Toenails

Anybody ever lose a toenail? The nail on the big toe of my right foot is hanging by a thread (following a football related injury) and i’m expecting it to fully detach itself over the coming days. For something which sounds quite painful it’s actually been completely pain free to date. I presume these things can grow back but it’s going to look pretty ridiculous for the next few months until that happens. If I just avoid meeting a bird with a foot fetish it shouldn’t be a problem though.

I was there when a mate of mine lost a fingernail a few years ago. He slipped on tarmacadam while playing soccer in the yard and put his hand out to break his fall. I don’t know how he managed it but he lost i’d say 80% of his fingernail. He was in horrendous pain for a while. It’s quite amusing looking back on it…

I lost a fingernail there about 18 months ago after getting it stuck in a door.
Whatever way it was broken and grew back I ended up with half a fingernail on the top part and then another
one started to grow at the bottom and the top half of the old one was pushed loose by the new one and eventually
came off and the new one grew back as normal. Took about a month to six weeks all in all I think.

Not too painful but a bit of a nuisance and fairly fucking disgusting looking.

Ten years ago I suffered the misfortune of having an ingrowing toenail. I tried to carry on living as normal a life as possible in the weeks before I had it operated on. This included playing a hurling match for IT Tallaght away to Carlow IT. 11 players boarded the bus. Two had never held a hurley before. Our opponents included a couple of Kilkenny minors. They lent us four players to make up the numbers. It didn’t work out well.

When I got the operation, a section had to be cut off the toenail. It grew back but didn’t knit properly, which means I have had a slight crack towards the top of my big toenail ever since. My quality of life hasn’t been impaired, I’m happy to say.

I slammed a very very heavy safe door on one of my big thumbs about 15 years ago. Blood welled up inside, I was in fucking agony. Waited 6 hours in emergency at Tallaght Hospital before some heifer of a nurse sees me. She disinfects a needle, holds it under a bunsen burner until white hot and pokes the thumb. Blood flows out, along with pain. Never have I felt such relief. “You could have done this at home yourself you big eejit” says she. “You could have fucking told me that 6 hours ago you ugly bastard” says I.

So thats what you do when you slam a safe door on your thumb, should save you from the 6 hours wait and culchie nurse humour.

Correction: it was absolutely fucking disgusting to look at :stuck_out_tongue:

Would it work for Dan Carter if he got his mickey caught in the safe door?

Lost a finger nail myself after hitting it a belt of a lump hammer one hung over Monday morning. Building sites, tools and hangovers are bad news.

I lost a fingernail when I was about 9 or 10. It’s no big deal but it’s fairly manky looking alright.

Yup. Last summer the piggy next to the biggie (left side) sheared off completely in a surfing incident.

Daktarin powder is the job here Jugs. Keep sprinkling it on and protect the nail bed with a plaster until the tenderness is gone. As its winter I suggest you change the dressing morning and night 'cause the last thing you need is some toe jam or durty sock fluff to adhere itself to the pinky pit in your piggy.

Luckily the season permitted me to wear flipflops so I was able to keep the piggy free from sweaty smelly socks.

It was largly pain free if digusting to look at, and the nail itself looked like it should be in a jam jar in some lab.

It took about 12 weeks for the nail to grow back, but it still feels funny 'cause the new nail is very thin.

All in all not the worst injury I’ve had.

Larryduff lost the top of his finger in a gate-related accident as a kid. I guess it wasn’t so much an accident as a game that went wrong with two families trying to push eachother off a gate. Larry got the tough inside role against the pillar and though our team won Larry lost his finger from the last knuckle up in the process. Never saw anything as disgusting in my life. We were only kids so I did what kids do and I ran away and left Larry screaming on his own.

He since got some of it re-attached and they tried to put a nail on there but it’s fucking manky. Larry often dips his manky finger in my dinner or my tea if I’ve left it unguarded. Horrible tactic but fair punishment for me being partly responsible for the loss of some finger I suppose.

:rolleyes:

spare us the lies runty

Go away you soft cunt, you wouldn’t be able to lift a lump hammer, let alone swing one.

The only lump hammer I do be swinging is between my legs…take it on a trip up cadbury’s lane

I also managed to cut the top off my finger when I was 7, slamming the garage door on it. It was barely hanging on by the skin. The oul fella had to do his best James Hunt impression to get me to Wexford hospital where they sewed it back on with what I have always believed to be “spider stitches” (well thats what the nurse told me). So if you compare that finger with its opposite on the other hand, they look completely different and you can very clearly see the stitches. Its still sore from time to time.

My older brother did that before as well. Had to pierce the nail to let the blood out the pain was so bad in it.

thats what I’m talking about above WTB, its absolute fucking agony before you pierce it (and believe me, I know pain, having lost most of my teeth and badly cutting my face in a bike accident), but its actually very easy to pierce it. Nice hot needle, slips in very easily (as the bishop assured the celebrated actress).

Both of my big toenails have been lost with a long time now. Lefty went when I was about 14. Some fuckin mountain man from Tullogher pulled on it during a game, split it in two so I pulled half of it off later that night. The remainder went of its own accord a few days later. Unpleasant.
Righty fell victim to a beer barrel many years ago.

The ‘nails’ that have grown in their place are a fucking horror show.

:lol: