Business types. This evening I shall be attending a networking event. It’s not my normal bag at all. I’ll even be wearing a suit. A dinner ‘event’. Please log all advice here.
Go late - Leave Early
5 Likes
Don’t go. Fucking horrendous things.
The kinds of people that go to networking evenings are the kinds of people you don’t want to meet. If you have to go hang around in a corner, it’s where all the other normal people congregate to avoid the weirdos who go around introducing themselves and telling you a bit about what they do.
5 Likes
Is it an event specific to your industry or is it more like one of those BNI groups?
That sounds like great advice. Unfortunately, I’m going. And I really don’t want to. @TreatyStones It’s a trade event in a market we are brand new to and it’s followed by a day of speed-dating style meetings tomorrow with buyers. Basically we get tonight and tomorrow to impress a load of cunts and get them to try/buy our product. Any other practical advice lads?
I was at a Brexit one recently which I enjoyed. Eat politely, go easy on the wine and try not to hire any consultants working the room. Introduce ‘blockchain’ and ‘disruption’ into the conversation.
4 Likes
I heard about this event on the radio this morning I’d say. Sounds like it’s a bit more serious than your standard networking event.
If you think there is the potential for this event to provide I a serious upswing for your business then, ignore the above advice and dive into it. You might feel like a fraud doing it but just be relaxed, friendly and polite. Make the small talk and laugh at the stupid jokes. Fuck it business is business.
1 Like
Ah that’s a bit better than the usual networking events so, at least it has a specific purpose.
The best bit of advice I can give you is have free stuff to give away. Even pens or whatever, people love free shit, doesn’t matter how rich/important/succesful a man is he will always take a free pen. You can use it as an in then.
Also if possible have a prize to give away, a hamper of wine or something. Entrants have to give you their contact details (name, email phone number) to enter. Draw to be made after. Gives you an excuse to spam them after the event.
2 Likes
A couple of lines of personal beforehand so that you’re on top of your game, mate. Also, talk down to everyone you speak to, treat them like shit you’ve stepped in. You need to establish your superiority early and leave nobody in any doubt who the big swinging dick is.
11 Likes
For fuck sake.
2 Likes
I speak as a man who has sadly been to far too many of these things Fagan.
That’s a trade fair not a networking event. Please change the subject title.
Are they all frequented by Red Indians?
1 Like
It’s a little bit late for this. I’ll do it next time.
HOW do you mean?
Bring a few brown envelopes
Be nice to everyone bar the consultants and the obviously unhinged.
this is why most Irish people never achieve anything of note in the upper ecehlons of successful buisness, hiding in corners like roasters
5 Likes
With their pockets jangling with all the free pens and the raffle tickets for hamper rustling in their trousers
1 Like
Hey @Fagan, did you watch the reassembler on iplayer BBC yet?
I enjoyed it in a Sunday night sort of way.