Friends and That

1

A new study has shown that all we need is 10 friends to see us through life’s rocky road.

You will note that “we” get a mention as friend type No. 10.

THE OLD FRIEND

Sometimes from school, sometimes the “friend from home” (if home is outside Dublin). They know who we really are and remind us of our roots. Alas, they also know where the bodies are buried.

THE HIGH-POWERED FRIEND

He is always on the move, dashing back from somewhere exotic and on the way to somewhere you haven’t been invited. Upside: you feel connected to a different world. Downside: as soon as he’s gone you feel like howling, “Where did i go wrong?”

THE SCHOOLGATE FRIEND

You met when their Nancy and your Fred started nursery, so it’s a relationship based on stories of calpol nights, school applications and jokes about jammy fingerprints on the walls. Don’t try to mix the schoolgate friend with others: parenting is a separate realm, of no interest at all to those without children the same age.

THE OLDER FRIEND

Important as you swing your way through the jungle hitting the tree stumps once in a while. Older friend reminds you how little it matters in the long run and restores a sense of ease to the battered soul. They generally cook well, having more time, and keep proper wine or cakes in the house, so cosseting is included.

THE NAUGHTIER-THAN-THOU FRIEND

Whether you’re male or female, you need a friend whose life is more rackety than your own. They might drink more, have affairs or stay out later. Whatever the vice, it’s a pleasant reminder of your less well-behaved days, while imparting a modest sense that you really are quite responsible now.

THE FRIDAY NIGHT FRIEND

My personal favourite. Sex and the city without the sex. Mates you really want to see when your other half is out. Unsuited to mixed-sex discussion. All group members must be aware of the farcical elements of the other’s lives. “you didn’t really get Botox injected in your nose, did you?”

FEMALE EQUIVALENT

They dash to the pub or restaurant as soon as Friday-night males start talking soccer at each other.

THE SPORTS FRIEND

Friend you rarely see when not playing tennis/going swimming/jogging. The main criteria is that they are not so much better at it than you as to be depressing, though a competitive edge is fine. Conversation: the state of respective cruciate ligaments and where to buy the best kit. Talk about anything else just ruins it.

THE FRIEND PERDU

Nothing is odder than bumping into the friend you used to be close to.

THE VIRTUAL FRIEND

In the real world, friends may move to Alaska or not return your calls. Now, though, the net lets us contact them when we feel like it and ignore them when we don’t. Just don’t ruin a beautiful friendship and meet them.

What we have here is a virtual community - building long lasting relationships is key for me.

2

I worry for your sanity TT*

3

Is there anyone you have your eye on to be your virtual friend TT? The article above seems to suggest that just one virtual friend is enough. My door is still open - I’d have chosen Bandage but he chose Clarkeycat already and that broke my heart.

4

Was actually discussing this shit with one of the lads the other day. I have the usual collection of friends - from my street growing up, from school, a few from college and then friends from my first job, which was as a trainee accountant and it was like an extension of college with a group all around the same age going through the exams etc. The point was that I haven’t had any urge to make friends or socialise with anyone from work in my next two jobs since then. I probably appear disinterested and don’t really make an effort to converse with them a lot of the time. The poor bastards don’t realise what a legend (copyright Flano) I am. I’m giving off a ‘Fook it, I’ve enough friends as it is - I can’t be arsed talking to you’ vibe most of the time.

5

“Too bad McCain, I could have liked you.”
“I got enough friends”

6

Sorry Rocko…Admins and Contributors just don’t work…look at how badly artfoley and cahill got on.

7

Let it go tipptops*.

8

THE NAUGHTIER-THAN-THOU FRIEND

This used to be Flano, but I drank a hell of a lot more than him over the past few weekends and generally caused much more monkey mischief than him. Methinks he might be spending a bit too much time with his virtual friend Ball-ox, either that or there’s a new season of a science fiction show on the box.

9

Did you two have a falling out Ben? I heard Flano was asked by his very special friend to choose between you and him.

