General Ulster news thread

#1

According to my Belfast source, the “You are now entering Loyalist Sandy Row” mural has been painted over. :o

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#2

Jesus, this is going to be a busy thread. :rolleyes:

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#3

Not familiar with General Ulster. For whom does he serve?

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#4

I’ve got an ulster in my stomach

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#5

Great to see Tommy Bowe back for the Ulster franchise.

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#6

Great to see on BBC Alshter Newsline that that traditional staple of six county television, the Balmoral Show, is still going strong. No less a man than HRH Prince Edward making a visit this year.

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#7

You sound more like Manuel with each passing day Sid…

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#8

[B]1690 new jobs for Limavady as DUP’S Gregory Campbell opens curry yogurt factory[/B]

[I]Sammy Mahood, Ballymoney Sunday Bugle (published on Mondays), November 24th, 2014[/I]

What started out as a joke has turned into a massive jobs boost for a County Londondree town. Northern Ireland Minister for Culture, Arts and Leisure, the DUP’s Gregory Campbell, has announced the creation of 1,690 new jobs at a new yogurt factory. Campbell’s Foods is to introduce a new range of yogurts by popular demand after a huge reaction to the Minister’s “curry my yogurt” comment in the Northern Ireland Assembly.

“It started out as a joke, I admit”, said Campbell. “But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. People love curry, and they love yogurt. But up to now, they’ve always been separate. So I thought to myself, why not bring them together in a tasty union?”

“If there’ s one thing I’m all about, it’s culture”, continued Campbell. " And if there’s one thing that has culture in it, it’s yogurt. I mean Ambrosia already make rice pudding so I can’t see why curry yogurt won’t work. "

Campbell is optimistic that his new product has a very bright future. “In time I think it may come to be recognised as an Ulster delicacy, and perhaps become a symbol of Northern Irish cuisine in the same way the Ulster Fry has, although hopefully it’ll be much less likely to give you a heart attack.”

“But we won’t restrict ourselves to curry yogurt of course. We’ll also be introducing a Red, White and Blueberry (strawberry, vanilla and blueberry) flavour, Orange, obviously (laughs) and Lemon Sorbet - twice as bitter and extra thick - I’ve already wound up Jim Allister about him being the inspiration for that one!”

Sinn Fein objected to Campbell’s remark as “disrespectful to the Irish language”. But Campbell was defiant. “They’re only a shower of Yops. But we don’t want them to feel left out. We want to offer something for everybody. That’s why we’ll also be launching flavours for Republicans, such as “Tiocfaidh Ar Lime”, “Up the RAspberry” and “Cherry Adams”. And for all those who love their stout, there will be a McGuinness flavour.”

“I’ll be bringing in a free box of yogurts into the Assembly tomorrow for everybody in Sinn Fein. I just hope they’ll be able to respect [I]my[/I] culture.”

But controversy has abounded after a planned “Fudge Sundae” flavour was vetoed by Campbell on the basis that “it would promote homosexual behaviour on the Lord’s day”. Gay rights campaigners have launched a lawsuit claiming Campbell’s decision breaches new equality legislation.

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#9

Justin McNulty running for the stoops in the next election.

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#10

[QUOTE=“Il Bomber Destro, post: 1087117, member: 2533”]Justin McNulty running for the stoops in the next election.[/QUOTE]
Stoops?

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#11

[QUOTE=“Elvis Brandenberg Kremmen, post: 1087120, member: 1624”]Stoops?[/QUOTE]

Stoop
Down
Low
Party

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#12

What the fuck?

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#13

Three dead after this, two boys aged 16 & 17 and a 17 year old girl.

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#14

That’s absolutely horrendous news.

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#15

A stampede to get in? Horrible, horrible news

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#16

RIP

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#17

Same nearly happened in coppers a few years back

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#18

Thankfully you survived it mate.

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#19

Some clusterfuck of a PSNI investigation so far.

Arrested the owner chap and then charged him with possessing drugs with intent to supply and issued a statement on it yesterday. A few hours later they had to de-arrest him and issue another statement saying that he didn’t have drugs at all.

Seemed very quick to be arresting the two guys in the first place (owner and head bouncer is it?) Not saying they aren’t at fault but it all seemed a bit rushed especially when they followed up with a fairly big error on the drugs stuff.

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#20

An astonishing fuck up which could compromise the case against the man which actually matters - the lack of crowd control which almost certainly caused the deaths.

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