Woeful Journalism

Culture
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Final version. I’ve stolen off Fagan and will send him 10% commission when the Gorey Guardian prints it and pays me €15.

“HATS. FLAGS and HEADBANDS!?”

The cry is as much a part of the GAA match experience as the rusty turnstile and the over-priced programme. I decided to approach a “casual trader”, or “hawker”, as they’re universally known, and see what’s it’s like to be the one calling out that immortal phrase.

At first, John* looks perplexed as to why anyone would want to ask him any questions other than, perhaps, “how much is that Monaghan flag?”. Nevertheless, he tolerates my presence with unfailing politeness, as himself and his sales assistant go about packing up. A job, I see, which involves the filing away of county colours with no little amount of military precision.

I begin with a variant of the “do you come here often?” line.

“30 years here”, he tells me.

What got him into it?

“I was unemployed and gave it a go and I’m still at it.”.

John’s from Pearse Street originally but lives in Ballybough and prefers the hurlers to the footballers. I’m shocked already, but admire his good taste. I ask him does he mind missing being at the football matches anyway, in this era of Dublin success. Not really, as it happens.

”I’d be for the Dubs, d’you know what I mean? But, I’d rather the hurling than the football”.

I had looked up the rates for the casual trader licenses on the Dublin Council website and tentatively asked John if he has one. “Oh yeah, I’m working right now. It’s €38 for Croke Park days and €25 for down the o2.”

If you want to make a living as a casual trader it seems you have to put the hours in.

“You have to be pro-active now”, John tells me. “Years ago there was a handful of us doing it and now there’s hundreds out”. John says he’ll be out two hours before the first match of the day.

I ask him if he just does Croke Park and he scoffs and tells me he’ll be at the o2 and anywhere else hosting a big event, all year round.

Casual traders selling hats, flags and headbands (with a nod to the enterprising ladies who sell 3 chocolate bars for a pound, out of a pram) have been around since the 1960’s. Before that I’m told that it was customary for men to pin pennants featuring the stars of the day to the lapels of their suit jackets. I ask the oldest person I have to hand, (my dad, 60), what he remembers them selling. “Rosettes, paper hats and miniature dolls to wear on one’s chest”, he tells me.

“When it rained, the dye in the paper hats ran down your face”. This led, he says, to many a person in the stadium sitting or standing with what looked like a county colours face-painting job gone wrong.

I quickly see how the (cotton/cowboy) hats, flags and headbands took over.

Whilst they need not diversify much, competition appears to have made the business even harder.

“You have your good days and your bad days”, John tells me.

Dubs matches, I enquire, must be the best days?

John is quick to reply: “No. You’d be surprised. Dubs in an All-Ireland final, maybe, but what you want is a team that doesn’t get to Croke Park often, a team that hasn’t been up here in years. They buy the most souvenirs.”

I chance my arm and ask him who his best ever customers were. For a moment, he stares off into the distance, a grin grows on his face, and, eventually, he replies: “Donegal, 1992”.

Yeah?

“Yeah. I went up on the Saturday, the day before the final and I cleaned up.”

That heart-warming story aside, he has nothing but scorn for the “drunk northerners” who booze all the way down on the coach and then interfere with his stall when they get off the bus.

“Messy fuckers”, he says.

To round off, I ask him will he be at the Limerick-Kilkenny Hurling semi-final the next day.

Almost before I finish the question he replies:

“Oh, rain, hail or snow. Rain, hail or snow.”

I was at that game myself and we had both rain and hail. Sure enough, there he was, plastic covers shielding his wares and extolling the virtues of a Limerick flag to a potential customer as I walked by.

*“John” refused to tell me his name.

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The headbands were definitely around in the 87-88 time period anyway @Fagan ODowd. I remember being bought one for 50p and wearing it to games. I graduated from wearing it actually round my head to round my neck and even wrist as I got older and more self conscious.

663

[QUOTE=“Thrawneen, post: 1007999, member: 129”]Final version. I’ve stolen off Fagan and will send him 10% commission when the Gorey Guardian prints it and pays me €15.

“HATS. FLAGS and HEADBANDS!?”

