Annoying Office Jargon - Part III


#1

An old forum favourite is this one.

I heard something particularly awful at a meeting today:

‘We’re facing into ever increasing headwinds.’

Headwinds? Get outta here.


#2

‘At the end of the day we are where we are’ is my personal favourite.


#3

The next couple of quarters are going to see a significant ramp up in the amount of time spent on blah blah blah


#4

“i was talking to your manager earlier Jugs and she said you have some capacity this afternoon”

what the fook are you talking about you retard? capacity for what? food? beer? why don’t you just ask me whether i’m busy or not you stupid fooking coont


#5

What I hate is when a manager goes stop posting on tfk and get to work.


#6

Anyone ever have dealings with someone in work who uses the phrase ‘and all that good stuff’ in a sarcastic manner to try have banter with you.

It’s beginning to fooking wreck my head.

For example, ‘Have you read the reports and all that good stuff?!’

It’s usually said with a smile and relates to a client that’s annoying everyone so it’s not actually ‘good stuff’ at all.

‘I don’t envy you having to go to that meeting listening to their projections and all that other good stuff!’

It’s making me angry.


#7

“all that good stuff” oh dear that one winds me up as well.


#8

“It’s a grey area”

“At the end of the day…”

Two of my bosses favourites,the whore’s arse.


#9

The one that annoys me is when someone comes up with a new word that no-one has used before and then everyone uses it for about 2 weeks. The latest one in here is iteration - I’m in this job 3 years and have never heard this word being used around here before. Now everyone seems to be trying to cram it into every sentence possible.


#10

Value!


#11

That’s a cracking shout Mac. I noticed something like that in here over the last month or so. One person started using the phrase ‘dry-eyed’. At first I didn’t have a fooking clue what it meant but then a few others started throwing it in every now and then. Gradually I came to realise it’s used in the context of a client getting a bit annoyed with us for not budging over the terms of a deal but we stand our ground despite this, ‘I’m just off the phone to them and they’re getting very aggressive but to be honest I’m fairly dry-eyed about the situation.’ Like, what the fook.


#12

“Like” as in when people put it before or after sentences i.e Do you know what I mean like? or Like, thats so unfair.

I mean, cut it out like http://www.thefreekick.com/board/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif


#13

[quote=“Flano”]“Like” as in when people put it before or after sentences i.e Do you know what I mean like? or Like, thats so unfair.

I mean, cut it out like http://www.thefreekick.com/board/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif[/quote]

Don’t ever go to Cork boy!!!


#14

That’s not necessarily office jargon though - just something that’s crept into everyday language in parts of the country. I’m thinking of phrases such as ‘Let’s get all our ducks in a row before we make the phone call.’


#15

“Can you have that on my desk by Close of Business Friday”

Whats the point? You’re not going to look at it over the weekend so why not ask to have it first thing on Monday? And why would I put it on your desk when I usually email you everything? You’re the one who made us put that stupid “Please consider the environment before printing this email” slogan at the end of all our emails.


#16

I was only joking Bandage, I noticed you had said “Like, what the fook” and just thought I’d be cheeky http://www.thefreekick.com/board/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif


#17

Ah, I see. I hadn’t copped.

‘Apologies for the confusion but…’ might be in order here. I always use this in emails when I blatantly neglect to do something I’m meant to and that have to worm out of it a few days or weeks later.


#18

[quote=“Mac”]“Can you have that on my desk by Close of Business Friday”
[/quote]

Close of business is one that gets me. Why not just say half five?


#19

[quote=“Bandage”]Anyone ever have dealings with someone in work who uses the phrase ‘and all that good stuff’ in a sarcastic manner to try have banter with you.
[/quote]

Oh yes - I once had a lecturer who said that all the time.

‘Remember budgets and all that good stuff?’

Bugged the hell out of me. It didn’t help that the same lecturer was probably the ugliest looking yoke I ever had the misfortune to lay my eyes on.


#20

Was at a meeting earlier where part of it involved us discussing why we hadn’t followed up on action points from a previous meeting. We were talking away for a good while before one of the lads came out with, ‘It might be best to kick this to touch and move on.’