Room 101

You know the drill - five things in the world that you would like to erradicate or ‘send to Room 101’. Excuse for a good auld rant…

  1. Roscommon: Absolutely nothing whatsoever going for the place. Horrible people as well. All round horrible place that wouldn’t be missed.

  2. Norwegian footballers/managers: Some names - Bjornabye, Kvarme, Leonhardsen, Heggem, Riise. All shit, all played for Liverpool. Dozens more like them. Only decent one was Solskjaer and he played for United and had a face that I would have loved to beat into mush. Remember that tosspot of a manager Egil Olsen who used to wear wellingtons to matches? Destroyed Wimbledon as well.

  3. Sunday Independent: The curse of modern day Ireland.

  4. Oasis: Have contributed nowt to the music scene and we would all be better off had they never existed. Only served to influence even more shite bands.

  5. People who think they are better than others: A bit general this one but this is one thing which pissed me off utterly. My old place of work was full of it. A boss refusing to acknowledge you because he was the boss, people talking to you and then making a beeline for someone they perceive as more important. Really gets under my wick that shite…

  1. The Puke
  2. Mac
  3. The Runt
  4. Bulldoze KPMG
  5. DanCarter

[quote=“farmerinthecity”]You know the drill - five things in the world that you would like to erradicate or ‘send to Room 101’. Excuse for a good auld rant…

  1. Roscommon: Absolutely nothing whatsoever going for the place. Horrible people as well. All round horrible place that wouldn’t be missed.

  2. Norwegian footballers/managers: Some names - Bjornabye, Kvarme, Leonhardsen, Heggem, Riise. All shit, all played for Liverpool. Dozens more like them. Only decent one was Solskjaer and he played for United and had a face that I would have loved to beat into mush. Remember that tosspot of a manager Egil Olsen who used to wear wellingtons to matches? Destroyed Wimbledon as well.

  3. Sunday Independent: The curse of modern day Ireland.

  4. Oasis: Have contributed nowt to the music scene and we would all be better off had they never existed. Only served to influence even more shite bands.

  5. People who think they are better than others: A bit general this one but this is one thing which pissed me off utterly. My old place of work was full of it. A boss refusing to acknowledge you because he was the boss, people talking to you and then making a beeline for someone they perceive as more important. Really gets under my wick that shite…[/quote]

  6. talentless publicity whores: e.g amanda brunker, the permanently startled glenda gilson and any “model” who whores herself to the sndo

  7. the o’reilly stables of fish & chip wrappers

  8. pat spillane, marty morrisey, dj toilet block salesman carey and ger canning

  9. FF, Lab FG and SF

  10. kevin myers and ray darcy (harks back to me being on challenging times and blackboard jungle and meeting both of the smg fcukers)

fc biggles
the huns
muldoons
the british army
the naked mole rat - looks too much like a cock
http://chasingdaisy.com/blogimages/naked_mole_rat.jpg

  1. Brits

We’re not supposed to hate the Brits these days but fuck it I still do. I look at our leaders sometimes and think we’re a nation of gombeens considering who we vote into power but when you look across the sea and know that those pricks had Thatcher for 11 years it tells you everything you need to know. They’re arrogant, insular (Clive Tyldsley’s commentary), xenophobic (yes I see the hyporcisy), imperialist wankers and we’d be far better off without them.

  1. Insects

No good can come from insects. They crawl on you, bite you, sting you, make you itchy, lay eggs on you, land on your food, transport shit around the place, they make buzzing noises when you’re trying to sleep, they fly at lights like fucking eejits, their existence ruins every hot climate and they’re scary motherfuckers. No thanks.

  1. IBEC

Self-serving, preaching wankers who feel better about themselves by ignoring obvious social and economic responsibilities. They market themselves as our economic guardians but maybe if they shut the fuck up once in a while with their doomsday predictions they might start to enjoy themselves.

  1. The Labout Party

Another bunch of self-serving, jumped-up pricks who have long ago abandoned any sort of ideals they claim to hold as core beliefs. Utterly out of touch with the working classes (whom they now seem happy to surrender to Sinn Fin), they’re paddling towards the already indescipherable shite in the centre of Irish politics and embarrassing the shite out of any of their older guard who actually believe in socialism, labour rights and the likes. Michael D should run while he can and if SIPTU had any backbone whatsoever (which they don’t) they’d have severed all ties years ago. Ruair Quinn is possibly the most embarrassing heir to James Connolly’s legacy imaginable.

