Loyalism/Unionism built itself on a cliff. Up there, you cannot credibly complain about coastal erosion.
Right until almost the last moment in the late 1910s, the Unionist community looked at the options around a federal nine county Ulster that would both be in Ireland and in the UK via the Commonwealth. I believe this option would have provided best and fairest choice. This aspect of the tangle has been airbrushed from history by revisionist historians who approve of partition not just in pragmatic terms but in absolute terms. Loyalism/Unionism is not a democratically orientated culture but merely a majoritarian one for its own ends.
You reap what you sow. Will take a while yet but the six county Ulster statelet will fall into the sea. I know plenty of Unionists who have long accepted this reality.