Late Late Show - The Misery Porn channel

Cool Britannia ended up bombing Iraq

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But please don’t put your life in the hands
Of a rock and roll band
Who’ll throw it all away

She’s got a sister
And God only knows how I’ve missed her
And on the palm of her hand is a blister

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A small price to pay for ridding the UK of Major’s sleazy government.

David Mellor banging Antonia De Sancha in his Chelsea jersey FFS

It’s easy knowing the lads that were still walking around with their Nirvana and Pearl Jam t-shirts when oasis landed in 94.

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Jim Kerr’s leftovers

Only a Simple Mind would say that

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I wonder if Patsy Kensit ever snorted cocaine?

How has Noel not won the Nobel prize for Literature yet? I just don’t understand it

She’s got a brother
We don’t get on with one another
But I quite fancy her mother
And I think that she likes me

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One day you’ll realise.

You don’t read music.

You feel it.

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One Saturday night years ago, there was a film with Liz Hurley in it which came on after Match Of The Day. Early in the film Hurley’s character, who was a posh English socialite, retreats to a toilet cubicle and aggressively snorts a rather liberal amount of cocaine. I found the scene quite arousing.

She was the squeeze of geezer actor Jamie foreman for a while, son of London gangster Freddie foreman. She was prob shifting boxes of it.

The Cranberries were much bigger… The Cranberries did what Oasis couldn’t, broke America.

And it killed them.

Oasis? I think the two brothers not getting along killed them rather than failing to break America… But you could be right.

You’re cute

Sharon Stone, Rachael Blackmore, Jimmy McGuinness and load of fellas I’ve never heard of talking about mental health.

Tubs must be due for his well deserved summer break soon.

Any month now.