Having announced my retirement from auditing today I’ve decided I need a fresh challenge. For this reason I’m putting my name forward for the vacant managerial position at thefreekick.com.
Why am I right for this position?
Oversaw last Monday night’s immense victory over La Manga.
Have worked under such luminaries as Ian Evans, Tony Mannion and therock67’s auld wan.
Feel I can help farmerinthecity realise his full potential.
Promise to stamp out Juhniallio’s disciplinary problems.
Only in the team a wet week am I, but if a fella thinks he can sort out my disciplinary problems, I’m all for it. A word of warning though, the Rock67 and indeed Rock 67’s aul lad have been just two of the managers who have failed to sort out said disciplinary problem. So come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough.
‘Oversaw last Monday night’s immense victory over La Manga.’
This is the same man who refused to take the team talk the other night, leaving it up to my good self to give a passionate oration to the side.
If I recall correctly Rocko said he was reassuming full control before the start of the season but now Clarkey’s staked his claim then Rocko should respond with his own manifesto.
I took the teamtalk but used a subtle method of talking with the players as opposed to talking down to them which is what you had asked me to do. Keeping our shape and communicating with each other was the key. That’s what I said to them and that’s what won us the game. Game. Set. Match.
I would like the two perspective managers to answer the following posers. I encourage all tfk players to post questions whereby we might judge their suitability.
What would you do about Stephen Ireland if you were the current Irish manager?
What would you best alltime Ireland 11 be?
Choose preferred man management type: ‘arm around a player’ or ‘hairdryer’
Management preferences: suit or trackies, professorial or screamer, stand or technical area?
First things first - I’d give everyone on the team homework to be completed before the next game where they have to bring in a family tree on a big chart. Then I’d ask them all to put a big X through anyone in their family who is no longer alive. I’d retain a copy of each family tree in my office and would consult it for crude verification of bereavment excuses.
Following on from that I’d tell Stephen Ireland to cop himself on. He’s not going to get the slightest bit of abuse if he returns to the fold now.
Best alltime Ireland XI
_________ Jennings ____________
Irwin__ McGrath__Blanchflower__Carey
Best___Keane____Giles_____Brady
Aldridge__Armstrong_
Hairdryer. Nobody will be mollycoddled in my regime
Suit, serene, technical area.
Tracksuit occassionally when there’s a bit of coaching required, but I’m there for my football brain.
Mr Alf Stewart. I have lots of time for Miss Fletcher but Mr Stewart would never make a mistake like Sally is with Brad. There’s sensible and there’s plain boring.
I would like the two perspective managers to answer the following posers. I encourage all tfk players to post questions whereby we might judge their suitability.
What would you do about Stephen Ireland if you were the current Irish manager?
What would you best alltime Ireland 11 be?
Choose preferred man management type: ‘arm around a player’ or ‘hairdryer’
Management preferences: suit or trackies, professorial or screamer, stand or technical area?
Hairdryer. Nobody will be mollycoddled in my regime
This highlights one of Rocko’s limitations. ClarkeyCat, fragile as a buttercup as we all know, failed to track back (as he always does) in the first couple of minutes against El Zilcho. Rocko hauls him off. Clarkey’s “muscles” get cold, stiffen and when he comes back on he does his thigh. Out for 3 weeks. Poor management. What’s more is that Rocko replaced Clarkey with Jugs, who went on to miss 6 open goals and spent more time on his hole than on his feet.
And look at the results in Clarkey’s absence. There is no room for prima donnas in this team. The odd lapse in front of goal can be tolerated - failing to execute team instructions properly has been the cause of our downfall too often.
If Clarkey had warmed up properly he’d have been fine.
I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to win prizes.
