper 
Thatâs enough to set your anus on fire for several days. Itâs similar to the concoction I used in Ireland that led to the aborted coup, but that was more a result of the whiskey than the cayenne pepper. Youâd be better off snorting a line of the cayenne pepper and replacing it in the drink with a few shots of Jameson.
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I have a potentially serious medical emergency.
I think I just swallowed the sticker that was on my apple.
How long have I left?
What kind of apple was it?
Pink Lady
RIP.
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Nice knowing you, kid.
no it wasnât
How are the apples?
Big and small
Howâd you ate em?
Stickers nâall
I know, youâre a horrible cunt but I donât speak ill of the dead.
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Anyone ever heard of rolling a hard-boiled egg on a shiner to bring down the bruising? The owner of my local takeaway recommended it to me last night
Yes - iâve done it and recommended it here before ⌠peel it and wrap it in a towel once boiled and roll it around the shiner â itâs the heat what does it so in reality you donât need an egg, just something that generates that heat for 10-15 mins ⌠itâs an old chinky remedy.
I was rolling it straight onto it, feels like it helped anyway
The heat helps generate blood flow again and swelling/colouring should ease⌠How did you end up with said shiner, kid?
Unsurprisingly, listening to the lad in your chipper for medical advice, has left you with egg on your face.
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