It keeps rejecting the two litres of milk and empty fag boxes I bring over
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Iām burning mine
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Donāt need them
Yes but if they didnāt he may not have been charged the deposit.
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Iāve had a bad enough week, and a good enough week. We buried a fior Gael, but had a lovely day still.
Anyhow, this evening I was driving herself out and her friends to a restaurant on the A34 when I got a call from a neighbor saying that someone had just robbed one of my bikes. I thought it must be the BMW which is an old hack, and wasnāt too bothered, but she said theyd dropped it and had then pushed it down the road. I couldnāt turn round anyhow, so I dropped them off and made my way home to find out to my horror that it was my super blackbird which is my pristine summer bike. She was still there and didnāt know what had happened to them but said which way theyād pushed the bike. Thereās some flats down the end with a big car park. The guards arrived, and were sound.
I had a hurl out and said I was going to check the carpark of the flats, and I went round the back and saw two lads hiding with the bike. I ran for them and they scarpered. I chased them.out onto the road and about a quarter mile down the road and was just about to pack in when one of them got tired and I caught him. I pushed him into a hedge and was holding him by the scruff of the neck. A lad came over and said I couldnāt be hitting a lad with a bat no matter what and I was damaging the hedge. I told him to ring the gards because I still had your man by the neck and was going to keep him til they arrived.
He started to ask me to let him go. He said he was nice and he just needed some money. He said his mother wasnāt well, and he didnāt have anything. I believed him. He was only about 15 or 16.
I said Iād worked hard for the bike a d nobody gave me anything. Even I knew this was bollox as I said it. I just began to feel like a horrible person. He said that I had loads of money, I lived in a big house, and I could just buy another bike, and he had nothing.
And it was true, every word.
I said to him if I let him go would he promise not to come back. He promised he wouldnāt. I let him up and told him to get out here.
It was an unnatural and stressful situation, but I just terrorised a poor young lad over nothing.
I wish Iād given him some money.
It was a fcuking hateful thing all round.
He was right. Every word. Poor little fucker. Iāll not sleep tonight.
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Youāre an odd fish at the best of times but youāve a heart of gold. Never change
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Heāll be back next week for the Beamer.
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Think it was a combination of having a bike robbed before which I got back, but cost me a grand, and not feeling right through stress.
It was horrid all round.
and if youāre week couldnāt get worse, your best mate John Bishop is on with Tommy Tiernan.
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You fell for the same yarn heās spun a couple of times, or maybe it was the first time he spun it, but itās what heās been taught and it worked. Ok, he probably is right, youāve a big house and heās in a council estate etc yadda yadda. But the house is yours, the bike is yours, they broke and entered and stole, broke the law. He may not come back but heāll do it again and again, cos he sold you a story and you bought it.
You should have kicked the shit out of him while you had the chance, but you wouldnāt cos your decent. Sleep easy and go for a spin on the bike tomorrow.
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And bring his big brother with the machete
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You say guards. But Iād this story Manchester based?
Theyāll ate him without salt in Connemara. Heād be as well to hire yer man Saldaf from Pakistan to shadow him for a year or two
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Thereās no A34 in Galway
And thereās no guards in the UK.
Flatty spakes fluent hiberno-english
Heāll be home presently.
One good dig wouldnāt have done the lad any harm.
Weāll have you ready to timber Salthill cunts in the battle for Tonabrocky when youāre abhaile for good. Keep the head held high Flatty.
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Thereās no caaaaaaaaawwwwwwps in Ireland but that doesnāt stop lads
āI will never forget coming home to my parents and watching my dad cry,ā says victim of āpredatoryā rape
How on earth is this worth only 9** years in jail
**5
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