Cark?
Wonderful morning in Ireland’s premier food market. Picked up a sour dough baguette, a selection of soft cheeses, a spicy chorizo, a couple of different types of hummus, a large ring of lisduff black pudding, a bottle of the hottest hot sauce produced in ireland and a couple of crepes (they are like a really thin pancake). Then I headed up town to pick up my last few gifts and was gone by lunchtime. A very productive trip.
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Yes, of course
Where did you park? Was Tom playing accordion? Any local celeb spotting?
A little more colour, akin to the recent recounting from @Bandage of his foray into town, would be lovely.
I couldn’t really be arsed adding to it.
Tom was playing and I stopped for a chat. There was an eclectic mix of buskers dotted around the place, including one seemingly mentally unstable lady singing opera.
I omitted my purchase of star anise and cinnamon bark from the Indian gentleman out of the street. I also had a surprisingly good coffee in the cafe on the upper floor of Arthur’s Quay.
I’m in town now, but I must pause to recount an embarrassing incident in the Vodafone Shop on Henry Street just now. My life partner, family and solicitor have consistently been saying my phone must be damaged as they can never get through to me.
I’m in town nice and early and noted an empty Vodafone store so took the plunge and strode in. I told the shop assistant all my inbound calls are either ringing out or going straight through to voicemail and perhaps there’s an issue with the phone or SIM card.
He took possession of the unlocked phone, pressed the “moon” button off and handed it back to me. It appears I’ve had “do not disturb” turned on since getting the phone in October.
I’m across the road in Arnott’s now.
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Oh Bandage you goose
Tom was dressed for the season with a santa hat and a mid-length santa coat hanging loosely from his shoulders
You were better off pal.
I wonder did the shop assistant mutter under his breath that you’re a right auld fanny?
Does he have a license to busk. is he declaring any of the monies.?
It’s the way you tell em mate
He is not making any money. He is an altruistic sort, in it for the love of music
Back in the door, fed and watered from a trip to town earlier. I think I am finally set for the Christmas lads. I was in bad shape up until now, but I’ve saved it at the eleventh hour with “the last few bits”. I’ll give myself a 7/10 overall this year, with the intention to do my Christmas 2019 shopping in September. I may even set a reminder in my calendar.
I got into town early, and found town at that hour to be “brisk” but not “bristling”, though it was filling out nicely by the time I left. Sunday the 23rd is an unusual kind of day when the shops don’t know if they should open early, open at lunch, open after lunch, or open at all.
Some highlights:
An extremely rotund lady viciously berating the driver of a black saloon at the zebra-crossing at the junction of Catherine Street & Roches Street. The lady, who I imagine would struggle to even fit any of her tits or chins behind a steering wheel never mind operate one, had stepped straight onto the tarmac without so much as a glance up the street and was loudly and finger-pointedly letting everyone know that “dis is a fuckeeen pedestrian croseeen you fuckeen prick.” The driver was most likely relieved that he hadn’t written off the front end of his car.
I passed part-time full-back and full-time Tipperary legend Pádraic Maher on the beat on Glentworth Street. I could discern from Pádraic’s expression that patroling thronged streets of Treaty folk purchasing various items of Declan Hannon-clad stocking-fillers was, amid other things, something he could do without on this particular Sunday. However, a steely glint in his eyes suggested to me that Tipp have put the celebrations to bed after their recent Co-Op Superstores Munster Senior Hurling League victory over the World Champions of Hurling, and will be a force to be reckoned with in 2019.
I loaded up on a wide variety of highly sessionable craft ales at the small but well-stocked Number 21 off-licence near Punches Cross. As I was exiting onto Childers Road, an attractive lady in a 06 Focus enthusiastically waved me out, and I gratefully flashed her (my hazards, gentleman, my hazards). This little automotive exchange put me in a very festive spirit, and I charitably flashed a number of motorists stranded in no-man’s land on my journey home, wearing a happy little smile on my face throughout.
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MY TRIP TO THE NORTHSIDE
A few months ago I decided to try and start an online business that will involve a lot of typing. During the week I realized that it would be useful to own a laptop. Currently if I want to type anything I do it at my desk in work but with a laptop I could potentially get a lot of typing done at home in the evenings.