  1. Ian O’Doherty

Kevin Myers, Aengus and the Fannings, Eoghan Harris, that prick who edits Magill, Mary Ellen Synon - cunts one and all I’m sure ye will agree. And I won’t hear a single word in defence of them other than this: they appear to be almost professional in their arseholery. This Ian O’Doherty fool though is something else. He’s smarmy and yet painfully lacking in wit. He’s like Kevin Myers if he left school at 12. He’s a through gobshite and I mean that in the literal sense - everything that comes out of his mouth is utter crap.

Christ in retrospect those are maybe a touch sanctimonious but they’re done now. And I reserve the right to have a separate room altogether for Brendan O’Connor who is beneath contempt.

  1. Kerry Katona
  2. Joey Barton
  3. The Streets
  4. Fat Birds that wear thongs halfway up their back
  5. Jason Byrne(hate that prick)

[quote=“balloobasluvsbeer”]1. Kerry Katona
2. Joey Barton
3. The Streets
4. Fat Birds that wear thongs halfway up their back
5. Jason Byrne(hate that prick)[/quote]

the shiit comdeian or the puzzle face bloke that plays for bohs?

The shit dickhead fookin prick comedian, nothin against the footballer at all

hate the 2 of them myself

  1. Ruth Dudley Edwards - horrible raving auld revisionist bitch. Would love to send her to a Wolfe Tones gig on her way to Room 101 to torture her more.

  2. Ray D’Arcy - sanctimonious twat, biggest jessie on radio ever. Couldn’t make his mind up about who to settle down with so his bird had to make it up for him by getting knocked up. Approached a female friend of mine in a club about 8 years ago, langers and made a show of himself. She told the squirt where to go.

  3. Ironing - kunt of a job and no matter how long you spend at it, your shirt is still wrinkled. The only good reason to get married.

  4. People writing on our tricolour - Davy Keogh says Hello does he, go back to your barstool in Phibsboro Davy you gypo and leave our flag alone. “Try Bites” Try fucking off and pay for advertising hoardings like everyone else you pricks.

  5. M50 Toll bridge - Should be bombed, simple as. A fcuking sellout of the country by the likes of Padraig Flynn trousering thousands for selling it out to National Toll Roads. A ready up from start to finish. Pee should be shackled to it while it’s bazookaed back to the stone age.

[quote=“balloobasluvsbeer”]

  1. Kerry Katona
  2. Joey Barton
  3. The Streets
  4. Fat Birds that wear thongs halfway up their back
  5. Jason Byrne(hate that prick)[/quote]

Kerry Katona, correct.

The Streets - enjoyed the first album but they’re now the biggest sellouts of all time, Mike Skinner has lost touch with his roots big time, everything after their first album is pure gash.

Fook forgot about the ironing SS**, should’ve been 2nd on my list. Absoloutely despise doing it and is one of the main reasons I rarely wear shirts as I always make a bolox of them.

I don’t know Joey Barton, I know he’s a hate-figure but my brother knows him quite well, says he’s actually not the worst at all just never got any guidance from home and doesn’t know how to handle himself sensibly. Badly needed a bit of cop-on only a father could teach you but never got that. Clattering yer man was wrong but the knacker he did box was roaring at him all night about his brother taking it up the arse in prison and he just lost the plot. Of course he’s a mentaler apart from that incident but I would mitigate for auld Joey in the instance for which he is currently incarcerated.

  1. Cork. Peoples Republic me bollix. Cut it off and let it drift away to that island where those LOST kuntz are holed up.

  2. Joe Duffy. No elaboration needed here.

  3. That fuckwit that writes for the Mail, Matt Cooper gets her on when he wants a loopy right wing view of the world. What’s her name??

  4. Coldplay. Sweet sufferin Jesus.

  5. Spillane presenting the Sunday Game. Fuck off

1.Kevin Myers
2.Rangers
3.Fat birds
4.My next door neighbours
5.Jelly

Few comments:

  • fat birds indeed but was remarking to Bandage recently that fat birds with no tits are the ultimate disgrace. I mean they can put fat on everywhere on their body apart from the one place you would want to see a bit of volume…
  • ironing is indeed a horiible exercise
  • Coldplay are indeed an horrendous excuse of a band
  • I would include the following GAA ‘analysts’ 1. Joe Brolly 2. Colm O’Rourke 3. Tommy Lyons. Pat Spillane is just an all round utter gobshite - well they all are so I don’t know why I made that distinction there.
  • Didn’t include O’Connor because I thought it went without saying. Steered well clear of that O’Doherty fookwit after the stories I heard about him but glanced at one of his pieces one day and he was lamenting the fact that he couldn’t do any research on a particular topic as it did not have a Wikipedia page. He also lamented the fact that he couldn’t find some birds sex tape that was meant to be on the net somewhere. I mean who does he think he’s kidding - you are a fucking speccy nerd that is happy in his loserness
  • Those Off the Ball twats on Newstalk. Hate them with a passion.

