Right i have little or no time for the game but as it is going to be almost impossible to ignore it for the next month, I need to find out a couple of things to help me understand the game better.
First up, how many points do you get for kicking the ball over the sideline ?
yeah i would say its less than a dive over the area behind the goalposts but more than the kick in front of the goalposts that you get after you have dived over the area behind the goalposts.
âA kick into the stand is worth two on the pitch.â
Or something like that anyway. It might actually be about a bird now that I think about it though.
This can now become âthe anti-rugby world cupâ thread.
I canât wait to be told in my local that I canât watch the Celtic game on the telly because England are playing Samoa or someone. Complete and utter disgrace.
Anyone else think a sport where when a team gets a penalty 5 metres out they generally decide to kick the ball into the stand, before getting one of their players to retrieve the ball and throw it up in the air in the direction of another guy, whoâs being lifted up into the air by his underpants by two other guys, to catch, and when he grabs the ball and lands, a series of other players all run in and crouch together in a strange manner before trying to push another set of lads pack behind a line, is possibly the greatest load of scheidt in the world?
Anyone else think a sport where when a team gets a penalty 5 metres out they generally decide to kick the ball into the stand, before getting one of their players to retrieve the ball and throw it up in the air in the direction of another guy, whoâs being lifted up into the air by his underpants by two other guys, to catch, and when he grabs the ball and lands, a series of other players all run in and crouch together in a strange manner before trying to push another set of lads pack behind a line, is possibly the greatest load of scheidt in the world?
No? Okay then.
Anyone else think scrummaging is a bit fooking weird?
Picture the early days of rugby.
Young William Webb-Ellis (playing at number 10) fires a double skip pass (beyond the two centres) to the full back arriving at speed into the line. However, the move is scuppered when the full back drops the ball and knocks it forward before diving on it and is then swallowed up by a mass of bodies.
A posh young opposition player approaches William and loudly protests that the full backâs lack of skill and failure to cleanly grab and hold onto the ball should result in a turnover of possession to his own team.
Webb-Ellis takes a breath and then, after a brief pause, shouts, âAlright chaps, eight from each side over here.â
The eight fattest fooks on both sides waddle over and then William goes, âThree chubbiest link arms now. Two tallest also link arms and stick your heads between the assholes of the front chubby three. Likewise the stockiest chap should stick his head between the asses of the tall two. If thereâs two wirey guys left over then they should hold onto the edge of the other six. Now the eight on either side must crouch down and then shove into each other, though I hope the smell for those close to assholes isnât frightfully bad. One other smaller chap from the opponent team please retrieve the ball after the knock on and we shall resume play throwing the ball into this âscrumâ of gents. Are we all clear?â
Youâd have to question why one of the other young lads didnât pipe up and simply say, âCan one of us not just restart play with the ball in our hands?â
Anyone else think a sport where when a team gets a penalty 5 metres out they generally decide to kick the ball into the stand, before getting one of their players to retrieve the ball and throw it up in the air in the direction of another guy, whoâs being lifted up into the air by his underpants by two other guys, to catch, and when he grabs the ball and lands, a series of other players all run in and crouch together in a strange manner before trying to push another set of lads pack behind a line, is possibly the greatest load of scheidt in the world?
Was intending on taking a dignified silence over this thread.
However, the above sounds remarkably similar to sniffy talk of âtwenty two men chasing a piece of leather around a fieldâ.
All sport is ridiculous outside the context of the rules. (Admittedly though, the first time a scrum was suggested must have been a tricky moment.)
This thread raises a different issue of interest to me which is the question of why rugby is so widely disliked. Is it the actual sport or the people who tend to be interested in it and the associations they bring with them?
I wasnât brought up in a house where Gaelic football or hurling were ever watched. All my da liked was rugby and motor sports and the father generally sets the trend for the sporting interest in the gaff. However, I never disliked GAA. I just wasnât interested in it.
Having said that, I knew fellas, and not just kids but adults too, who were very dismissive of âbog ballâ etc. I always just put this down to blatant snobbery. They were soccer people too though, not just rugby people. Yet soccer doesnât seem to suffer from the same resentful dislike that rugby does. Maybe soccerâs just too pervasive what with EPL and World Cups etc.
Anyway, discuss. Iâm off to Bordeaux to see if Drico and the goys can bring Bill back to Oirland.