I spent a few hours browsing for laptops online and researching the latest Intel processors. It seemed huge progress in speed has been made in the past few years, The best fit for my budget and needs was a HP Pavilion laptop with an 8th generation Intel I58500U professor and 8gb of RAM. It was for sale in the Curry’s PC World January sales, for the price of €499. This necessitated a trip to Curry’s PC World in the Jervis Centre, north of the Liffey, so today I set off on foot to the Northside. It was my intention to buy a new laptop, a pair of shorts, a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a plain white t-shirt.
The Jervis Centre was very busy. Before going to Curry’s I decided to browse some of the other shops in the centre. First I went into the Glasgow Celtic shop to look for some shorts. I have a pair of Celtic shorts already and I wear them more often than not when I’m out running or playing sports. Unfortunately on this occasion they were all sold out of medium sized shorts so I thought I’d try my luck in another shop.
I wandered into JD Sports, which was a dark place with a bare, industrial decor. It played loud pop music on the speakers. Most of its ware wasn’t really “sports wear” at all as I would understand it but rather what Alan Partridge would call “sports casual”. I had great difficulty even finding a pair of shorts in the place but eventually I tracked down a black stretchy pair of Nike shorts for €40 and a pair of Puma track bottoms for €30. I couldn’t justify spending this amount of money on items that I would look sweaty and awful in anyway so I left to go to Curry’s PC World.
Curry’s was having a huge sale, their biggest ever the posters said, and it was packed out. I browsed all the laptops but the one that seemed the best fit for me was the same one I had seen online. The price was still €499, reduced from about €750. When I called over an assistant to buy it however I got a nasty shock - it didn’t come with Microsoft Office. To use Microsoft a office on it I would need to buy a special package they offered, whereby I would get Microsoft Office for a year, together with anti virus software and 2 terabytes of cloud space both for a year also. This package cost about €700 - almost as much as the laptop before the sale began. I was shocked to hear that I can’t just buy Microsoft Word and run it forever for free. An indefinite license for Word cost €250! I sulked over this for a while before eventually agreeing to buy the package. I was happy to have made the day’s key purchase.
I still had to get my shorts, tracksuit bottoms and white t-shirt so I thought I would go to Penny’s. What a great decision that was! I wandered in the Abbey Street entrance and made my way upstairs. I was again struck by the volume of people. They seemed to come from every corner of the globe. I found a rack of tracksuit bottoms and bought a grey pair, which was the only color with any medium size left. I was shocked to see that the price tag said €10!
Then I made my way to the shorts rack. Pennys has more shorts than JD Sports, despite not even advertising itself as a sports shop. The shorts were made of soft cotton, that will undoubtedly get very sweaty when I exercise. This downside was mitigated however by a useful zip-pocket that I can keep my keys in when I go out running. Again, the shorts only cost €12!
By now I was thoroughly enjoying my time in Penny’s and felt a real connection with my fellow shoppers. We were united in our common- sense, frugality and lack of pretension. I immediately found plain white t-shirts, exactly like I wanted. These t-shirts cost €2.30! I bought a regular fit, medium size t-shirt and a “muscle-fit” medium size white t-shirt for €4. Perhaps this muscle-fit t-shirt will prove obscene or embarrassing but at only €4 I don’t feel like I’m taking much of a gamble.
Walking towards the exit, now feeling quite jolly, my eye was caught by a nice grey check shirt. It would go well with my new white t-shirts. On the hanger it was matched with a burgundy t-shirt but that would be an extravagance too far. The price was only €15. I tried to take it off the rack, only to find it was attached to the burgundy t-shirt! They came together for only €15!
In total I spent just over €40 in Penny’s, the same price as a single pair of shorts in JD Sports. I could definitely wear my grey check shirt / burgundy t-shirt to a gig. My cashier was called Billie and she seemed a down to earth girl. As I made my way back across the Liffey I remarked on the happy, industrious and earthy people I met on the Northside. I will definitely go to the Northside again.
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Excellent storytelling
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Ah jaysus. You got mugged off there.
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Please tell me you wrote all that on your new computer
Tell me you did not spend €250 on getting office mate?
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