Think we had this thread before but it must have been on the very first temporary board because I can’t find it here.
Top 2 in my area were probably:
Johnny Beep Beep
Simple guy who has two loves: driving and cycling. He’s the type of simple fellow that you wouldn’t give a driving license too though so that limits his driving chances. Instead of owning a car, he owns a hub cap which he uses as a steering wheel and he walks around steering away. He’s not content to just do easy stuff though like driving along. He fancies himself as a bit of a parallel parker so you’ll often see him down near the ATM or off license (what passes for a village in the homeplace) reversing into parking spots on foot and steering away with his hub cap. Oh and beeping if someone gets in his way.
The cycling is more of a regular pursuit and is distinctly less legendary. Still he has a mountain bike festooned with a couple of flags and he just cycles all over the shop with large comedy earphones on. Legend.
Dominic
Sadly moved away a while back but this bloke was a belter when we were growing up. Probably in his 60s and some sort of pious, religious guy with a touch of the simpletons as well. Every single person he met was “Hellohowareya” in one word and if you were young enough and he fancied his chances, that would often be followed by “wanna wrestle?” I was always a bit reluctant to wrestle the guy to be honest but I think he fought fair and he was a small little guy so I’d say he was giving away a few inches to the teenagers he fought.
beep beep is a true legend of a man- must be really fit
we have pomp out my way - local druggy hippy type- busks outside the bank - cant play any instruments
I was in the local garda station at a time when a middle aged woman was making a complaint about his behaviour outside the bank. He was engaging in lude behaviour apparently.
[ol]Mad Mike[/ol]
Local man (40ish) who looks quite normal and is normal for 11 months of the year until the fun fair comes to town.
He goes to the fun fair everyday and spends to whole time on the dodgems (bumpers) just driving around on them. If anyone bumps into him he goes mad and starts roaring at the assailant, he hates being bumped and is just there for the ‘driving’. The more he gets hit the madder he becomes.
The typical scene is Mad Mike leaning out of his bumper roaring and shouting and waving his fist at a number of assailants who have decided to torture him for the night.
Once the ride is over he becomes normal again until the the next round.
[ol]Paddy Rod[/ol]
Local man called Paddy (about 50) who looks like Rod Stewart. So he dresses and does everything like Rod Stewart, hair clothes, jewellery etc.
Has zero luck with the ladies though unlike the real Rod.
We had in my youth a langerload of characters mostly harmless,
Cider kid
Sean- Helloooooooooo
Holy Joe
Andy Ga
Bernie" did you ever have a wankers in the bath" Murphy
Few others - all gone now like any large urban sprawl swallowed up by ‘progress’ now there’s only dangerous whures about, had to do a few messages in town Monday morning and from Roche’s stores to the corner of Merchants Quay (100 ft) came across 6 different tappers all off their faces, 2 fucking roaring at each other, Cork is gone to fuck, not a sign of a lawman anywhere
PS Johnny’beep beep hard to beat
I put money down on a house last week after they assured me that the contractor was putting in a dedicated foot/cycle path to link it to the town/train station.
