Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross versus Manuel from Fawlty Towers

1

Anyone see this? BBC have apologised to Andrew Sachs for the messages Brand and Ross left on his answerphone after he didn’t pick up to do a pre-arranged interview.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/oct/27/russell-brand-jonathan-ross-andrew-sachs-calls

Russell Brand: Hello Andrew Sachs, this is Russell Brand you are meant to be on my show now mate I am here with Jonathan Ross. I could still do the interview to your answerphone.

Jonathan Ross: Let’s do it

Brand: Man er, Andrew Sachs.

Ross: Don’t call him Manuel, that’s really bad manners. I apologise for Russell - he’s an idiot.

Brand: I said Andrew Sachs! Look Andrew Sachs I have got respect for you and your lineage and your progeny, never let that be questioned.

Ross: Don’t hint

Brand: I weren’t hinting! Why did that come across as a hint?

Ross: Because you know what you did

Brand: That wasn’t a hint

Ross: He fucked your granddaughter!

[laughter in the studio]

Brand: That’s his answerphone!

Ross: I’m sorry I apologise Andrew, I apologise, I can’t help it, you were talking about it and it was in my head, I apologise.

Brand: Jonathan!

Ross: I got excited, what can I say, it just came out.

Brand: Right. you wait till I come on your show. Andrew Sachs I did not do nothing with Georgina oh no, I revealed I know her name! Oh no, it’s a disaster! Abort, abort! Put the phone down, put the phone down, code red, code red! I’m sorry Mr Fawlty, I’m sorry. You’re a waste of space! Oh no, Jonathan

Ross: Why did you tell me? I forgot. You mentioned her and then it was in my head and then it came out.

Brand: I know you can’t be blamed for this It’s too much for you

Ross: He is the poor man at home sobbing over his answer machine.

Brand: What’s going to happen? I will get a call now from the satanic sluts.

Ross: If he is like most people of a certain age he has probably got a picture of his grandchildren when they were young and innocent right by the phone. So while he is listening to the message he is looking at a picture of her when she was about nine on a swing

Brand: She was on a swing when I met her let’s ring back Andrew Sachs.

[They call for a second time]

Ross: Hello! Manuel here!

Sachs: [his answer machine message] Sorry I can’t answer at the moment

Brand: [interrupting] I am too busy thinking about killing myself Andrew, this is Russell Brand. I am so sorry about the last message - it was part of the radio show, it was a mistake The truth is I am phoning you to ask if I can marry - that’s right, marry - Georgina the granddaughter.

Ross: And I would like to be a page boy.

Brand: He wants to be a page boy, we are going to have a Fawlty Towers-themed wedding.

Ross: Now you’ve spoilt it!

Brand: No! I made it better. I’m sorry, I’ll do anything. I wore a condom. Put the phone down! Oh what’s going to happen. Look I’ve got a mental illness. Do you think that made it better?

Ross: You will never become king rat in the Variety Club now.

Brand: Oh no, that’s over for me now Jonathan I think we’ve made the situation worse … We’ve got to stop upsetting Manuel. This time Jonathan I’m convinced we can make it better.

Ross: Let’s just sing to him.

Brand: I’ll make up something as I go along

[Third message]

Brand: [singing] I’d like to apologise for the terrible attacks, Andrew Sachs, I would like to show contrition to the max, Andrew Sachs. I would like to create world peace, between the yellow, white and blacks, Andrew Sachs, Andrew Sachs. I said something I didn’t have oughta, like I had sex with your granddaughter. But it was consensual and she wasn’t menstrual, it was consensual lovely sex. It was full of respect I sent her a text, I’ve asked her to marry me, Andrew Sachs

Ross: This has made it worse, you have trivialised the whole incident.

Brand: Hang up, hang up! It’s trivialised it!

Ross: You know there is one way we could possibly make it better

Brand: We can keep ringing, and even after the show’s finished, kick his front door in and scream apologies into his bottom.

Ross: Hello, Manuel is not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone

[Fourth message]

Brand: I am sorry, I am so sorry that I had a difficult life, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry Andrew. Let’s just take some time together, we can meet up.

Ross: You’re making it worse, just say sorry.

Brand: Jonathan Ross is sorry as well, it was his idea Sorry about everything that’s ever happened

[Later]

Brand: No one could have been offended by anything that went on in that show.

Ross: Who could possibly be offended by anything there? If they were they are crazy people.

Brand: If Andrew Sachs listens to his answerphone message when he gets it

Ross: The saving grace is you didn’t have anything to do with his granddaughter did you?

Brand: Oh actually I did, I slept with her, but it was ultimately undermined, not undermined, underlined with love…

2

Part 1
[media=youtube]U7IHJ66wj9g

Part 2
[media=youtube]uAxPkcnlyNM

3

I would…

4

Yer man Gordon Brown has been speaking out about this now. The two lads are probably loving the attention.

5

NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

More pictures of the dirty granddaughter here.

http://salvationgroup.com/satanic/sluts/voluptua.htm

6

Satanic Sluts :eek: http://www.fawltysite.net/Images/manuel12.jpg

7

[quote=“Bandage”]NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

More pictures of the dirty granddaughter here.

http://salvationgroup.com/satanic/sluts/voluptua.htm[/quote]

Christ - can you imagine what she would do to you?

8

I actually didn’t know at the start that Brand had banged yer wan…thought it was only a bit of a laugh…but now its out that he did stick a tail in her, its a bit different. Deserves a slap or two I reckon.

9

Pile of shite if you ask me. Sachs is a comedian, he worked for the BBC, his grand daughter is in a band called the satanic sluts. Not sure Sachs is even that borthered by it, his agent asked for an apology, they got it, done and dusted if you ask me.

10

Spot on there MBB.

It’s all a load of shite.

11

I get the impression this is a Dail Mail lead campaign to get at Ross who they have priors with. Take a look at their website and you’ll see the furore they’re stirring over there.

12

according to the news ross and brand have both been suspended by the bbc…

13

Christ, the world economy is going to hell and this is all the British PM has to worry about. Shocking.

14

[quote=“tipptops*”]I actually didn’t know at the start that Brand had banged yer wan…thought it was only a bit of a laugh…but now its out that he did stick a tail in her, its a bit different. Deserves a slap or two I reckon.[/quote]Definitely deserves a slap

15

What do people see in Russell Brand… What a fucking tosser he is. Although this incident is mildly funny most of the shite he talks is pure scutter. Yes Tipptops*, he needs a good climming.

16

Meh, I dont mind him, I find his podcast hilarious in places, poorish at worst.

17

Maybe a little harsh. Some of his skits are obviously funny but his voice, demeanour and general personality are grating at best, something akin to sandpaper.

18

He comes across as a idiot and looks like a serious bender but i read somewhere the list of hotties he’s banged and was quite impressed (female hotties that is).

19

i know i could be slated for this on here, but did anyone else hear brendan o conner do a great job summing up this whole episode on matt cooper this evening…

20

It’s the fact that Ross gets 6m a year that amazes me. Handy enough now for the BBC to take him down a peg or two and renegotiate for something more reasonable in these recessionary times.