[QUOTE=“ChocolateMice, post: 1134300, member: 168”]Huzzah!
Up your bollox @Fran .[/QUOTE]
What’s the official protocol on exiting a lift (on ground floor), particularly when the occupants are all male?
Let’s assume there is a completely random number of say, 2 males in the lift, is it simply a case of last in, first out? Or with smaller numbers, is it first in, first out? Or is it based on race?
Also, I really hate do-gooder cunts who give an exaggerated “Oh, after you”, stepping aside, with their hand out shepherding me to the lift door, as if it was Clones on Ulster final day. I guess my question is, is it ok to spit on people who do this?
It is entirely ok to knock the fucking head off men who do this to other men. Look, weakness in the left exiting sphere is not favourably looked upon in the corporate world. Go getters like us who drive the economy make it pretty fucking obvious through our body language and steely stares that we don’t have time for pleasantries and will be exiting the lift first, the rest of you bean counters can form an orderly queue, as we have work to do, deals to finalise, money to make so your slightly above average salaries can be paid.
On the other hand, if a decent looking female colleague is in the lift, a gentleman always makes room for her to exit first. And to get a decent look at her arse on the way out.
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Do ye have lifts in Australia?
Jesus christ (roll eyes)
says the fuckin’ Polak.
Terrific day in Sydney today Chucks, spring has finally sprung, though the smoke from the burn offs is pretty bad.
I, along with the whole board, look forward to your regular updates during the bushfire season. The typhoon season merely whet the appetite for more Fitzy’s Fucked stories. Hopefully the burn offs won’t ruin the fun for us.
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I have to say, I am seriously worried about the coming season. A few weeks ago the Blue Mountains was covered in snow, two weeks later it was covered in fire, in the middle of winter. We have a serious El Nino event about to happen and this summer will be hot, fucking hot. There’s a huge amount of fuel built up in the bush after yet another winter where it didn’t rain (I tok a walk in the bush last weekend, it’s covered in metres of dry leaves and branches). I have started preparing our property from ember attack, as there is every chance the mountain overlooking us will go up. I have my overnight pack also in the car in case I have to stay in Sydney if the M1 goes up and I am stranded here. I trust you have your emergency plan prepared Chucks, one cannot get complacent about these matters, especially in light of recent years events.
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Stay safe and look after your family, mate.
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Did you encounter any snakes or other dangerous creatures?
I didn’t Fran, most of them are only coming out of hibernation now, the next few weeks will see lots of them around the shop. Though in saying that, Fitzy jnr stepped off to the long grass on the side of the pitch on Saturday during their warm up to take a leak (which he’s been told countless times not to do) and encountered a 2 metre red belly black snake. I’ve never seen him run so fast. He thought the better of pissing in full view of the crowd and elected to go to the toilet facilities instead. That’ll learn the little fucker.
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I just got in our lift at work on the ground floor, going down to level B2, the car park. When the lift door opened for me, there was a bloke already in there, in a suit, in his 50’s. I get in and press B2, there are no other floors lit up on the panel. This is the conversation that ensued:
Gobshite “Oh, now it’s going down”
Me “It is”
Gobshite “But I wanted to go up”
Me “What floor? Did you press the button”
Gobshite “No”
Me “Well, what floor?”
Gobshite “3, but you could have told me”
Me “Told you what?”
Gobshite “That it was going down”
Me “But I didn’t know where you were going” (wonders - why the fuck am I talking to this plank and do I look like a fucking concierge?)
Lift arrives at B2. I press 3 as I exit lift.
Me “It’ll go up now”
Gobshite “Yeah, great”
Why the fuck are lifts so difficult for people? You get in and press the button of the floor you want to go to. How is that difficult?
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You come across as a cantankerous old sort there Fitzy. Was it the heat, or were toner cartridge sales through the floor today?
I was being completely polite in the face of utter stupidity and gobshitedness. A lesser man would have punched the fucker.
Because they are Australian? I’ve never encountered anyone who had difficulty using a lift.
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Awfully cuntish carryon. Who knows the sort of day that poor man was having.
So you didn’t tell the strange man that you met that you were about to go down with him?
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When you’re a fucking gombeen, lots of things are difficult. Be glad you’ll never see this useless cunt again. I encounter lazy braindead fucks multiple times each day, and for my own sanity and well-being I have to let it go…
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Christ Croppy