I like the Off The Ball lads - well except Ken Earley but I get the impression he’s meant to be a prick just for balance.

Couple of mentions for Ray D’Arcy so far. Throughly merited.

  • Ed Byrne
  • Ed Byrne’s mother
  • Ed Byrne’s father
  • Fat birds with no tits
  • Colm and Jim jim - what a pair of fupping tools.

Ed Byrne is class. Oasis are class.

For Room 101 - GAA

Apologies

To Farmer, 5 no. was too strict a cut off for me.
In the MGG Room 101 capsule
[B]

  1. Onions[/B]

2. Alternative Medicine, its freaks and smelly therapies
Shove yere crystals up yere angel’s, take yere self help books and jump off yere mental balcony’s into the wheatgrass sea of tranquility.

[B]3. Nissan Micras and their owners

  1. Human Resouces[/B]
    But not before ye tell me what ye do all day

5. The Mary Lou’s and Snottigh’s of Sinn Fein
It is no secret that I have a certain amount of patience for genuine socialists and republicans. But that two and their ilk piss me off. They are wheeled out in front of cameras day and night for no other reason than they are not associated with any West Belfast era carry on. Bugger off back to the Student Unions of South Dublin before McGuinness slaps ye around for being mouthy middleclass brats. Talk talk talk, neither of ye born again socialists have actually done anything other than get elected.
And Snottigh; I should remind you that your response to how you expect to pay for medical cards for all paye workers is still outstanding, along with a memorial to the late Mairead Farrell, however I note your prioritising with the committee to build a gaelscoil in D6W. And Mary Lou, two words; LIP WAX

6. Dublin Celebrities

Now boys and girls of the photo op; VIP distribution numbers are probably
less than the Irish Angling Association’s mail list, but the day I see Glendup on the cover of Vanity Fair I will launch a campaign to have ye released from room 101; Free the Dub-Brities. And Amanda lov’ you’re no beauty and your tits need lifting. Career prospects? Makeovers in 101?

7. Professional Public Services Moaners (PPSM)
The PPSM will complain about hospitals but will probably have either a medical card or Private insurance; or claimed 42% from their Med1. But guaranteed to have been born in a voluntary maternity hospital.
The PPSM is guaranteed to have gone through the public school system; and maybe even onto third level. Some PPSM’s will even have gotten Back to School allowances, free buses, lunches and breakfasts. etc etc
The PPSM will always whinge about paying too much tax. Get yere free eye test. We pay fuck all income tax here, CGT is a pissy 20%; Blame the Corporate 10% Tax on profits for it all why don’t ye, but who’'ll benefit from the 12% employers PRSI that’ll go with them when they leave. (Mary Lou, this is one of your pets, Any idea?)
And, why the fuck should the Tax Payer pay to lift your rubbish.
And, pay your telly licence before going onto the Joe show if ye want out of room 101.

8. Liberals
Funny how when it comes to public services and volunteering they’re suddenly all Tories. Ever notice how Green Lefty Liberals never send their children to local NS’s? And ye can take yere poisonous emission exploding VW camper vans with ye to 101.

9. People who refer to Pat Spillane as a GAA Pundit
Along with being an AI winning Kerryman and an attention seeking self-publicising gobby knowall, Smig Spillane is a school teacher, a publican and a comedian in the style of the Amateur Dramatic societies. (eg. Billa) Anyone who refers to him as a Sports Pundit is getting it wrong and in doing so they make no attempt to get it right. So Room 101 for them too.

10. People that call the GAA the Grab All Association.

Pick a post code or parish, any one at all, Compare facilities; then take a look at the project costs of Lansdowne Road. While in room 101 do some sums on the GDP generated by the GAA and its supporters and members over the last 120 years; then move onto Community contribution and services, schools health and fitness in days when there were barely shoes on the school teachers. But do let me now how that compares to the IRprivateschoolFU and FAanothercommitteeI’s records