The cry is as much a part of the GAA match experience as the rusty turnstile and the over-priced programme. I decided to approach a “casual trader”, or “hawker”, as they’re universally known, and see what’s it’s like to be the one calling out that immortal phrase.

At first, John* looks perplexed as to why anyone would want to ask him any questions other than, perhaps, “how much is that Monaghan flag?”. Nevertheless, he tolerates my presence with unfailing politeness, as himself and his sales assistant go about packing up. A job, I see, which involves the filing away of county colours with no little amount of military precision.

I begin with a variant of the “do you come here often?” line.

“30 years here”, he tells me.

What got him into it?

“I was unemployed and gave it a go and I’m still at it.”.

John’s from Pearse Street originally but lives in Ballybough and prefers the hurlers to the footballers. I’m shocked already, but admire his good taste. I ask him does he mind missing being at the football matches anyway, in this era of Dublin success. Not really, as it happens.

”I’d be for the Dubs, d’you know what I mean? But, I’d rather the hurling than the football”.

I had looked up the rates for the casual trader licenses on the Dublin Council website and tentatively asked John if he has one. “Oh yeah, I’m working right now. It’s €38 for Croke Park days and €25 for down the o2.”

If you want to make a living as a casual trader it seems you have to put the hours in.

“You have to be pro-active now”, John tells me. “Years ago there was a handful of us doing it and now there’s hundreds out”. John says he’ll be out two hours before the first match of the day.

I ask him if he just does Croke Park and he scoffs and tells me he’ll be at the o2 and anywhere else hosting a big event, all year round.

Casual traders selling hats, flags and headbands (with a nod to the enterprising ladies who sell 3 chocolate bars for a pound, out of a pram) have been around since the 1960’s. Before that I’m told that it was customary for men to pin pennants featuring the stars of the day to the lapels of their suit jackets. I ask the oldest person I have to hand, (my dad, 60), what he remembers them selling. “Rosettes, paper hats and miniature dolls to wear on one’s chest”, he tells me.

“When it rained, the dye in the paper hats ran down your face”. This led, he says, to many a person in the stadium sitting or standing with what looked like a county colours face-painting job gone wrong.

I quickly see how the (cotton/cowboy) hats, flags and headbands took over.

Whilst they need not diversify much, competition appears to have made the business even harder.

“You have your good days and your bad days”, John tells me.

Dubs matches, I enquire, must be the best days?

John is quick to reply: “No. You’d be surprised. Dubs in an All-Ireland final, maybe, but what you want is a team that doesn’t get to Croke Park often, a team that hasn’t been up here in years. They buy the most souvenirs.”

I chance my arm and ask him who his best ever customers were. For a moment, he stares off into the distance, a grin grows on his face, and, eventually, he replies: “Donegal, 1992”.

Yeah?

“Yeah. I went up on the Saturday, the day before the final and I cleaned up.”

That heart-warming story aside, he has nothing but scorn for the “drunk northerners” who booze all the way down on the coach and then interfere with his stall when they get off the bus.

“Messy fuckers”, he says.

To round off, I ask him will he be at the Limerick-Kilkenny Hurling semi-final the next day.

Almost before I finish the question he replies:

“Oh, rain, hail or snow. Rain, hail or snow.”

I was at that game myself and we had both rain and hail. Sure enough, there he was, plastic covers shielding his wares and extolling the virtues of a Limerick flag to a potential customer as I walked by.

*“John” refused to tell me his name.[/QUOTE]

Nice work, Thraw. Great topic. Everybody will be interested. One or two things I think if you don’t mind. Please feel free to completely disregard them.

-Your strongest points are the two clearest images buses full of Nordies, and the sneaking off to donegal to make a killing (the sly dog) bit. We can really imagine them. It’s a killer line about being out of work30 years ago and giving it a try.
The end is cute and we like the fact that he’s there, it wraps the article up nicely.

