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It’s almost like the Dazzler is prepping for life after RTÉ. Tooling up with qualifications is exactly what I should be doing, what with working in a wind down institution, but I don’t have the foresight & ambition of Frehill. I just worry that there’ll be another round of RTÉ redundancies soon & Darren will slip away quietly, like Con Murphy & others before him. It’d be some coup to employ him as your personal life/business/executive coach though - calling you by the wrong name, looking at case notes for other clients & inadvertently revealing confidential information but done so in a thoroughly engaging manner.
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Executive coaches are becoming ten a penny. There’s probably more Executive coaches in Ireland now than there are Executives
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I wasn’t aware of that and my actuarial comment on the Dazzler was somewhat tongue in cheek. Think final day of the NFL and he slaloming from one cock-up to the next.
If you’re explaining you’re losing pal.
I very much hope that doesn’t happen as I have high hopes for the Dazzler as a GAA match commentator, but it would be free him up to be the voice of women’s sevens rugby and break dancing for the world feed at the Olympics. He might even pop up commentating on a free illegal stream of New Zealand v Iraq in an inter-continental World Cup play-off from a broom cupboard in Deansgrange.
Hopefully the Dazzler gets the New York junket in Gaelic Park again this year.
No better man.
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I want 6 full minutes of colour reporting from Fifth Avenue, Greenwich Village, Woodside, the HQ of the Galway Association of New York and Ground Zero at the World Trade Centre with an image of the Dazzler looking upwards and quietly contemplating that special moment when the second plane crashed into the South Tower.
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If Darren cracked 400 points in that era, then I’m a Dutchman
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@Ceist Write me the pilot episode of a sitcom with Darren Frehill in his first week as a ‘fish out of water’ Executive Coach after being made redundant by RTE.
OMG 
Write me the script for the pilot episode of “Coach Life”, a hilarious new Irish sitcom featuring the main character of Darren Frehill, an endearingly error prone Irish radio sports presenter who accepts a redundancy package from his employer RTE, the Irish national broadcaster. Darren then decides to become a life coach and gets up to all manner of endearing, bumbling gaffes as he seeks to establish his new practice with his early clients. Among his clients are Kate O’Connell, a pharmacist and former politician, Davy Glennon, a former hurling player for Galway who has a now under control gambling problem, and former Syrian dictator Bashar Al-Assad.
Title: Coach Life
Pilot Episode: “Finding Your Calling (Or At Least Not Losing It)”
FADE IN:
INT. RTE RADIO STUDIO - DAY
(The red “ON AIR” light flickers as DARREN FREHILL, mid-40s, friendly but permanently flustered, sits at the mic. His producer, KEVIN, gives him the “wrap it up” gesture from the control room.)
DARREN:
“…And that’s all we have time for on Morning Sport. Remember, it’s not about winning or losing, it’s about—er—er—well, it’s definitely not about getting sacked live on air. I’ll, uh, see ye soon! Maybe. Hopefully. Bye now!”
(Darren fumbles to turn off the mic, knocking over his coffee in the process. KEVIN shakes his head in the booth.)
CUT TO:
INT. DARREN’S KITCHEN – NIGHT
(Darren sits at the table, staring at a redundancy package document. His wife, MAIREAD, a sharp-witted, no-nonsense woman, pours tea.)
MAIREAD:
“So what now, Darren? You gonna finally write that book about all the great Irish sports moments you were there for but misreported?”
DARREN:
“No, love. I’ve been thinking… I need to help people. Inspire them! I’m going to become…a life coach.”
(Pause. Mairead blinks at him.)
MAIREAD:
“You, Darren Frehill? The man who once forgot his own child’s name during a birthday speech?”
DARREN:
“That was a momentary lapse! And to be fair, she was going through a ‘Ciara but call me Kiki’ phase. Anyone would be thrown!”
CUT TO:
EXT. RENTED OFFICE SPACE – DAY
(A modest but slightly dingy office. Darren sticks a hastily printed sign on the door: “COACH LIFE: Transform Your Life with Darren Frehill!” The ‘e’ in ‘Life’ is falling off.)
DARREN (V.O.):
“A new chapter. A fresh start. A chance to truly make a difference.”
(Door swings open. KATE O’CONNELL strides in. A former politician and pharmacist, she’s confident, skeptical, and absolutely in charge.)
KATE:
“Right, Frehill. I’m your first client. Not because I believe in you, but because my sister dared me to do this and I never turn down a bet. What’s the plan?”
(Darren scrambles to open a notebook titled ‘Life Coaching Tips.’ He flips pages furiously before landing on one that simply says “Believe in yourself.” He clears his throat.)
DARREN:
“Kate, you need to… believe in yourself!”
KATE:
“Jesus, Darren, I was a TD! I survived political life in Ireland. It’s not self-belief I need help with, it’s not wanting to throttle people daily.”
DARREN:
“Ah. Rage management. That’s chapter three in… er, in the course I’m definitely qualified to teach.”
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE – LATER
(DAVY GLENNON, ex-Galway hurler, enters. He’s affable, well-meaning, but dubious about being here.)
DAVY:
“Alright, Darren. Didn’t expect to see you again outside of a sideline blunder.”
DARREN:
“New career, Davy! I’m here to help you reach your full potential!”
DAVY:
“Darren, I’ve won All-Irelands. My potential’s grand, thanks. I just need a bit of structure.”
DARREN:
“Structure, right. Ah… how about we build a life routine? A daily schedule. First things first, what time do you usually wake up?”
DAVY:
“Whenever my kids start jumping on me.”
DARREN:
“Perfect. That’s a natural alarm clock!”
DAVY:
“And they usually start by hitting me with a hurley.”
(Beat.)
DARREN:
“Less ideal.”
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE – LATER
(DARREN reads an appointment entry on his phone and frowns.)
DARREN:
“Huh. Next client… Bashar Al-Assad? Must be a typo. Maybe a lad from Ballyhaunis named Bash. I’ll sort it.”
(The door swings open. In walks a familiar figure in a suit, flanked by a confused delivery man holding an extra-large latte.)
DARREN:
“Oh… Jaysus.”
ASSAD:
“Mr. Frehill. I am here to… how do you say… rebrand?”
(Beat. Darren’s eyes dart between Assad and the latte delivery guy, as if hoping this is some elaborate prank.)
DARREN:
“Ah… Right. Well. Let’s start with… have you ever considered moving to a quiet village? Maybe running a B&B?”
CUT TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
TEXT ON SCREEN:
Coach Life – Transforming lives. Or at least mildly adjusting them.
FADE TO BLACK.
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You should make this
Terrific premise but would make a like for like character replacement - Roy Curtis in for Bashar Al-Assad.
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What do you think Bashar Al-Assad’s 12 pubs of Christmas would be?
I wonder could either slow down or speed up the Friends theme music enough
Both are always stuck in second gear.
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Darren congratulating Sarah Healy on her 1,500 metres gold medal this morning. Embarrassing stuff, it was 3,000.
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If I didnt know better, I’d swear you boys do be making half this up.
He said Jade O’ Dowda was a brother of Callum O’ Dowda’s then. Even when he’s right, he’s wrong.
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At least hit hit the post with it.
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