Worst Excuse Ever!

Man blames Mars bar addiction after biting his girlfriend for wearing ‘Bridget Jones pants’.

A man who bit his girlfriend because she wore Bridget Jones style big pants instead of a thong has blamed his 10 Mars bars-a-day habit, a court heard.

Marco Fella, aged 38, claims his bizarre behaviour was caused by an addiction to sugar which made him eat the Mars bars.

Jobless Fella, from Callington, Cornwall, had been living with his 34-year-old girlfriend for a year but attacked her twice in the space of ten days, Bodmin magistrates’ court heard.

Magistrates heard how he hit her in the face with a rope used as a dog toy and then bit her finger.

Fella admitted two common assaults and his sentencing was adjourned for probation reports.

Miss Janet Furlonger, prosecuting, said Fella bit the woman’s finger in an argument which started because he wanted her to wear a thong and she had put on ‘large pants’.

The prosecutor said Fella hit her in the face with the rope a few days earlier in another row and told police he had a short temper.

Mr Martin Pearce, defending, said Fella had an addiction to sugar which led him to eat 10 Mars bars a day.

He said he became aggressive if he did not get enough sugar but has now started an anger management course.

He said: ‘My client’s temper snapped because he felt his partner was not making enough effort in the relationship but he is now deeply sorry for his actions.’

Poor Fella

a warning to all ladies who are tempted by big knickers…

His reaction was a bit extreme but i can see where he was coming from - big knickers are unacceptable. I bet she wears dental floss now.

The captain of the cruise liner that sank in Italy has said the only reason he abandoned ship was because he tripped and fell into a lifeboat which in turn was lowered into the water before he had a chance to get out


[quote=“The Runt, post: 218636”]The captain of the cruise liner that sank in Italy has said the only reason he abandoned ship was because he tripped and fell into a lifeboat which in turn was lowered into the water before he had a chance to get out


[quote=“The Runt, post: 218636”]
The captain of the cruise liner that sank in Italy has said the only reason he abandoned ship was because he tripped and fell into a lifeboat which in turn was lowered into the water before he had a chance to get out

[/quote]This guy is being stitched up royally by the cruise company

Is anyone else beginning to like this guy?

Yeah, they’re leaking stories left, right and centre and he’s shipping lots of criticism.

There’s potential here to make some cheap jokes about the cruise liner, but I’m not going to sink to that level.

Typical of cunts like Bandage and Runt to barge on in with the jokes so early. They couldn’t let things ebb and flow for a bit and had to go straight over board.

I’ll have some stern words with the two buoys, if they don’t row back I’ll deck both of them.

That’s all well and good but it’s the captain we need to worry about. I hope he can prevent himself from drowning in this sea of negative publicity.

Ha, he seems an alright sort…reminds me a lot of this guy actually…“Whatta mistake’a to make’a”.


THE CAPTAIN of the Costa Concordia was drinking and dining with a young blonde Moldovan woman just before his vessel ran aground off the island of Giglio, it has emerged.
Domnica Cemortan, a cruise ship passenger rep and former dancer, was also reported to have been on the bridge with Francesco Schettino on the night of the disaster.

Several passengers claimed they saw Mr Schettino and a woman resembling Miss Cemortan sharing a decanter of red wine shortly before the disaster.

On Thursday night investigators were trying to trace the 25-year-old as they believe she may be able to shed light on what happened when the cruise liner collided with a rocky outcrop off Giglio and capsized, leading to the loss of at least 11 lives.

Mr Schettino, 52, who is under house arrest in Meta di Sorrento near Naples, is accused of sailing too close to the island to give a ''salute’’ to an old friend and his head waiter’s family, and of later abandoning ship when hundreds of his passengers were still trapped on board.

The Italian media claimed Miss Cemortan had been invited on to the bridge on the night of the accident. She was said to have been there at the moment of impact. Earlier on Thursday, Miss Cemortan admitted that she had been on the bridge with Mr Schettino, who has a wife and daughter.

She insisted it was not until after the collision, when it is thought she may have been called on to help address the passengers in Russian. “I was on the bridge at 11.50pm and he was there,” Miss Cemortan told the Moldovan newspaper Adevarul (Truth).

Passengers suggested the pair had been enjoying dinner together half an hour before the Concordia careered into rocks and suffered a catastrophic gash in its hull.

An Italian couple, Angelo Fabbri and his wife Eleonora Rossi, inadvertently photographed the couple at 8.44pm as they took pictures of the dishes served to them in the Club Concordia restaurant. “Schettino, in a dark uniform, was seated in front of the woman,”

Mr Fabbri, from Savona in northern Italy, told an Italian newspaper. “She seemed young, first of all we thought she might be his daughter. They were laughing, they seemed very happy. There’s no doubt that they drank the whole decanter, the last drops were poured into the captain’s wine glass.”

According to the passengers, the captain, the woman and another officer sat down to a four course meal of prawn cocktail, rice with gorgonzola and asparagus, grilled swordfish and dessert, with the wine.

“They stayed until 9.05pm, I know that for sure because, to record the evening, we photographed the dishes and in one, timed at 9.02pm, the captain and the woman were still at the table,” said Mr Fabbri.

“He seemed to me a bit of a braggart, in contrast with other cruise captains that we’ve travelled with.”

The captain reportedly left the restaurant with the woman and the officer at 9.05pm, 37 minutes before the collision. He has insisted to investigators that he did not drink alcohol that night. Mr Schettino faces at least 12 years in jail if convicted of abandoning his ship and multiple counts of manslaughter.

Italian judicial authorities want to interview Miss Cemortan. It is believed she was not working on the Costa Concordia.

Interviewed by a Telegraph reporter on Saturday at the Hilton Hotel in Rome’s Fiumicino airport, she defended of the captain’s actions, saying he had saved lives by steering the ship towards Giglio’s harbour and grounding it close to the shore.

Francesco Verusio, the chief prosecutor, was not available for comment but a spokesman said he “could not confirm or deny” that Miss Cemortan was being sought for questioning.

  • Nick Squires on Giglio and Victoria Ward in Meta di Sorrento

Theres a pic of her here http://www.independent.ie/world-news/europe/mystery-of-the-blonde-on-the-bridge-of-doomed-cruise-liner-with-captain-coward-2995035.html

He may be shaping up as a convenient lightening rod for the Cruise company, but he’s some piece of oily work. The bottom line is that at sea, the buck stops with the Captain, whe is wholely responsible for the ship and its crew and passengers.

The recorded exchange with the Coastguard commander was priceless. If the commander had been there he’d have frog-marched the captain back on board. The final nail in the captain’s coffin is that an off-duty captain stayed on-board and did the very things that Captain Coward should have been doing.

Hard to blame him really.

Ah ya she’s not bad.

He should have tried the “its my first day” excuse

It’s a wonderful testimony to the quality of the restaurant on the Costa Concordia that the Captain dined there himself. You’d sometimes wonder about the food you’re getting in environments where the paying public don’t have much competition and might suspect the Captain would have brought a few sandwiches on board but the food must be excellent. What a PR boost for the cruise company.