I have a bit of a problem with your persona in it. It’s a little wishy washy and there’s a fair bit of it. I mean that you come across as a bit apologetic, polite and naive. Either way it’s not too appealing to me.
I think you should either)
a) go the full gonzo journalism style and make yourself bigger in it (i imagine him being aggressive and maybe thinking you’re the taxman), obviously this involves a fair bit of exaggeration and imagination. or
b) withdraw yourself from it and concentrating on the stories he paints rather than the interaction between you.

I’d go with b with a view to getting it in print but what the fuck do I know. From a writing point of view it might be interesting to try the above and see how you get on.

Fair play though the hardest bit is actually writing the stuff and the second hardest is letting other people see it and criticise it so you’re well on your way.

664

They were three quid and two fifty a few weeks ago.

665

[QUOTE=“Juhniallio, post: 1008023, member: 53”]
b) withdraw yourself from it and concentrating on the stories he paints rather than the interaction between you.

I’d go with b with a view to getting it in print but what the fuck do I know. From a writing point of view it might be interesting to try the above and see how you get on.
.[/QUOTE]

I agree with you there. I probably didn’t talk to him for long enough. I might go up on Sunday morning and talk to a few more of the scoundrels and let them all do the talking so I don’t have to fill anything in. I actually have a heap more questions I’d like to ask your man himself anyway.

Thanks for the critique Juhni, it’s exactly what I’m looking for and I much appreciate it.

666

[QUOTE=“Juhniallio, post: 1008023, member: 53”]Nice work, Thraw. Great topic. Everybody will be interested. One or two things I think if you don’t mind. Please feel free to completely disregard them.

-Your strongest points are the two clearest images buses full of Nordies, and the sneaking off to donegal to make a killing (the sly dog) bit. We can really imagine them. It’s a killer line about being out of work30 years ago and giving it a try.
The end is cute and we like the fact that he’s there, it wraps the article up nicely.

I have a bit of a problem with your persona in it. It’s a little wishy washy and there’s a fair bit of it. I mean that you come across as a bit apologetic, polite and naive. Either way it’s not too appealing to me.
I think you should either)
a) go the full gonzo journalism style and make yourself bigger in it (i imagine him being aggressive and maybe thinking you’re the taxman), obviously this involves a fair bit of exaggeration and imagination. or
b) withdraw yourself from it and concentrating on the stories he paints rather than the interaction between you.

I’d go with b with a view to getting it in print but what the fuck do I know. From a writing point of view it might be interesting to try the above and see how you get on.

Fair play though the hardest bit is actually writing the stuff and the second hardest is letting other people see it and criticise it so you’re well on your way.[/QUOTE]
This is spot on. Quoting your dad too seems a bit amateurish. Find an aul fella going to the match maybe wearing or buying a colour. Try get quotes from other hawkers and definitely a few of the women. ask them about going down the country for games. Especially around Leinster a lot of the traders around provincial grounds are still dubs. Get a sense of the ‘them and us’ into it. These type of dubs are an essential part of the GAA match day experience yet the GAA and most GAA people wouldn’t give a fuck for or have any real time for inner city dubs like that beyond thinking they’re ‘gas characters’ and more probably ‘gurriers’.

667

[QUOTE=“Juhniallio, post: 1008023, member: 53”]Nice work, Thraw. Great topic. Everybody will be interested. One or two things I think if you don’t mind. Please feel free to completely disregard them.

-Your strongest points are the two clearest images buses full of Nordies, and the sneaking off to donegal to make a killing (the sly dog) bit. We can really imagine them. It’s a killer line about being out of work30 years ago and giving it a try.
The end is cute and we like the fact that he’s there, it wraps the article up nicely.

I have a bit of a problem with your persona in it. It’s a little wishy washy and there’s a fair bit of it. I mean that you come across as a bit apologetic, polite and naive. Either way it’s not too appealing to me.
I think you should either)
a) go the full gonzo journalism style and make yourself bigger in it (i imagine him being aggressive and maybe thinking you’re the taxman), obviously this involves a fair bit of exaggeration and imagination. or
b) withdraw yourself from it and concentrating on the stories he paints rather than the interaction between you.

I’d go with b with a view to getting it in print but what the fuck do I know. From a writing point of view it might be interesting to try the above and see how you get on.

