I’m a townie but I don’t hate boggers at all - in fact they give me some great entertainment and I even hang around with some of them. They do mad things like have shouldering competitions against each other in the middle of niteclubs and stuff and some of their other habits are class too. I think it’s hilarious the way they always drive with their front window fully rolled down and their right arm hanging out of the car and nearly scraping off trees in the ditch as they meander along some dirt track in the middle of nowhere. (This is generally how they get a suntan every summer). Boggers also love saluting each other when they’re driving and talking incessantly about the weather.
Of course your match day bogger is one of the funniest creatures on earth and I posted on this before. You’ll spot this type of bogger a mile off, especially if it’s a game in the capital. He’ll generally have a big weather-beaten face on him and big rosy, red cheeks (after being out cutting turf or engaging in some other bogger activity all week). An important bogger accessory is always the ‘v-neck Christmas jumper’. No self respecting bogger leaves home without one of these and the jumper usually has some kind of diamond pattern on it and is often brown or beige.
It’s crucial to note that the bogger never, ever wear jeans - he always wears ‘a pair of pants’. During the course of a close game the average bogger will be leaping out of his seat and the pants might become a little bit loose and slip down an inch or two. That is when you’re likely to be presented with an eyeful of bogger ass crack and most boggers will eventually notice themselves after a while before standing up again when the ball’s gone out of play and taking pleasure in yanking up their ‘pants’ in full view of everyone. But at least it means the rest of aren’t faced with a view of a pair of crusty yellow (white when initially purchased) y-fronts for the rest of the game.
The bogger will also be seen tucking into about 24 sandwiches over the course of the day’s games along with the loyal flask of tae (not tea) being present too. An uber-bogger might even be spotted munching on a turnip or carrot during a quiet spell in between matches. Boggers will be heard complaining loudly about ‘the price of tae and a sangwich’ in the shops in the stadium and will generally have black fingernails and bushy eyebrows.
The bogger is likely to use a load of foul language and spend most of the game abusing the referee before making several hypocritical and disparaging comments to his bogger friends about the behaviour of young rowdy supporters from a more urban county. He’ll head off after the game with about 8 other boggers crammed into the one car (at least 5 of whom shall be wearing peaked caps) and they’ll stop ‘once we get ouha Dublin’ for ‘an oul fade a’ beef’. They’ll have about 8 or 9 pints after dinner and then happily drink drive the rest of the way home.
I myself couldnt be anymore of a townie if I tried.
It’s all relative Flano. People in Dublin think anyone from outside the capital is a bogger. But people who come from county towns think people from rural parts of their counties are boggers and so on. I regard myself as cosmopolitan with an Irish core.
The Earl of Sandwich would be turning in his grave if he knew about the use of the word “sangwich”. Why cant boggers speak properly? I know a lot of people from outside of Dublin who have managed to rid themselves of their stupid native accents and sound fine. Not that I’m saying scumbag Dubliners are any different, most of them, junkie or not sound like they’re strung out. “AAAAALLLLLLRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIITEEEEE BOSSSSSS, whaaaaaaaaaaats da bleeeeeedin storrrrrrrrrrrreeeeee?” I really despair for mankind when I see some of the cretins that use public transport. Dolphins barn should be burnt out.
Anyway back on track.
I don’t agree with Bandages relativity view but I can see the logic behind it. Although I do remember the car park attendent in a place I used to work who used to think anywhere outside the city centre was bogland, bit of nutter.
Paninis are the business, buy them in a shop and make them at home, dead simple.
Something I’ve just remembered I saw a big buch of boggers looking for a boozer on Dame Street last night. Just one look at them and I knew it. The walk of them stood out, they dont walk right at all. 3 or 4 of them looked inbred too. “Wheres the pub?” I head one of them shout, I was tempted to shout back “They’re fooking everywhere ya booger coont now fook off outta my city, or at least to Coppers ”
Something I’ve just remembered I saw a big buch of boggers looking for a boozer on Dame Street last night. Just one look at them and I knew it. The walk of them stood out, they dont walk right at all. 3 or 4 of them looked inbred too. “Wheres the pub?” I head one of them shout, I was tempted to shout back “They’re fooking everywhere ya booger coont now fook off outta my city, or at least to Coppers ”
Ha ha. I love boggers.
Did you ever notice that when driving through a bogger village you generally see about 6 bogger blokes just standing outside the Post Office staring at all the cars going by for their daily excitement?
People from Dublin claiming to be ‘townies’ what the fcuk is going on here, the townie bogger thing is an internal culchie matter, get your act together lads…
“Do you not get it, lads? The Irish are the blacks of Europe. And Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland. And the Northside Dubliners are the blacks of Dublin. So say it once, say it loud: I’m black and I’m proud.”
“Do you not get it, lads? The Irish are the blacks of Europe. And Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland. And the Northside Dubliners are the blacks of Dublin. So say it once, say it loud: I’m black and I’m proud.”
As some of you may already know (Well Flano anyway) I’m into the odd bit of photography in my spare time. This photo I took has to be one of the more annoying aspects of being a Townie in Bogland!
I have to say that Bandage’s speel at the start disappointed me hugely. From the guy who told me to ask Flano for Ben Shermin’s number and say that I wanted to invite him out for a pint this is lazy…
‘Flask of tae (not tea)’. Being from Leitrim I would see my fair share of the people you are attempting describe, I am one myself actually, and I have never seen anyone do that at a match. And nobody says ‘tae’. And even if they did then it wouldn’t be funny.
You remind me of a guy I went to school with who gained a lot of credit for his creative writing skills eventhough I was so superior to him. His essays were littered with terms like that - just buying into the stereotype.
I can give you hillarious stories from characters down the country if you want but please don’t insult yourself by resorting to cheap tripe you put at the start of this thread
For instance I was in my local pub in Mohill one Saturday evening when one of the auld fellas came in. He is about 55, a batchelor and drinks far too much. According the owner behind the bar this was his second time in that day. He seemed to get a thrill out of saying the words ‘Peek A Boo’ all the time having only recently heard it from another auld fella in the pub. He asked me who I was (eventhough I told him a hundred times before). I said who I was and he said ‘Oh Peek a Boo’ as if to say that ‘I know you now’. Then the owner of the pub joined the conversation and out of nowhere yer man goes ‘I’m not gay’ to which she replied ‘I never said you were gay’. I was bricking myself laughing
“You remind me of a guy I went to school with who gained a lot of credit for his creative writing skills eventhough I was so superior to him. His essays were littered with terms like that - just buying into the stereotype.”
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