Health & Safety

In my place of work the new HR head is beginning to implement new stringent Health & Safety procedures. They are complete over kill, I wont be allowed to scratch my hole without having someone to watch over me in case I scrape myself with a fingernail.

I’m surprised we’re allowed to even use the stairs for fear of someone falling over.

Has anyone encountered ridiculous H&S measures in their workplace?

On my first day in a job about 5 years ago we were in a training room for the induction week. The first morning we were told we were getting a presentation from the Health and Safety / Security/ Sit On His Ass Down In The Basement Reading Tabloids guy. Anyway he came in and really seriously started going on about never leaving files in the aisle in case anyone tripped etc. Then he started going on about fires and how important it was to have the fire exits kept clear in case of emergency. Then he goes, ‘for example you’ll see the way I have arranged the exit in the training room here’ and he points over to the door in the corner. We all look over and there’s a table blocking the exit with 3 separate lines of chairs stacked up to near the ceiling on top of it. The look on the clown’s face was priceless though.

I can’t believe Bandage has resorted to getting Flano to pose a question about health and safety in the workplace so that Bandage can respond with a funny tale on the subject. If you want to tell your funny story Bandage just come out and say it. Relying on Flano to tee you up is just sad.

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You thought my story was funny? I feel all fuzzy inside.

I worked for the Bank Of Ireland a few years ago. During our training week amongst other pointless exercises we got lessons on how to lift the lightest things from the floor. As far as I can remember not only did we not only have to watch somebody demonstrating the appropriate technique but we also had to show that we could pick these objects up. It was the easiest week of work ever.

That last post has reminded me of this “bend your knees”

See this is what flano was setting us up for.

Good stuff though.

The Office starting to show its age as its impossible now to rest cups of coffee on computer screen due to the flatness of them. Im glad Flano is using the link I sent him in an email earlier for good use. You should post the fire drill one I sent you too. :smoke:

This thread has veered towards The Office so how about this:

People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: ‘You’re not fooling anyone’. They know I’m rock and roll through and through. But you know that old thing, “Live fast, die young?” Not my way. Live fast, sure, live too bloody fast sometimes, but die young? Die old. That’s the way - not orthodox. I don’t live by “the rules” you know. And if there’s one other person who’s influenced me in that way I think, someone who is a maverick, someone who does that…to the system, then it’s Ian Botham. Because Beefy will happily say ‘That’s what I think of your selection policy, yes I’ve hit the odd copper, yes I’ve enjoyed the old doobie, but will you piss off and leave me alone, I’m walking to John O’ Groats for some spastics.’

Excellence sent me the youtube link after our discussion about the riciculous H&S regulations being introduced(and after I had posted this thread). It wasnt geared towards the office at all

Well seeing as our fire drill is next Friday I felt that the office one should be posted along with the hilarious Fawlty Towers one. I want our one to be as fun. Burglars about Fawlty. :slight_smile:

We’re fooked in work if theres a fire. We have rejects from the muppet show leading us

I too worked for the bank a couple of years ago and went on the same week training as thepied. However the week before the training i nearly lost a finger in one my drunken escapades and as a result was wearing a sling. When it got to the part where you had to demonstrate the appropriate technique of lifting a bag of coin, i couldnt do it because of my hand. They actually made me sign a waiver saying that i could not complete some parts of the course!!!

Thats hilarious. You should sue them now for bad back trouble.

A thoroughly enjoyable thread

Funny stories, brilliant comedy clips etc

Well done hi5

I had to ressurect this thread. Currently there is a large group of people doing a helath and safety course in my place of work. The group has just come around to look around and identify risks. The one that got me was when someone was talking about the fire doors and are they closed at all times. No they aren’t. Simple reason for that is a lot of people I work with seem incapable of opening them when they are closed. If I was any of them I’d be a bit worried if a fire started and I was locked behind a door I couldn’t open. There seems to be no logic behind what they are doing.

I didn’t know there was an Indian food stall in Semple Stadium

The rat emanated from the drain when the tap at the kitchen sink was switched on,” it continued.

Sounds like a garda giving evidence there.

I used to like Okra Green in Howth