Some gimp rings another gimp who isn’t available and has to leave a message. Gimp 2 returns gimp 1’s call only to find gimp 1 is unavailable and has to leave a message. The same thing happens a couple of times. Eventually the two gimps get to speak and gimp 1 goes “ah finally got you, bit of phone tennis going on there for a while” followed by fake laughter. Fuck off you sad cunt.[/quote]
Tremendous shout.
Did you ever deal with some cunt over the phone and on email for a while before eventually having a face-to-face meeting and they go:
‘Ah, it’s good to put a face to the name at last.’
Really? You give a shit about what some random fellow male you deal with irregularly through your job looks like?
conference call to the states earlier. these things are usually a disaster, time difference means we’re all waiting to go home while the world and it’s mother prattles on incessantly about god knows what.
heard this little nugget:
“it’s got real traction. when the rubber hits the road this thing’s going to run and run”
[quote=“Bandage”]This ‘bates’ all, as they’d say in Wexford, and literally just happened here:
‘You need to keep checking the milk before putting it on your cornflakes - that’s just the way things are in the market.’
I want to go home after listening to that.[/quote]
What about people who put the milk in the bowl first, then into the microwave, and then put the flakes in after this.
Looks like they didn’t have all their ducks in a row before coming out with that beauty. I expect they thought they would just throw that in teh pan and see if it would sizzle and then got burned.
Great thread this. Hard to believe some of these statements could actually come out of people.
The best I’ve ever witnessed in a meeting was when we were discussing plans with a partner company and somebody came out with “how we should continue the excellent ‘cross-pollinisation’ of ideas between both parties moving forward”.
2 classics yesterday at a workshop I was taking part in:
When going through the ground rules at the beginning, one of the punters said “There’s no such thing as a stupid question today”… eh yes there are
I asked the fucker sitting beside me who he worked for and he said:
“I work for “xyz collaborative”, its an idea not an organisation” Unbelievable shite altogether.
no problem with the face to names thing… In my last job I was on a global project team and after a couple of meonth s of conference calls it was great craci when we got to meet a of them… Kinda shock when the american were not all rednecks and a few of them were from different creeds and colours… but fcuk it they probably were expecting us to rob their lucky charms.
Anyway back to the subject… heard a dinger this morning…
I said, in refernce to a project that there was some light at the end of the tunnel, to which the response came…
" There better be, because there is a train a commin’ " Jennet
[quote=“Spidey”]An alternative to ‘Let’s run this one up the flagpole and see how she flies’
‘Let’s lift the covers on this and have a sniff’
Dying to use it.[/quote]
Hmmm,
Another I heard was of a salesguy saying “We’re shaking all the trees and seeing what will fall, but then it’s a matter of turning fruit to cash”.
Shocking stuf, but I have to confess I think it’s all great fun.