Tottenham Hotspur

Far too dour to be a hipster. It’s going to take time. We have some truly awful/nothing players going forward - Odobert, Tel, Brendan Johnson. Bentancur and Richarlison both not up to it either. Two main attacking threats over last few season, Kulusevski and Maddison long term injuries and Solanke has morphed into another Darren Anderson type sick note. Vicario is not reliable in goal either.

We don’t look like scoring outside of set pieces and crosses. Nothing through the middle. We finished 17th last season, one place off relegation. We’ll improve on that but it would represent a good season if we break into the top half with so many mediocre players.

You’re spoilt after having Harry Kane.

We’re ahead against Leeds at Elland Road. 0-1. Mathys Tel with the goal.

That didn’t last long. Leeds equalise. Very poor again from our utter liability of a goalkeeper, Vicario.

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That’s super Leeds to you mate.

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Calvert-Lewin has his spark back. Playing well.

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Xavi Simons is spurs best player but that instance of self indulgence is why he was at some made up Red Bull team and now Spurs and represents the decline in Dutch attacking play all at once

Spurs getting on top now

If he played a simple pass and got on with it quickly he’d have set Kudus in for a goal on the left. A rabona was nonsensical.

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If I ran a football club you’d be out the door if you tried that shite or a panenka, fuck off with your fancy shit

A hard fought 1-2 win at Elland Road to move up to second.

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Standard is bang average this season with Citeh and Dippers in end of era phases. We’re on the right track and improving though. We have a lot of bang average players in midfield and up front and struggling for creativity with Maddison and Kulusevski long term injuries. Bit more quality and Harry leading the line, we wouldn’t be far of winning the league this season with the bar so low.

If only you had Brennan Johnson who was on the books of Notts Forest up front you’d be away in a hack. I’m not familiar with this Brendan Johnson lad you moan about.

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Van de Ven puts us ahead at Goodison Park against Everton. 0-1

That didn’t last long. 1-1.

VAR gone to work. Be harsh if it chalks off Everton equaliser. It’s degenerating into a non-contact sport.

Disallowed. The two Everton players are offside and obscuring Spurs goalkeeper.

0-2.

Van de Ven again and is on a hat-trick now. We’re gone all Woolwich on the set pieces.

https://archive.ph/48WSZ

A young man who couldn’t live with the Spurs-iness of it all

6 foot 2, eyes of blue, Willie Young is after you.
RIP Big Willie.

How the fuck is that not a penalty

The Hotspurs are an absolute bombscare in defence.