Indeed it was over at yours. Other fake lift conversations have included Take That’s reunion, Five’s reunion, Christina Aguilera’s concert etc.
I saw your ma the other day - wasn’t sure who’d be with her so I looked the other way.
My ma is beautiful. I’m surprised you could look the other way.
Oh yeah she is. Better edit that so.
‘What are you doing texting a girl? Don’t be so gay you big s*men guzzler.’
On the DART home on Friday evening there’s this old guy who I often see on the train - he’s a kind of distinguished looking man in a suit and a hat.
Anyway he got on the DART at Tara Street, sat down opposite a young lass, and said to her “Do you know what you should get your boyfriend for Christmas?”
She said “No”
He said “A black eye. Something to remember you by.” And he cracked up laughing.
Some middle aged woman got on at Connolly Station and he offered her his seat, though she was a plump but not fat 40 year old woman and he’s about 80 or so. He says to her “Sit down and take the weight off your feet, you’re heavy enough as it is.” And he was in bits laughing again and a few people around sniggered.
Hard to put those comments in their proper funny context but I’ve seen that old guy on the DART for a couple of years and he’s a real gentleman type. He had a couple of Arnott’s bags with him so I reckon he went in to do his Christmas shopping on 8th December as is probably his tradition, stopped for a couple of glasses of whiskey, as his tradition, and ended up being locked because he can’t handle drink anymore.
Brilliant stuff - particularly the one with the 40 year old woman
Reminds me of the only good character from the Fast Show - the drunk lawyer lad (wasn’t he?) played by Paul Whitehouse - ‘I’m afraid I was very, very drunk’
A mate of mine heard this ‘yer ma’ joke today around Pearse Street.
‘Yer ma sells United scarfs!!’