I did get an unprovoked smack over my left eye from some coked-up nutjob in Playa del Ingles a few years back. He literally took a run at me and before I had time to react (bear in mind I have cat-like reactions) he gave me a dig and legged it off again. But I actually don’t think I’ve been in a fight since primary school in what would have been one of those typical incidents where everyone gathered around in a huge circle shouting, ‘fight, fight, fight’, and refusing to let either of the ‘competitors’ out of the circle.
Those who know me probably know that I’m a mouthy enough prick at times / most of the time and there’s been the odd pub / club incident where I’ve said something to someone and they’ve considered thumping me but surprisingly nobody ever has. I did win that fight in 6th class though - gave the lad a right beating it has to be said.
I particulalry await Rocko’s tales of raging violence on Fingal football pitches and that romantic story of how he won over his fiancee. The latter story is up here already somewhere but it deserves another airing.
It wasn’t a fight as such but I swung a punch at a guy in Coppers who tried to nick my rather expensive round of drinks but didnt connect. I got kicked out and the lads had it way with my vodkas.
got in a bit of a scuffle sthere the end of the summer.
some dickhead accused me of stearling his birds drink.
i asked him what the fuck i’d be doin drinkin that pink shit.
a bit of a barney ensued where he brought my mass and parentage into question. so upon being called a fat bastard i kicked him in the nuts and punched him in the face. his two brothers jumped in and pinned me on the ground covered in a load of broken glass while my mates and his other mates went to town on each other.
anyway before i knew it a fella picked me up (presume it was a bouncer)and brought me out the back i was escorted off the premises by a few more bouncers after i tried to run back in for round 2
turns out the lad i was fightin owned the joint but he is such a scumbag and hated by the whole town that the bouncers never barred me or even gave me a hidin as you would expect if you attacked their employer. which was nice.
Very nearly in one a couple of weeks ago on the DART. Some absolute scumbag got on at Clontarf and started shouting shit at me and pretending to hit me. Was there with Mrs Rock and she wasn’t best pleased by it all so I stared back at him for a bit and then just moved up the carriage. Then yer man hit some foreign lad a smack on the jaw with a full can of beer and some other punter rang the Garda. The scumbag had a few mates with him but I’m still surprised nobody else physically intervened. The lad who got hit went off down the carriage and one other guy in fairness to him stood up to the prick and basically told him he’d kick the shit out of him if he did anything else. Garda never came by the way.
Used to get in some big scrapes at soccer matches. First season there was a match at home to East Wall and those lads brought about 20 guys with them to watch the match, so they were keen on fighting from the start. Not long left when a guy went in with a two footed challenge on one of our lads (Larryduff on here). I (think I) loafed him in retaliation and then it all kicked off from both sides. We’d a few lads on the team who can “look after themselves” and there was another match after ending nearby so we’d another team passing by. Anyway there was a huge brawl on the pitch with 40 people maybe involved all kicking the shit out of eachother. Don’t really know how it stopped but it calmed down eventually and me and some other guy got red cards. Mine was overturned on appeal though.
Loads more fights in intervening matches but the next really big one was kind of the end of the team. Playing against some crowd from Ballymun and I tackled one of their lads near the sideline. His mate came over and stamped on my stomach completely on purpose. So I got a free and play went on and then off the ball I tripped yer man up by giving him a little kick on the ankles. Once again it all kicked off. I got hit a couple of vicious digs (2 black eyes for my troubles, looked class in work) and I think it’s fair to say they were better fighters than us. They had a guy sent off and we’d still 11 players. The match went on but I’d some sore head on me. That kind of ended that soccer team, guys just stopped turning up for training and matches because they reckoned they didn’t want to be involved in fights every week. Fair enough I suppose.
Outside the soccer pitch I can’t really remember my last fight. Had a few in my school days and one memorable spell in college where I got in 3 fights in 3 weeks. At this time I was hanging around with Mrs Rock who was sort of going out with someone else at the time. Week 1 was some prick in UCD and I can’t even remember what it was over. It was outside the bar anyway and someone probably slagged someone or something and I got in a boxing match with him. Went back home in a taxi with Mrs Rock who said something ridiculously complimentary about my fighting skills.
Week 2 was a bit shit really. Again it was outside the bar in UCD and this time some stupid bird was slagging me about something. So I shouted some shite back at her and she came over and started on me. I was just standing there while this dozy bitch threw a couple of half slaps and I called her a cunt or something. Her mate (a bloke) came over then and tried to get involved but it all ended in a bit of pushing and shoving. Again witnessed by Mrs Rock and her then relationship was on the rocks a bit - they’d had a big argument earlier and he’d fucked off home but she’d waited around to get a taxi with this tough bastard from the wrong side of tracks.