Fair play though the hardest bit is actually writing the stuff and the second hardest is letting other people see it and criticise it so you’re well on your way.[/QUOTE]
That’s some good advice.

I liked the piece Thraw. As Juhy says, it’s a bit more unusual to have you as a character in the piece, but Kimmage writes like that and does it very well so it can be done and it’s interesting when it works. But you have to get the balance right. I think you can rely on people realising you’re the narrator without some of the “I see” “I reply” “I enquire” bits. Keep the interaction but you don’t need to explicitly identify yourself. The other style you use “Yeah?” and “What got him into it” is more effective I think. You can probably have too much of that too but I’d lean that way.

To me, when you say “I’m shocked already…” that’s good because you’re creating a dialogue and a scene. But when you say “I enquire” it’s forcing the conversation a bit too much because we are expecting a dialogue from the way the piece is structured so you don’t need to tell us that you’re asking questions. Just try and tell us the question and break it up between direct ones “Yeah?” and the more indirect ones “Dubs matches must be the best days.” I think is better without the “I enquire” in the middle.

Agreed on the length probably being optimum for publication somewhere but would be good to add to it and then have it cut down.

668

1960’s? Commonly written but incorrectly so?

669

Conflicting views @Appendage, but generally regarded as acceptable. It’s more of a style guide thing than a strict rule.

670

@Tabby[/USER] and [USER=1]@Rocko

Very good criticisms. I’ll go back to it. It can be improved, clearly. A fresh pair of eyes, or 10, is fucking invaluable.

671

[QUOTE=“Thrawneen, post: 1008066, member: 129”]@Tabby[/USER] and [USER=1]@Rocko

Very good criticisms. I’ll go back to it. It can be improved, clearly. A fresh pair of eyes, or 10, is fucking invaluable.[/QUOTE]
I probably should have spent more time at the start praising it because it is very good. But I felt the Like rating I gave it said more than my prose ever could.

672

Holy God, the features ed. of the IT came back to me on it…!

673

Savage, man. That’s fucking brilliant.

674

Ah he’s probably drunk or something. It is Thursday, after all.

675

@Thrawneen

Personally I think you should put a catalogue of these short stories together maybe before looking for print. Maybe keep the Gaa related angle.
If so, other options would be Gardai who regularly work on Croke Park days. There is an elderly character who works in Semple Stadium on match days sorting programmes.
Keep the pieces related to people behind the scenes of big match days & why they do what they do. Whether it’s their interest or love of the game, whether it’s merely for financial gain as per your first subject.

Most of the modern day Match Day Programmes are very monotonous to read & an article of said figures behind the scenes of Match Day would be interesting for the reader IMO.

676

Features ed. got back. They’re going to run it as soon as I get a photo of the chap and his name.

Debuting in the IT! I feel like how Michael Knighton must have done doing his keepie-uppies at Old Trafford!

677

@Thrawneen
Please copy & paste your musings into the Things are Right Thread. This thread is not worthy. :clap:

To @Thrawneen & his new found initiative. :pint::clap::clap:

678

This journalism crack is a piece of piss.

This time next week I’ll be on an assignment with a tab spent on two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.

679

[QUOTE=“Thrawneen, post: 1008096, member: 129”]This journalism crack is a piece of piss.

This time next week I’ll be on an assignment with a tab spent on two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.[/QUOTE]
Ever considered an article on the casual cannabis smoker? Cannabis is so widely used by a largely different demographic of people within current society.
I can’t ever remember reading a detailed article on the subject.
Okay, most people tar the average pot smoker as a “waster” or “benefit taking” type when in reality a large degree of smokers I know hold down very good well paid professions.

Thoughts?

680

[QUOTE=“carryharry, post: 1008100, member: 1517”]Ever considered an article on the casual cannabis smoker? Cannabis is so widely used by a largely different demographic of people within current society.
I can’t ever remember reading a detailed article on the subject.
Okay, most people tar the average pot smoker as a “waster” or “benefit taking” type when in reality a large degree of smokers I know hold down very good well paid professions.

Thoughts?[/QUOTE]
Ok. Why don’t you fuck off with your shit suggestions, carryharry.