10

THE OLD FRIEND

Sometimes from school, sometimes the “friend from home” (if home is outside Dublin). They know who we really are and remind us of our roots. Alas, they also know where the bodies are buried.
Have only about two of them left.

THE HIGH-POWERED FRIEND

He is always on the move, dashing back from somewhere exotic and on the way to somewhere you haven’t been invited. Upside: you feel connected to a different world. Downside: as soon as he’s gone you feel like howling, “Where did i go wrong?”

One of these springs to mind. I don’t wonder where I went wrong though as I know that much of his exploits are funded by his parents.

THE SCHOOLGATE FRIEND

You met when their Nancy and your Fred started nursery, so it’s a relationship based on stories of calpol nights, school applications and jokes about jammy fingerprints on the walls. Don’t try to mix the schoolgate friend with others: parenting is a separate realm, of no interest at all to those without children the same age

No - none of them

THE OLDER FRIEND

Important as you swing your way through the jungle hitting the tree stumps once in a while. Older friend reminds you how little it matters in the long run and restores a sense of ease to the battered soul. They generally cook well, having more time, and keep proper wine or cakes in the house, so cosseting is included.

therock67

THE NAUGHTIER-THAN-THOU FRIEND

Whether you’re male or female, you need a friend whose life is more rackety than your own. They might drink more, have affairs or stay out later. Whatever the vice, it’s a pleasant reminder of your less well-behaved days, while imparting a modest sense that you really are quite responsible now.

Ball Ox definitely - in fact most of my mates

THE FRIDAY NIGHT FRIEND

My personal favourite. Sex and the city without the sex. Mates you really want to see when your other half is out. Unsuited to mixed-sex discussion. All group members must be aware of the farcical elements of the other’s lives. “you didn’t really get Botox injected in your nose, did you?”

All of my mates fall under this category

FEMALE EQUIVALENT

They dash to the pub or restaurant as soon as Friday-night males start talking soccer at each other.

Have some of these as well

THE SPORTS FRIEND

Friend you rarely see when not playing tennis/going swimming/jogging. The main criteria is that they are not so much better at it than you as to be depressing, though a competitive edge is fine. Conversation: the state of respective cruciate ligaments and where to buy the best kit. Talk about anything else just ruins it.

I never compare injuries with other blokes. I am beginning to question the authority of someone who would suggest such that anyone would do that. Is he living in the real world?

THE FRIEND PERDU

Nothing is odder than bumping into the friend you used to be close to.

One of those sent me a Bebo message a while back. Thick as thieves we were.

THE VIRTUAL FRIEND

In the real world, friends may move to Alaska or not return your calls. Now, though, the net lets us contact them when we feel like it and ignore them when we don’t. Just don’t ruin a beautiful friendship and meet them.

Like the sports one you have to question the sanity of someone who would call an internet forum member ‘a friend’.

11

[quote=“farmerinthecity”]THE OLDER FRIEND

Important as you swing your way through the jungle hitting the tree stumps once in a while. Older friend reminds you how little it matters in the long run and restores a sense of ease to the battered soul. They generally cook well, having more time, and keep proper wine or cakes in the house, so cosseting is included.

therock67

THE VIRTUAL FRIEND

In the real world, friends may move to Alaska or not return your calls. Now, though, the net lets us contact them when we feel like it and ignore them when we don’t. Just don’t ruin a beautiful friendship and meet them.

Like the sports one you have to question the sanity of someone who would call an internet forum member ‘a friend’.[/quote]

No contradiction there eh?

12

How silly of me!

I have never met you in person of course Grandpa.

13

I would have thought that ye would have crossed paths many a time at the numerous jamborees and xmas parties…or even at your 6 a side games;)…

14

Anyone have a friend who seems to be working through a ‘Things I Must Do Before I’m 30’ list? They’re not much laugh anymore because they’re training for a marathon or treking through the Andes or something.

15

Are you thinking of thebhoy?

16

you mean before your 40?

17

Nope, not the bhoy even though he did the London marathon a while back and is a boring cunt.