Week 3 was a cracking fight. Standing around the pool table in the UCD bar and there was money down in the normal queuing order. And some lad blatantly skipped the queue. I didn’t play much pool in UCD because I was shite at it but all my mates played it all day every day so I was fairly well versed in the etiquette and watched pool all day so always knew who was next up. Anyway I wasn’t playing or in the queue but one of my mates was. The main point though was that this prick had only put his money down 2 minutes and he felt he was next. I told him he wasn’t, he said it was none of my business, we squared up and then we’d a bit of pushing and shoving. Anyway I got pulled away a bit and to be fair it wasn’t really anything to do with me so we left yer man play ahead. A few minutes later he was soundly beaten in the pool and I saw him heading into the jacks. Thought I’d follow him in and renew acquaintances. Politely waited for him to finish pissing before I gave him another shove. He pushed back and then we started swinging. To my eternal credit I managed to wrestle the fucker into the filthy trough urinal at UCD. He sort of hung on to me to try and pull me in too but I kept my feet. He was grabbing me by the coat though and the zip cut my neck when it got too tight. He got back out and there were more digs and then a bit of grappling and the two of us were on the floor thumping eachother. At this stage I’m sure I was covered in piss too but I didn’t have the indignity of having been in a urinal. Someone else who was in there had obviously called the bouncers though because next thing I knew we were pulled apart and dragged outside. Student cards were confiscated and we were ejected from campus. Mrs Rock came outside to see how I was and got a taxi home with me. Got out at Mrs Rock’s gaff where she brought me inside and dressed my neck wounds with some TCP or shite while her dad looked on and wondered what the fuck her daughter had brought home. Left it another week until she’d called it with the old fella and then scored here in Juhy’s gaff while Juhy wasn’t looking (he was big mates with the old fella).
The fights were a key part in winning the affection of Mrs Rock. They got me attention first off which is a big thing in getting a girl obviously. They also proved my manliness which is an old fashioned quality but shouldn’t be dismissed as a relic in these changed times. And she got to nurse me which created a physical bond between us. So the advice to the single lads out there is to go out with fists flying wherever ye may go tonight. It’s the surest path to true love.
Following the dude to the jacks is the definition of scumbagness. He was in the wrong at the pool table so that is where you should have confronted him even if it had nothing to do with you. He was jumping the queue ahead of your mate so you had the right to take umbridge with that. I would have squared up to him there and then. You would still have probably got all the cuts and bruises for Mrs Rock to tend but would have the noticeable absense of piss which is never good. Following him to the jacks just made it look as if you were looking for the fight instead of justifiably standing up to him and fighting him if necessary.
I get a lot of blokes trying to start fights with me because of my height. I had one instance at home in Mohill where there was a guy that was a few years above me in school. Myself and my brother were there together and another mate. My brother is also well over 6 foot. We were chatting away minding our own business when thsi guy started staring us of it. I ignored him for a while but then he came over and walked literally through us on the way to the jacks. I hit him a dig with my elbow as he walked past - nothing major. He turned around and squared up to me. There was a lot of words passed like ‘what are you going to do about it’ and stuff like that until I figured that all this guy wanted was a fight. I said that I shouldn’t have hit him the dig and let’s just forget it. He wasn’t having it but eventually walked away back to his mates. Then he kept staring me out of it again. I ignored him again.
Then a week later I happened to be in the same pub this time with a few mates somewhat on the small side. Yer man was there and started staring me out of it again. I had enough of it at this stage and approached him and asked him what t’fuck he was looking at? He staright away went on the defensive and said he wasn’t looking. I said to him that I thought we cleared this up last week and to fucking stop looking at me. I sensed some support for me from his mates so I asked one of them what he thought. His words were ‘all I know is that you’re sound and he’s a cunt’
I had won and humiliated yer man in the process. Good feeling. Sometimes the fight is not always the way of winning.
[quote=“farmerinthecity”]Great stuff. A few observations:
Following the dude to the jacks is the definition of scumbagness. He was in the wrong at the pool table so that is where you should have confronted him even if it had nothing to do with you. He was jumping the queue ahead of your mate so you had the right to take umbridge with that. I would have squared up to him there and then. You would still have probably got all the cuts and bruises for Mrs Rock to tend but would have the noticeable absense of piss which is never good. Following him to the jacks just made it look as if you were looking for the fight instead of justifiably standing up to him and fighting him if necessary.
[/quote]
Fair enough but a potential fight at the pool table was stopped because there were too many people around who broke it up and also it would have maybe lasted 10 seconds before bouncers got involved. Also bar fights run the risk of glasses being involved which is horrible stuff. You get none of that messing in your lavatory scrap.
Having said all that I was a bit of a prick at times in college. Way too many fights for me to have been in the right all the time.
I can’t understand why somebody would start a fight with you because of your height Farmer. If anything they should feel intimidated. Having said that, scum bags are generally not well endowed in the brain area!
I saw some scumbag hit some punter for no apparent reason last night. Some punter started shaping up to Ben last night too. I saw intent in yer mans eyes but he never did anything. I thought a ruck was inevitable.
Remember one which didn’t really develop into a full scale fight when some dickhead objected to my being unimpressed with his ‘‘stupid cunt’’ of a girlfriend playing darts when some serious operators wanted some proper arrows action, when he failed in seeking some apology from me about some slur on some girl he attempted to headbutt me. At this point Sledgehammer laid into him and the force of this intervention sent both through the door of the jacks just as another mate was coming out and thus became involved. As bouncers swarmed in I made a quick get away as I was leaving for town soon anyway and didn’t want my student card confiscated again so soon after a previous false sexual harrasment case.
Most fights in that bar were actually started by Harry the barman though, because he just loves a row.
Got dropped in a Niteclub in Cork around 7 years ago. Worked in a place where you wear suits to work and went straight out after work one Friday night. Was as drunk as a lord in the disco but I’d be of the merry variety, no nasty stuff with me. Was walking* through the crowd of people after taking my 15th slash that night when a creamer came up and flopped me with with a headbutt. I then got kicked in the head twice before he fooked off. Never saw the guy before or since, reckon I got the treatment for being in a suit.
*more of a stumble through the crowd as I was pished at the time.